2026
February
Standard

Am I Changing?

By Victor • On • In Evelyn, Weight loss • 3 min read

Not my best evening, sad… Charlotte and I had planned to go to hot yoga tonight, but I cancelled at the last minute. Not feeling my best.

I talked to a friend of mine about the event leading up to the feeling, a Mel issue, and she told me to have a beer and chill out.

The thing is….I don’t want to have a beer. I used to drink a beer and a few ounces of whiskey every night. I used to drink many of them, way too many. The past 7 years with Mel, I’ve considered quitting drinking many times. She told me her husband quit drinking while they were together, and I get it, living with an abusive drinker makes you want to drink less, and less, and less. She would take the joy out of drinking…..

Every single time….For 7 years I waited for Mel to get mean, 80% of my nights I went to bed unhappy.

And still I miss her sometimes…If only she would be back here to abuse me once more, offer an insult to me, Ev, or Charlotte…..am I sick? How do I miss that?

It looked so good on the outside….Paul mentioned it at poker last week….how things aren’t as they seem…but I was in it…I couldn’t see outside of it.

When Ev died, I drank. Hard and often. Tonight I will not need a beer to calm my nerves. I’m not quitting drinking, but I am no longer a “drinker.” Tomorrow is Friday. I plan on opening the bottle of wine I skipped on Sunday and enjoying a sip….after I lift. We shall see.

So…am I changing? Yes. Is Testosterone Replacement Therapy making changes?
Here are a few I believe:
1. I’m more alert.
2. I feel the need to eat…protein…I’m hungry for good food.
3. I want to work out, I’m driven to lift.
4. I look forward to stairs at work, being under load.
5. My brain seems to work better, not just alert, I’m clear, I think faster.

Are these changes TRT? Are they the result of not having the stress of Mel in my life? Both?

My friend’s BF has taken his 3rd dose of TRT and feels no changes. He is doing .25 ml twice a week, the same total as I am, but I have split mine into .166 3x a week to stay more balanced. I have read that 3x is better than 2 at keeping your estrogen more in check…that estrogen is important for some things, but I don’t want mine going up.

I am 3 weeks in, I feel good. I wish I had done this when I first talked about it, a year or more ago. The idea has been bouncing around for some time. I knew the positives. I had done prohormones in my 30s and felt the benefit. TRT is like that, but I’m 54 now, so I realize a greater gain, and that is ZERO recovery. I can lift as heavy as I want, and I feel no pain the next day.

The scale is creeeeeeeping down. I did see a 226 this week. I ate pizza twice, chatgpt is tracking my macros, and I am in a constant state of deficit while keeping my protein up. Good old chat advised me to eat the pizza, saying I was way too low a few days. Today included, I’ll have some Greek yogurt before bed to get some extra protein. I am currently running about 2000 calories under and need 70 grams of protein…going to mix a shake right now….one sec. Later some yogurt and a banana.

The thing is…I used to find it impossible to eat like this…well not always, in my 30s there was a period where I really took care of myself, and I ate just like this…and that’s how I feel…like that guy.

That guy hadn’t met Ev. He hadn’t been broken since childhood. He was confident and strong, lean and fast. That is the guy I will be again this summer….for the rest of my life.

I hope to live 20 more healthy years, and I am going to do everything in my power to make that happen.

Oh…my blood pressure is way down! WAY down. I am not sure what the change has been recently, visceral fat loss? But my BP has been dropping the past month and a half.

December 16th I read 156/95. And that was a huge improvement from 168/98 in May. I had seen some reasonable numbers here and there, but now I’m seeing 123/72, 119/70, 126/70. If I keep going, I will have perfect blood pressure very soon. As it stand the chance of me having a heart attack or stroke is so much lower…. minuscule.

Add not drinking, I’m golden. I’m not not drinking, but I’m not drinking….

Ok…all better. Writing the man blog clears my mind. I write this stuff down, not just so that Deonn can call me a bitch ( a learnt reaction from his father, I’m told…or the dude across the street ), but because it removes it from me, like a weight off my chest.

No weather today, this weekend I hope to get updated measurements from everyone, including Russett.

Get those updates to me!

The Quote of The Day
“You will face many defeats in life, but never let yourself be defeated.” – Maya Angelou

The end
Standard

life…the journey…

By Victor • On • In Evelyn, Family, Weight loss • 3 min read

How did we get here?

Was it love? Did falling in love lead us to this moment?

How many times have we fallen in love?

Me? Russett? Krista? Jeremy? Tbag? Slab?

What is missing for us?

For me? …….I’m a tough case. I want what Ev was.
Is that easy? Touch me….When we went for a drive, she would just press her hand against me….push…my leg, my shoulder, my side….just connect with me………………

I mourn that touch. That push….that is the push of one person’s love to another….

From Ev to me…..

Russett and Slab are currently in relationships. They are supported…when they sit on the sofa to watch a show, they have a leg or an arm draped over them…touch…

Touch is my love language…

It’s been a while since I’ve been touched…I could change that, but I am trying to focus on Charlotte.

Here at the manblog, there are some good lives, and some under development.

Russett and Slab have their relationships in order. Krista is in love limbo, Jeremy is running the seniors circuit, Tbag I’m not clear on, and I am in a holding pattern.

My house is being painted…green….a friend of mine recently told me I look great in green so why not. I also have the hardwood to redo the floors. I’m starting to renovate/freshen up the place. I had planned on doing this when the last kid, which I thought would me Mels’ youngest, was off to university, but I’m doing it now.

I want my environment to be as close to perfect as I can get it.

Mel left with some stuff….her stuff…some of it I miss. One of those things is a stand mixer just like this one.

I was able to land this beauty yesterday. I’m also down a vitamix, but I didn’t use it often so its lower down on the list. If you watch FB, and are quick enough, you can get almost anything for free.

Of course, she took the cushions for the outdoor furniture, which it looks like I’m going to have to order replacements sometime before spring…if funding allows.

Funding is a huge issue right now. I had to pay the lawyer $2500 this week, $500 to hockey…I am getting deeper and deeper into it.

Staying in the moment….I will get to the end of this, and everything will have its place.

With the house being painted, it’s a total disaster at the moment, and I had it set up so nicely for the past month. The paint will be finished next week, and the house will be back in order, right now though, it has me spinning.

As far as me getting into a relationship goes…I need to focus on Charlotte for a while…and myself. I keep saying this over and over but I do miss company. I know its for the best….wait until spring, summer, until Charlotte is feeling more comfortable…happier.

Until I’m used to being alone….I guess….

And now….the Weather…

Slab….is not interested in posting photos of herself of exposing whom she is…not now. I asked her if it was ok to post a few of her best shape photos but she asked me to wait….so I offer this…this photo is very much what Slab once looked like.

I kid you not! She has been this meaty!
Slab is down to 133.8 thanks to the stomach flu…they should bottle it and sell it!
She is down 5 pounds this month.

Jeremy has gained 3.5 pounds. Unlike the rest of us, he is trying to gain weight after all. He claims he has a bit of a belly but arms and legs like matchsticks….ah…I’ve seen those photos…the flies buzzing around your eyes? More ice cream bud. I think chocolate is very calorie-dense also…chocolate milk, calories and protein!

We might as well do Krista next. Krista is S T R E S S E D out. She is juggling too many things. I’m batting for her to start taking care of herself…and share embarrassing details…but thus far its all Oreos and marshmallows.

Tbag is down to 145.2, that’s more than 5 pounds lost. She shared this image:

Her goal was to hit her target in just 5 more days, 6 pounds to go. Not likely to happen, but not a problem either, change the bar, it’s your goal…. adjust it.

Russett won’t give me a weight, saying he is stuck in the 230s with a colonoscopy and endoscopy in 2 weeks. We have been chuckling about his new goal weight being 20 pounds more than his starting weight of just a few years ago.

Yours Truly is still at 228.4, thats 30 pounds below my 2025 maximum. Today I have a great workout in front of me, chest and tris, then I think I’ll hit the sauna.
I’m happy….ish…really happy….ish….
I just wish it were a little different… and the paint was finished so I could set my life up nicely again.
More happy….ish….soon!

The Quote of the Day
A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other

I had hoped Mel would change, but she wouldn’t. It was never going to be her fault. She would insult me and Charlotte because that is how her Father raised her. She would never be sorry, she would never truly care about me or Charlotte…

Here at the man blog we are just a group of imperfect poeple trying to make ourselves healthier….and we aren’t giving up on each other.

The end
Standard

The Shame….

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 3 min read

I have to force myself to live in the moment. There are times during the day I find myself spiralling, thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month…

All those days will work themselves out if I focus on right now. Being better, healthier, getting my ducks lined up….

I got home around 5pm, spun up dinner for Charlotte and I (Ave is out), made a quick trip to the grocery store…protein, protein, protein…there is no end to my demand for protein these days. Once I got home I hit the weights.

Which bring us to TRT, Scott is sick of hearing about it, you may be also. I can’t wait to work out, not only because my body almost demands, it also clears my mind. Monday, so on the needle. My last injection was Friday so my Testosterone level would be at its weekly low Sunday night, but I still felt great.

I slept like an absolute baby last night, more than 8 hours. I have started taking D3, B12, and magnesium. CHATGPT tells me to. AI is my new favorite training tool, (and fitnessAI to track my workouts). Chatgpt tracks my food, tells me what I need more of, what to watch, what suppliments I need, if I workout too much–last week I went 6 straight days–and it doesn’t forget. Tomorrow it will just keep on making me the best version of myself I can be.

So…the doom and gloom, what makes my anxiety spike? I am organizing a refinance on the house. I’ve put it off for over 10 years, but it’s time. I also have some lawyering to do, my lord, they take their time…lol…I need to be patient and let the process run its course. I worry about these things. I’m trying to get this cabinetry company off the ground, have work to do, kids to take care of, a house to clean…its a lot solo. I’m sure the other side of this past life is in deeper….life is busy.

I still have 3 beers left of the 12 pack Syd gave me for Christmas…I’ve had 12 beers, 1.5 bottles of red wine, and 4 oz of bourbon this past month. That might seem like alot but around here that could happen in a day…..in what seems like a past life.

Is that TRT? There are definite changes to the way my mind is whirling around in there. I think about effort. My body rejoices in climbing the stairs carrying a load, again and again. It screams for protein….I’ve turned into a frigin savage. It’s 8:49, and I think I could lift again, another hour. I feel unstoppable physically.

That part of my life, my physical health, is better than every. I feel like I’m in my 20s right now…

and now….the weather….

Russett is lifting!

To quote Mr. Russett “You may be an asshole, but you’re a good motivator.”
A sweet compliment.

The same day Tbag said she was “So focused, thanks for your help.”

My good friend Angie commented on one of my FB posts, saying she thought shaming was out? I responded that if you are part of the club its ok…

And really, who am I shaming here? Myself? I am ashamed….I’ve tried to kill myself with Doritos! I should be ashamed….

One day long ago, Angie was trying to get ultra-thin, and her mother was scolding her for how lean she had become. Angie asked me in that moment to tell her mother it was a healthy lean….and it may have been…There is no shame in being fat if that is what you want to be…or fat…or gay…or whatever you decide is best for you, be a pumkin!

I’ve heard this shame talk before….usually from someone who is hiding their shame.

Rejoice in where you are at and welcome the road ahead.

I didn’t ask for any updates tonight. I know Russett will weigh less than me soon, Tbag is hard at it, Slab is pounding weights, Krista is eating marshmallows, and Jeremy is swinging his arms in the form of an ancient Chinese art, with a number of 80-year-olds.

The Quote of The Day

“A harmful truth is better than a useful lie.” – Thomas Mann 

The truth is, my life is not perfect right now, far from it. I kicked Mel out, and she controlled our finances…I’m in the crap right now financially, but I’m getting it done. I’m done living with a drunk. I’ve had all the drunken abuse I can handle for one lifetime. She reminded me of my mother in the end, drinking every night and looking for a fight….She can fight the next guy…I want happiness.

In six months, my finances will be sorted out. I will be in the best shape of my life, reading a book in the backyard, by the pool….it will be paradise.

The end
Standard

Is the Race on?

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 1 min read

Short and sweet tonight. Just finished a leg workout. I was saying to a friend tonight how a leg workout isn’t as satisfying as chest or back because you don’t get to see the pump.

I didn’t want to bother the skinny crew for a weigh-in so soon after the last embarrassment.

I ripped the butt out of a pair of shorts. My legs and butt must be getting bigger. Those were skinny shorts…too bad I didn’t ruin a pair of fat shorts that I’m never going to wear again.

I have been working out like a dog…I am lifting 6 days a week, tomorrow I may take off…or maybe not.

Is that the TRT talking? It may be. Placebo? A placebo doesn’t make me lift weights 5 minutes after getting home from work. I don’t think it made me do legs at 9pm 5 days ago, and again today.

I feel stronger and more alive than I have in forever…honestly, forever. I was in the gym hard for a while after Ev died, but I never felt like this.

Zero recovery. ZERO! I recover like I’m 20.

Russett is down to 234!!!!

I’m at 228, which is great….but Russett is only 6 pounds behind me.

Geezus…What is my goal? Is my goal a solid 215? I have looked great at 215 in the past….205….running Victor was about that.
I think 215. That’s 13 pounds plus. I will put on muscle trying to get there…it will get hard…but I know I will see the 2teens before mid February.

Russett is watching his diet, as am I. Lots of protein. Eggs, egg whites, cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, beef, chicken, and pork. Berries, Broc, cauliflower….

I want to live! Live better and longer….and when the pool opens up, and I can tan…I can’t wait.
One downside…I think I look older, a bit. Not in a bad way, I am a dude after all , but my face is skinnier….maybe a few more wrinkles :)

The Quote of the Day

Long Live Living if Living Can Be This.

I love my life….My children are happy. I’m absolutely Fabulous.
I’m going to watch the Sens game with Charlotte, and then I’m going to hit the sauna.

The end
Standard

Positive Changes…

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 2 min read

I last wrote the manblog on Sunday. That night I enjoyed 3/4 of a bottle of wine and 2 slices of pizza. I have not had a drink since, not tonight either, once I’m done writing this I’m getting in the sauna for a cycle.
Sunday, we picked up Charlotte’s Xmas present, a boston terrier. It’s crazy cute and is the icing on the cake of her new happiness.

Since Sunday, I’ve taken 2 shots of TRT, Monday and Wednesday. I’ve lifted Monday, Tuesday, and today (Thursday). I’m feeling stronger and more solid. I bought a new pair of work pants, my fat pants were falling off me, and now the skinny ones are also. I’m into the 220’s.

I want to lift constantly…I always have the energy to put in an hour of heavy lifting. The “personal trainer” has directed me to stop the fasting and hit the high protein, which I’ve done. I realize that fasting is raising my cortisol, and that’s the last thing anyone needs, and certainly not a 50-year-old dude.

The not drinking may be helping, but the weekend starts tomorrow, and I intend to have a drink…or 2…after I lift or run.

Running is next on my to-do list.

It will be 30 days before I hit max testosterone levels. I have no idea what to expect.

….And now….The Weather….

TBag is down to 146, down 6 pounds since December 1st. All without the hula hoop! She is feeling good about herself.

Slab isn’t screwnig around, down to 135.8, and offering a 13″ bicep along with this poem:

A 5am rise to get exercise.
This brought no gym pump
Only a big snow dump
and 2 hours of shoveling outside.

She may not be Keats, but she is better looking and can likely bench more…(If Keats digs himself out)

Jeremy started Tai Chi last week, dropping the average age in the class by 15 years. Jeremy has spent the week staring at an 80-year-old whom he describes as a methodical and confident warrior.

Maybe try yoga, there you can stare at 28-year-old women methodically performing many poses, including warrior…..I may have to get back to yoga!

Jeremy does a lot of adventure travel and has a Gorilla Trek in Uganda on his radar, so cool.

Krista has too much on her plate to diet, weigh in, or much else…just trying to breathe. The occasional donut, maybe.

Russett breaks into the 230’s, Melissa (his gf) is doing his meal prep, and he has been declining McDonald’s at work. Still no measurements, he isn’t interested at this time.

Yours Truly…..I think the TRT is working, I’m able to push myself really hard, and I am fully recovered the next day. It’s impossible at my age…it was impossible at 40!
I saw 229.4 this morning. I’ll see how long it takes to get to 225, 220, and 215.
I’ve been a solid 215 before, that would be wonderful….we shall see.

The Quote of The Day
Whoever is bringing out the best in you, stay connected to them -unknown

Sauna time!

The end
Standard

What to do…What to do…

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 3 min read

Things are moving along here. Charlotte has a tournament in Ottawa this weekend, and it’s a real joy to come home and hang out with her, eat our dinner, and watch a movie. Ave comes and goes, and eats with us if she is here.

The house is great. It’s cleaner than it’s ever been, I’m addicted to vacuuming and washing the floors…strange.

Next up, we choose some paint colors and give this place a freshen up. Finish the trim. I have some hardwood in the basement that’s been awaiting me to do some main-floor touch-ups.

T plus 2
Yesterday I took my second shot of HRT, TRT, Testosterone, Steroids…whatever you want to call it.
.17ml.
Keith Bray brought it up today at the rink, jokingly reminding me that he always joked that I was giving Charlotte steroids as she kept growing and growing during u15.

The idea that I’m taking steroids, as people normally think about it, is false. The amount of Testosterone I have been prescribed to use over the next 4 months is the equivalent of what a huge guy at the gym takes daily. I’m not going to get HUGE. If I lift regularly and eat properly, will I get more muscular and leaner? 100%. Will these things happen as they would for a 20-something guy rather than a 50-something guy? That is the premise.

I also had a conversation with an old friend, her bf was talking about trying it, and she wanted some feedback. There are some potential negatives…and those are still on the table…I don’t know what is going to happen over the next months/years, but I do intend to find out. Right now I can say that I don’t want to stop doing TRT. Might it cause some baldness? It might, and my hair was getting a bit thinner, but there are workarounds for that. Might my balls get smaller? They might, I think they say they may shrink 10-20% in size…I’m saying it outloud…I think I’m ok with that. It is not supposed to affect my mood, although there are some changes….which brings me to another thing Jane and I discussed.

The Placebo Effect.

I told Keith today, I feel more alert. I’ve taken 2 shots, I know I’m walking taller, I carry my head higher…and I feel more alert.

Definitely more alert.

And…at 9 pm, when I got home from the gym, just 2 hours ago….I lifted weights. HEAVY HEAVY.
So if some Placebo effect is giving me the energy to do 4 sets of 10 exercises to failure at 9pm at night, at 54 years old….I’m good with it.

100% I would not be coming home at 9pm 2 weeks ago to lift weights.

I’m saying it right now, the last time I seriously lifted weights was 8 or 9 years ago. I was lifting regularly and drinking twice as often, and I managed to get pretty solid. By the summer of this year, lifting like I am…and I drink 10% or less of what I did then…I will be a rock.

And now…the Weather….

TBag dropped off the hula fitness hoop. Charlotte had a good laugh but also told me this is all over TikTok and Instagram…or one of those other platforms I’m too old to use. I feel bad she is without it.
She also dropped off a loaf of sourdough, which is not in line with my current fitness plan, but I may attempt a sliver. The kids will eat the rest.
TBag has also updated her measurements. An error in her waist bb measurement needed to be corrected as it is actually 37″.
She describes herself as a tree trunk! Did she give me an updated weight? I don’t think so.

Slab has offered her measurements, they seem pretty good….I can see how button up shirts might be an issue. Slab is lifting heavy, managing a 160 1 rep bench press without a spot. Sounds like her critical internals are well protected anyway. She is pushing for a 165 bench and is down to 137.9 pounds!

Krista and Jeremy offer crickets.

Russett has broken into the 230’s, offering up a 239.8. Diet alone>working out>I’ll find out. This week I hope to get him into the hula hoop!

Yours Truly saw 230.2 on the scale. I’ve been lifting my ass off and hope to see the 220s this week. Tomorrow I am eating pizza and drinking Rioja, so it won’t be Monday!

The Quote of The Day

Your GPS doesn’t judge you; it recalculates. No matter how many detours you take, it finds another way forward. Life works like that, too. You’ll make mistakes, but your destination doesn’t vanish. The route just changes.
Mark English, my old neighbor across the street, posted this on Facebook this week.

The end
Standard

What day is it?

By Victor • On • In Evelyn, Family, Weight loss • 4 min read

I took my first injection of hormone replacement therapy today.
.17 ml of testosterone enanthate 3x per week. ChatGPT offers this:
Your Actual Dose

  • 0.17 mL × 200 mg/mL ≈ 34 mg per injection
  • 3 injections/week ≈ 100 mg per week total

👉 That’s textbook TRT and a very reasonable starting dose.

What to Expect at ~100 mg/week (3× weekly)

Weeks 1–2

  • Subtle increase in energy
  • Slight improvement in mood
  • Libido may begin to improve
  • Possibly mild water retention (usually minimal at this dose)

Weeks 3–6

  • Clear improvement in libido and erection quality
  • More consistent energy throughout the day
  • Better mental focus
  • Improved exercise recovery
  • Fewer mood swings because of frequent dosing

Weeks 6–12

Stable testosterone levels with low estrogen issues for most people

Modest lean muscle gain

Easier fat loss

Increased confidence / well-being

It all sounds great….doesn’t it? In 3.5 months, I will do another blood test to check all my levels and adjust from there. I’m hoping to get my total T to around 1000 (20 year olds run 800-1100), from my current 560 (perfect for the average 54 year old guy).

We will see if I gain vs lose weight….

I’ve been upping old man blog posts, I think I’m into June of 2014. Recently, there was a post about Hearty.

Some great memories there. Hearty was a wonderful person and everyone that met him misses him.

The next round of posts I start talking about running. Ev was training for a marathon and I was out there running with her. I used to run a lot in my 30s…a ton. When Ev and I first started dating we went for a run, she couldn’t keep up, I think she quit after a single k. Times would change and I would gain 30-40 pounds and she would become stronger. She was thin back when I met her, but she would put on muscle, have Charlotte, regular 30-something woman stuff I guess.
So it’s the summer of 2014…at poker one of those nights Russett commented about how I mustn’t be able to keep up….and I’ve talked about this before, in posts yet to be resurrected…. that’s a word right there….
The thing was, Ev couldn’t keep up with me. She was in GREAT shape at that time and I was in the 240s…10 or 15 pounds heavier than I am right now typing!
I told Russett, she couldn’t keep up…it seems laughable…..

Lung mets….we didn’t know she was battling stage 4 cancer…had lung mets…she just couldn’t get the air.

It was around this time Ev would break down, cry in front of me for the first time ever…tell me there was something wrong….soon, maybe August.
At this time we are pounding out kilometers, 16-20 a session….she needs to take breaks often to catch her breath while fat Vic is ready to put another 1000 plus strides in….
I’m sitting here shaking my head, thinking about the last two long-term relationships in my life and how much they differ.

Likely why I cried for 400 days straight when I lost Ev and now I’m not sure I’ve been happier in 5 years. Not to say Mel and I didn’t have some great times but as a friend of mine recently pointed out, my time with Mel was an intermittent reinforcement/trauma bond. Lucky for me she was getting slimmer and slimmer on the reinforcement, and I was getting closer and closer to putting her stuff in garbage bags on the front porch.
It’s important to remind myself of these things because sometimes I think I miss Mel….she isn’t going to change…she never said sorry…she never would be, doesn’t know how to be….and if I’m alone for the rest of my life, it’s better than being insulted every….single….day.

and now….the weather…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P5n8YRY6Kw&t=15s

Shall we start with yours truly? Sure.
231.2 pounds, not including .16ml of T
lets do some measuring:
Arms: 16″
Chest: 44″
Waist BB: 43″
Waist hips: 41″
Thighs: 22″
Calves: 15.5″

Geezus…I know I have skinny legs, but my biceps are bigger than my calves!
Tonight I do legs…Oh wait….I just checked, and your calves and biceps are supposed to be roughly the same, which is true. I flexed my bicep to get to 16″.
still…leg day today.

Some of these measurements will go up, some will go down. I guess I’ll check again on Feb 1.
We can review the measurements provided by other contestants!


Krista has a scale…162.2 pounds….she needs a measuring tape…and a tape worm.
Jeremy is trying to gain weight….I’m going to have to drive up there in the summertime and check in personally. Tai Chi? How is that going? Gotta hit the protein, brother.
Russett had the flu, lucky.
Tbag has a tape measure, a scale, and a closet full of cheap workout equipment, and she is using it!
Slab is not happy! I see good things in the future for her and everyone else.

Including me….

I wrote everything up to the above spreadsheet this morning, and the part after just now before bed. I had my shot, it seems to put some bounce in my step. While walking into the grocery store I felt taller and while inside, I knew I walked taller…just the placebo effect?
I’m not sure. I think 8 weeks from now things will be clearer.

I can say this…the day was just a little bit brighter. The house is wonderful these days, and today felt just about perfect. I did legs! I wanted to do a leg workout, and I got it done. And hungry…ya, I ate my protein today.
I think my goal is to get lean strong…try for a 205-210….hard work, but I’m going to try…

The Quote of the Day
Work on Yourself, For Yourself.

I have been giving and giving for so long. I never put myself first….I lived another person’s life….
It’s time to get on with living for me.

The end
Standard

TRT…T-?

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 2 min read

The good doctor has approved me for TRT. I will share the journey.

Where to begin? I had a doctor’s appointment today (2, but we will get to my regular doctor later.)

I’m going to share it all…so here goes…

Total Testosterone 19.4 nmol/L
Free Testosterone 311 pmol/L

Both of these numbers are 100% normal for a 54-year-old man. These days, you don’t have to be 54. You could be 30…you could be 20.

I think I’ll aim for 20, see how that goes, and backtrack if I need to. I figure I have 20-25 good years left, considering my most recent blood test, and I want to be the best 70 year old I can be.

That means staying active with good, strong bones and reasonable muscle mass.

Which brings us to T minus. I’ve been approved for TRT, my order is placed, and I’m pretty sure next week I’ll be starting at some point.

Let’s talk about the “steroid” implication of doing TRT. The regular meat head you see at the gym on gear is hitting 10,000 ng/dL. I’m currently at 560, and I’m trying to get to between 800 and 1000. If I hit 1000, I think they would remove me.

So not 10,000. Not full meathead with balls like raisins. Just a little bump to get me back to 20 years old.

That will have to come with the gym, nutrition, and other good life choices.

Choices, life is all about them.

and now….the weather…

I haven’t bothered anyone for a weigh-in. I wasn’t planning on doing this tonight, but the Canadians are doing so well at the juniors…why not?

Krista purchased a scale and offered 164.8. I think there is room for improvement here.
Jeremy is on the island trying to figure out how to tie a bread knot.
Russett isn’t sure he wants to be famous again, it took years before a search for his name didn’t bring a link to the man blo. I’ve reposted some of the manblog from 2014…russett was under 200 and I was 250.
Image a time when russett was trying to drop weight from 190!
TBag…cleared out the cabinets of anything unhealthy…she ate it.
Slab…things are quiet with slab….I bet she ate a pie.

Since we last spoke, I made a turkey, had fam dinner, made turkey soup, ate leftovers, lifted…twice..hit the sauna, vacuumed and washed the floors….again…I’m addicted…and was prescribed Testosterone.

The Quote of The Day:

But my music
It don’t heal me no more
It got twisted and mangled
For some bills on the board

My new favorite song.
I’m stuck in the best space I’ve found myself in years…and I have no idea what the hell is going on.

I will focus on Charlotte and myself, get us both in a better place….
….I do see a bit of….it….around the edges….I’ll manage it.


The end
Standard

The End?

By Victor • On • In Family, Weight loss • 3 min read

The end of 2025 has been a bright and happy place for me. My household is happy; the kids are thriving here, and we enjoy each other’s company every night.
Last night, after a late practice, Charlotte and I had hot pot in front of the TV, and watched a movie; it was great.

The best news of the year? My blood results landed.
This time last year, my Cholesterol was a slightly elevated 4.6.
In April, it had risen to over 6.
Yesterday—>2.56
My cholesterol is NORMAL.

My blood pressure is down, only slightly high, 10 pounds from now it will also be normal.
The benefit of dropping 27 pounds.

My TRT bloodwork also arrived. It wasn’t as positive. I’m a high normal….which I figured. I have a meeting with the TRT doc on Friday, still hoping to push it through. I think it could get me to 30-year-old levels…and I didn’t mind myself in my 30s.

But I doubt it.

What else is going on around here? The house has never been cleaner, I’ve been vacuuming daily, it takes 10 minutes, hell…I washed the floors on the main twice this week!

I think that’s it, hanging out with the kids, lifting, reading, cleaning…garage is looking good, ready for warmer days.

And Now……….The Weather

Jeremy also is without a scale…I think he went over to the neighbors to weigh in and offered a 186.5, blaming the cuban ice cream.
Jeremy has joined a gym and is looking forward to some clean lifts with 6-8 pound weights, some tai chi, and the sauna 3-4 times a week. Jeremy is looking to gain. I’m not sure if he has lost any mobility due to the brain tumour, the man did get his ass up to Machu Picchu, Russett isn’t getting up there unless someone rolls him!

Krista claims she is getting a scale today and says she needs a goal….ah…there may be something lacking with the plan…or planless.

Slab offers a photo!

This is slab at 138.5, her goal for 2026 is 120s. The 120s is a big 10-pound window for someone that is 5’3″…lets pick a number. The slab thinks 2026 is a bad number, too many curves…but she thinks that appropriate….all things considered.
Oddly, the second person to mention a number to me that day, someone said 2025 was a 9 year which is negative.

It may just be the best ending to a shit year…So many bad years since 2014…but the last month of 2025 was pretty good.

Who we got….TBag! Tbag does not like the weighted hula hoop, she went in search for a better bit of kit and came up with this.

That thing is a thigh master….thing. I did try to get a video of its use, but no go….

She says she feels like she is on a twisted episode of “Sex in the City” and I am Carry Bradshaw. I don’t know what that means….Sarah J Parker did play a role in my all-time favorite movie! Someone…I don’t see any physical similarities…..Deonn?
TBag is aiming for 139 by Feb 9 and currently weighs 149. Now that is a clear goal!
10 pounds, hell, Russett can drop that in a day!

Russett has his new wife mixing his shakes and keeping him on his diet plan. Today he walked on the treadmill and was going to spend 3 hours in the sauna before his weigh-in, which was not taken after the big sweat.

Yours truly came in at 231.4, I did not hit the 220s before the new year. I have been pushing heavy weights, taking creatine, drinking oodles of water, and watching the junk food. If I don’t get TRT my goal is 205. If I get the TRT, 215.
By April 12.
I will spend every extra minute under weights and if I get the TRT I’ll be healing like a 20 years old.

Oh baby jesus, let the god of pharmaceuticals smile down upon me just once!

The Quote of The Day:
As for testosterone, it’s gotten a bum rap. Yes, it has tons to do with aggression but it doesn’t cause aggression as much as sensitizes you to the environmental triggers of aggression.

Robert Sapolsky.

Those close to me see my aggression is at an all-time low. Recent rounds of therapy have done an even better job than those I attended in my 30s.
I understand myself just a little better…and I understand those around me…

The end