Key West Sunsets…

Russett is gone…

I say it out loud to myself, people around me, even strangers…

I have a lot to say about this, but that will wait for another time. I have heard some requests from the family to wait on it, and in the end…Russett would want me to do whatever they wanted.

Yesterday I purchased a new Duvet…a cover…pillows…new cutlery…

I am constantly working to let go of my past….

Jane emailed me on Wednesday to let me know I was crazy…true…she thinks I haven’t dealt with my mother or Ev…..this, she feels didn’t make me available to Mel…she thinks I only had time for Charlotte…..

I made Mel breakfast in bed 300 days of 365 a year! Maybe more….Charlotte was an aside…Mel wouldn’t have it any other way!
She didn’t even speak to Charlotte, and I put up with it….

Jane…Mel had all of me…she pushed me until I broke….thank goodness….

But I was available for her….and I am available to anyone in my life….
If you knew people in my life, you would realize that I learnt so much from losing Ev that I cherish every minute I spend with others.

I am selfless…..constantly learning greater empathy, which I practice constantly.

And yes, I do still have things to let go….and I am trying to release every single thing….but I won’t forget…the good or the bad….

The fact is, I loved Mel more than I ever loved Ev. I didn’t know love the way I do now….you have to suffer to appreciate….

And I have suffered!

My mother? Really too bad you didn’t get a chance to meet her….she could have come around the BYC to sink a few boats…just for something to do….

That’s the kind of thing she might do…just to try something new…

The Quote of the Day

I will allow it…. ~The Beagle

I wonder if I will ever hear that again….it’s right up there with I love your face…..

I’m a disaster…yes, Jane…but I know it…and I deal with it. I know what happiness is….Love….and I try to make that my life every single minute of the day.

OK….here is crazy… no more Mots-C…but I’m not done yet….Once I get myself glued back together, I do plan on trying a few things.

Is that crazy? totally….I am currently in amazing shape! I look absolutely spectacular. Why do I want more?
I don’t know…I have decided I will start running more. Maybe I don’t have to chase any bigger arms; I’m big enough.

New thoughts to help push me around the loop….see you all soon….