Day 5?

Saw my dear friend Krista yesterday….she is making changes!

She still hasn’t offered a before photo….is this after?

I will see Krista again tomorrow…I know she has mowed the lawn…and I think she had some interest in mowing the lawn of one of her neighbors….
Time will tell.

Krista is in it to win it….and I will be pushing her along to lift her up if she derails.

……it was Russett’s celebration of life today….how was that? It sucked…..he wasn’t there…..
I’m still under a strict publication ban so I will hold in my sadness for another time….

It will likely cost some poor bugger at some point….but therapy may have paid off.

There were some bright moments to it…lots of us together enjoying each other’s company. Good times reminiscing…

And somehow….I did manage to manifest my dear friend again….which makes me a superhero…..if being an asshole using quick wit, poor judgement, and loose lips ever become a commodity….I’m rich.

I think the Beagle may have taken control once or twice….or maybe I tried my best to do justice to a moment here or there.

Ah….fuk I’m going to miss him…..

The beauty of David Sean Russett is that he would do anything and everything to make a person’s life just a bit better….he wouldn’t make nothing of it….he would make you feel like nothing happened but this magical thing you needed just fell on your lap….you were reborn into the glory of the Beagle…….and he would shrug it off and send you a backhanded comment….you would be forever in his debt…..and wonder wtf just happened…..

Russett was the KING of QUON.

I love him……..not just because he was my twin…………….

Sorry….pouring….enough….of my friend Russett for tonight.

I bought 2 scales this week….both tell me I’m fat….just seriously overweight….I’m not obese or anything…….

My perfect weight…171 pounds…..
Just before I see Ev and Russett…Hearty….Mahina….Marc….so many great people….I will see the 171….

ahhhh….so morbid…..

Ok…2 scales….179 clams and 279 clams…that and my old $40 scale, and 3 different weights.
Like…I need a cheap scale, wasting money on this BS is BS.

Lifted like crazy today…all last week, and all this week to come. I am strong right now, really strong.
I need to track down some 100-120 pound dumbbells…my 90s are garbage….peanuts.

I’ve risen to such great heights….thinking today while talking with Mandy and Kimmie how much I wish Ev could see me….Oh my god she would love me so hard right now….the person I have become….

I have learned so much…….if only I could show her.

I do get to enjoy myself in the company of others….be the person I am and enjoy my lessons…..but if I could show her just one time…..just for 5 minutes……………….10 seconds wouldn’t be enough……..but I would take it……………

I have never been much of a God-fearing man…..I bought a bible a few months ago and is sits there staring at me daily while I read a few easy summer books. Enjoying the passing of time under the sun….being happy about my space…

But why not?

I Russett sitting with Ev right now? Will they get together with Hearty on Wednesday for poker….Charlie the dog, Ev’s parents….mine….geezus….

Are they having a celebration of our lives? …..are they watching how time passes us by…..will we join them and be forgiven…..

And now…the weather

Jeremy: Mirrors
Only a few years ago, i would to hate seeing myself in the mirror,. Frail, weak and broken..
It was hard on my ego.
Started back in the gym again last winter, now slowly emerging,
My gait is still unsteady, my speech off just a little bit…. but when I stand in front of the mirror curling 45s – I forget all that.
Trying to allow myself that mirror moment in more of my life.
Too many butter tarts, 210

I need to catch up with J….

I will catch up with everyone this week…….I haven’t heard a weigh-in for some time.

The Quote Of The Day

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.” — Edna St. Vincent Millay

I have visited hell a time or two….

The thing is….you just go on living…you are just doing what you did every other day….then a moment comes up….and it’s that person’s moment….

So… however big a part of your life that person was….is how often you will think of those moments….

Big lives………..When I was a young man…under 18…too young to serve at my mother’s bar….I was a bartender…one night this woman and her friend were there….and at the end of the night they left, and the one woman came back in….it was late…2:30am…she asked me to give her another drink, and I made myself one also. She was older…maybe 30…28? I was a kid….She told me I reminded her of the love of her life….whom had passed away…and she just wanted to sit and talk with me for a while….she was just from Kemptville so I was always surprised I never saw her again….anyway….we had a few drinks…talked….and before she left she said to me…..be careful….the good ones die young….

…..I’m not sure she was talking about me……….