P0RN STARS
Monday – I dreamt last night, Ev and I were having another child….I don’t dream…I haven’t really dreamt since I lost Ev. The past week I have been dreaming. It’s so odd to me that I have to question reality when I wake up….did that happen?
Is this caused by the peptides?
What ChatGPT says “Yes — they can be associated with more vivid dreams or stronger dream recall, but that effect is not well established in good human studies for the specific combo of CJC-1295 no DAC + ipamorelin. What is established is that the GH/GHRH/ghrelin signaling system interacts with sleep, and human studies of GH-related signaling have shown changes in sleep architecture, including more REM sleep in some settings. Since REM is the stage most associated with vivid dreaming, it is reasonable to think some people notice more intense dreams on these peptides.”
I wanted better sleep…and I have to think this is helping. It is currently Monday and I will take both of the peptide blends tonight before bed. I just completed a leg workout…managed a leg cramp with 2 sets left…will attempt another now…ok…1 down…done…time for a quick shower and to get Charlotte from the gym. Will need to drink some salted water tonight or I will be up with leg cramps tonight.
Tuesday – no dreams – slept 7 hours, realize now at 5:23 am I could have stayed in bed…I need to train myself to try to sleep more.
Wednesday – dreams – slept 6 hours. Did not take peptides, had a drink while watching the Montreal game. Did back yesterday, heavy heavy. 219, not losing weight, but my underwear are falling off me. I can wear a belt for my size 36 pants, which i can put on and take off without undoing a button, but no belt for my undies!
Thursday – no peptides – tired as hell….Started a kitchen reno, worked like a dog. Forgot that Charlotte was supposed to be at a hockey camp at Ottawa U, coach called and asked for her to be at the 2:30 game.
Friday – no peptides – tired as death, slept until 5:30 but nowhere near enough to recover from yesterday….Charlotte had a game at 9am Ottawa U…Football at Mother T in the haven at noon….2 hours, played ironman…which means both offense and defense…2 hours of straight work….then back to Ottawa U for a game at 3:30…I have no idea how she did it. Back home at 6, made pizzas for her, her friend Kam stayed the night…had a glass of wine and I passed the hell out.
Saturday – its 5am, been up since 3:30. Kids are sleeping on the sofa, tried to get them up so I can vacuum and wash the floor, they said no…started laundry my second load of the day is in the wash, emptied dishwasher….stuff…start my long weekend off right. I will do a heavy chest workout this morning, go to HD for flowers for the garden and backyard…get the property read for summer. Did peptides last night…oven is preheating for a sourdough….I need to get these kids upstairs so I can vacuum and lift weights…..frigin kids………need to vacuum the pool today also…Might give her a wax…maybe Monday when it’s 28 degrees!….what else…I have to make a custom buffet this weekend, get it installed in Arnprior and close out a few other things on that job…..and paint my frigin car….And I have uni work to stay on top of……..
When I saw Adam Kingsley at the rink yesterday, the first thing he asked was if I was on the gas…code for steroids…I said yes. I’m not really on steroids in the usual sense…Yes, I am taking testosterone, but I would not be considered anabolic. My current testosterone levels are not superhuman, I will not get any bigger than natural. I have been very muscular in the past so my body is quick to get back to that size. If you haven’t seen me in 6 months, and hadn’t seen me in the past 20 years, you may not realize or you might be shocked to see how much I’ve changed…..but I’ve been here, and bigger, before. The thing about muscle, if you had it…naturally….you can get it back reasonably quick. I am lifting really heavy. I put in a ton of work to get the muscle I have. It’s not like I’m on the sofa eating cheesies and packing on muscle……..I am on the sofa eating cheesies…yes…but I’m also lifting heavy ass weights.
As Ronnie Coleman once said, “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, but don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weights.”
You want to build muscle? Really put it on…You are going to have to bring the pain. It is going to be heavy, hard, and it is going to hurt….every…single…time. This morning I will open up with 4×8 75-pound dumbbell incline bench press…still light weight compared to what I lifted 10 years ago, but I’ve only been working since mid-January…that is the start….I will lift another 20,000 pounds in that hour I work out.
Why talk openly… Scott asks… why do I share this stuff? I should ask him how he feels about it. Today, when I talk to him, I will. I do have a response; lots of people send me messages of thanks. Hey, I think that is crazy also, because I don’t entirely understand how someone can’t share the things going on in their life…but you know what…there are some things going on in my life I don’t talk about. Not many, and most because there might be someone else involved who doesn’t want to be talked about. There are things going on that I don’t want to talk about anymore…stuff I just want to let go of, and talking about it keeps it alive.
I am trying to be a better person every day. I am learning to be more empathetic. I make a serious effort to understand how the people around me are feeling.
I mean…fuk…there are 2 guys here with cancer…wake up to face that every day? Put yourself in those shoes for a second….Russett up at 3:30 just like me….what is he thinking about? J at 6…
Hell….a couple of these women have already been through it…I think half here have had cancer of some sort….
Like….whatever I have going on doesn’t amount to crap compared to that…. the pain I felt losing Ev…diddly squat…
And Now….The Weather….
Russett…still alive….Quote, ” Update for me. 25% of the way through my treatments. The only adverse reactions are taste and sensitivity to cold. Blood clot is fixing itself with blood thinners. Going to enjoy the long weekend.”
Today is Russett’s birthday. I will be over to enjoy a moment of his company.
Jeremy…still alive…J and I spoke quite a bit this week…he is attempting to do TRT. He has been denied in the past due to his brain tumour, but is sending it through my TRT doc to see if the results change.
His thinking…he wants to spend his time left….optimized.
Jeremy’s starting Testosterone levels. Total T = 17.1 free T = 232, what chatgpt says
“Bottom line: his total T is decent; his free T may be low. If he has symptoms like low libido, ED, low morning erections, fatigue, depression, low strength, anemia, or loss of muscle, this is worth a proper endocrine workup. I would not call it an automatic TRT case from those two numbers alone, especially with the tumor history.”
It might not be an easy sell….but it’s worth a try.
To be 100% honest…I wasn’t 100% honest with my doctor. I wanted TRT, knew what I needed to say to get it, even if my T was fine. They will treat symptoms, and I simply said I was lifting heavy and not losing weight/gaining muscle….not entirely true…But I wanted optimization..
J’s update, “205 Hitting the gym regularly, really starting to get in a groove where I miss it when I cant go. Bought a hot tub to soak my geriatric ass. Body feels so much better after a sauna and a soak. Doing cold plunges in the lake, punishing but rejuvenating. Manitoulin is waking up, weekend markets, pow wows and a bunch of interesting food trucks – life is simple here but the pace suits me well.”
Suds ….lol winery. That is all….
I wonder what the scale will say about that tidbit 🙂
TBag ….Well, i just weighed myself and I’m still 143 Not much of a story here. It’s been a quiet week and nothing going on this weekend, lol…..
She may head to Upper Canada Village with her son this weekend….steps if nothing else. She is still waiting to see Russett in the hula hoop….I will try to get him into it tonight…
Pumper …Hovering in the 193-194 lbs range this week. Finished my first 14 day trial at the Oxygen location near you and I discovered that I can do the same trial at each of the other locations because they are all individually owned. Score for my wallet! Not good for when I decide to get the membership because then you are stuck with only one location. Not cool after being used to Goodlife’s membership where I can use it anywhere in the country… have to return to work part time next week…I hope all the yoga I’ve been doing will help me be more zen around our “clients”! Now go habs go!…
her ex-husband lives in the basement….geezus…I bet she enjoys going camping every weekend…
YogaJeni …did I spell that right?…..Weight still the same. Started with a trainer yesterday. He has some suggestions and tweaking. First thing I noticed is I’m probably not lifting enough…. Might also have to think about a sardine diet….
Sardines….gross….
No updates from HotTub….no sardine photos to tease YJ’s appetite.
Slab…Weight 124.9 this morning 24.2% BF Honesty sucks. But here it is. The lowest I’ve gotten is 124.4 which was yesterday ..then I went for a 5 k run and came back weighing 2 lbs heavier. (…the f*ck is that???) NHL playoffs are bringing me joy and May goal sabatoge. Will be heading to the gym this morning in preparation of drink/snack carnage later tonight….
Slab’s photo of the week….
I just don’t think my back/shoulders/whatever…look that muscular…
Yours Truly…although my weight hasn’t changed at all this month, hovering around 220, cast your attention to the following.
The belt on the left I have owned forever…over 20 years. On the left, maybe 5….I have never worn the belt on the left before last week….a 5 year old belt…never worn.
It will need to be my next belt, the other one if too big, even after a shrink in the wash….I’m that laundry guy….
and now the back photo that Slab posted…
Ya, maybe not my strongest body part, but I’m working on it. Today was Chest so no pump in that photo.
The Quote of The Day
good friends are like stars. you don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there….
Russett sent me that one….gazing into eternity…..or thinking about internet stars?
I’m heading over there later for a beer, then watching the Montreal game in the backyard under the stars. This morning was a mix of so many chores and a workout, but the backyard is coming together.
Charlotte is enjoying the pool. I may not have it all…But I have all I need….
Enjoy the long weekend, its going to be a scorcher.
