This weekend I worked on uploading old manblog content….I put up a lot of old posts… Shaking….my physical reaction to it is crazy….I didn’t expect it to be like this…. I managed to post the end of September 2014 yesterday….freaking right out…I had to stop…just shaking and my anxiety through the roof…medicated and right through […]
Read More...Not my best evening, sad… Charlotte and I had planned to go to hot yoga tonight, but I cancelled at the last minute. Not feeling my best. I talked to a friend of mine about the event leading up to the feeling, a Mel issue, and she told me to have a beer and chill […]
Read More...How did we get here? Was it love? Did falling in love lead us to this moment? How many times have we fallen in love? Me? Russett? Krista? Jeremy? Tbag? Slab? What is missing for us? For me? …….I’m a tough case. I want what Ev was.Is that easy? Touch me….When we went for a […]
Read More...I took my first injection of hormone replacement therapy today. .17 ml of testosterone enanthate 3x per week. ChatGPT offers this:Your Actual Dose 👉 That’s textbook TRT and a very reasonable starting dose. What to Expect at ~100 mg/week (3× weekly) Weeks 1–2 Weeks 3–6 Weeks 6–12 Stable testosterone levels with low estrogen issues for […]
Read More...Rhiannon, Charlotte, and I spent Christmas at Syds. It was nice, we opened gifts together, Syd made us dinner…the first time any of my children has made me a meal. I watched 2 football games, Love Actually, and Hard Love. Tonight…maybe Serendipity…maybe LA Story… maybe something else that makes me think of good times and […]
Read More...I have been rebuilding the man blog, uploading the old posts, 1 or 2 a day.It’s January of 2014, and all talk about dieting and eating eggrolls, so much fun. ….Ev is alive…. In January of 2014, I can remember what we were doing, the conversations we had. Oddly, it’s like I didn’t have a […]
Read More...What did I get up to today, let’s see.The washer…I fixed that yesterday…or did I? No, leaked. Tore it apart and fixed it again…leaked. Third time was a charm, the washer is good to go…and holy smokes I own a lot of towels. Geezus, the towels never end around here. Last load of that is […]
Read More...Ok…where were we…. December 17, 2025. This is the first 17/12 I’ve been able to feel for many years. What have I learned? I appreciate a made bed. I want touch…the way Ev would touch, a push while sitting on the sofa, a hand on me while I drove, to be pulled hard for hugs […]
Read More...What….I just this second realized it’s almost been a month since I posted on the man blog… A month of chips…beer…and turkey. Lot’s of turkey. I survived Thanksgiving, I hit the scale a day or 2 after, leftovers and all I was only at 235 pounds… This morning. 233.2, not so bad. Where have I […]
Read More...The fam and I spent the day at La Ronde in Montreal yesterday, we packed a bit of food to ensure I wouldn’t have to crush a plate of nachos with cheese dip…it sort of worked. Beagle might have come with us but as you can see… there were issues last time he was at […]
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