Family

Slab has filed a complaint! She has offered up a photo of herself and feels no one else…including me…
has reciprocated…..But I have uploaded a shirtless photo…to suffer great embarrassment…

To make things a bit more even and to ensure the Victor vs Slab competition is truly in check, here are a few photos.

My leg…. lol…

I have skinny legs…what can I say… let’s review Slab’s leg photo

Ok, not fair…I don’t have a stairmaster at home!

Slab did want to know if I had a pair of shorts like she is wearing…she wanted me to put them on for the photo……what? Aren’t those underwear? No, I do not have shorts like that…I can take a photo in my underwear….I suppose. For now, I took a pic in a pair of shorts I haven’t been able to wear in a few years.

And this photo:

This is a large T-Shirt.

L A R G E!
2 months ago I had to stretch the front out on an XL to feel comfortable, and this is a large beer store tshirt. Not some Old Navy get me some nachos large….skinny beer store large.
My XL T-Shirts fit like draperies.

Slab…while we are at it, in the thick of competition…I did back and biceps tonight….

Vascular….I’m getting there and by the end of the month…less than 3 weeks away, I expect to be out of the 220’s.

I know…. it’s early…I could fall off this wagon…but I won’t.

I had less than a bottle of red wine all last week. I am drowning in stress this week, and although I have 5 bottles of whiskey in the cabinet and several beers in the fridge…I came home to drink water and lift heavy weights.

I may not live another 20 years, but if I don’t, I will die trying….hell…30 years…..

No weather tonight, but I see plus temps in the forecast. I can not wait to get back at the Cobra, get that car painted, and enjoy every minute of it and my time. I’ve never taken any money out of my house, but I’m considering a refi….get a little pocket money to wave off the post-ex financial crisis. Hell, I almost pulled some to help her out recently, thank Saint whoever for not letting me pull the trigger on that one.

I only get photos of Russett when his GF or one of the poker guys snaps a sneaky one. Jeremy assures me he has gained weight, TBag has had cake, Hot Tub is powerlifting makeup, and yogajenni is stretching herself thin! I will get an update from everyone this week and try to post before or…after Charlotte’s away weekend.

What else…I had a great weekend, Charlotte had 2 games, I had some great company, great music, laughs…watched movies, the Super Bowl with Charlotte on Sunday….

You know what….I was frigin happy….there are a lot of things I don’t know…But I do know how to enjoy my time….Mine.

I’m considering another round of higher education also…I think a BSc Architecture is calling my name….you only live once. We shall see.

Why is my leg so frigin white vs Slab’s?….I need a tan!

The Quote of The Day
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.
-Havey Mackay

I wake up every morning to a new day, casting off everything from the day before and starting fresh….may your tomorrow be wonderful

Hot yoga Thursday…a reminder that I haven’t had sex in months…nothing like being in a hot, sweaty room with 40 women to realize there are some events from your past you miss….and not just the hot yoga.

How do I feel about my recent abstinence? I’m ok with it. The ex had used my lack of abstinence at the end of past relationships against me, 1 other thing to bring up nearing the end of a bottle of prosecco and a bourbon or 2. Yes, in the past, when lonely, I was very quick to find a cure.

I have never, ever, had time to explore loneliness, and I’m not now either. I’m not lonely or alone.

First, I have Charlotte. She is probably leaving in 2 years for university. At this time, even if she went to Carleton, she would want to stay on campus. I would want that for her. The experience of being young and free. Charlotte and I are enjoying some time together daily, something we haven’t done outside of drives to the rink.

Next up, I have work. I have taken care of the kids for…..ever….and it is isolating. I really enjoy going to work every day. I wish I had done it the past 20 years; I certainly would be in a better place now.

Last, I have friends. Old friends and new. Tbag and Shortstuff came over last night between dinner and hunting rich men at the casino. We enjoyed a drink, not SS as she doesn’t drink, and talked about all sorts of things…which I will return to.

So….SEX. I’m not sure what is going to happen with sex….I could have sex tonight….I could have had sex any night I wanted to…but I haven’t.

Is it that I’m not ready….no.
That I don’t want to….no…trt wakes me up a few times a night to remind me of my need for sex…I don’t know what triggers that, maybe lack of sex, but I don’t remember this being the norm pre-trt. Honestly, there was a 5’11” model at hot yoga, and if she had offered an invite, I would have crawled on a mile of glass to have a go.

Why no REX? I believe I’m exploring being alone a bit deeper than I ever have, and having casual sex would ruin that. I would have a parachute to get me out of the expedition to become a better me.

I have had straight-up invites from women I have never met to be a casual sex partner. At this time, I have declined.

I am trying to engineer the best version of myself. I am trying to figure out and correct my weaknesses, build my strengths, be stronger, more mindful….happier.

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And Now….The Weather…

Russett has put up an impressive number after his cleanse.

The prospect of taking a double ender will get you looking your best in a hurry! The event left him ravenous, and found him at Kettlemens, crushing not 1 but 2 sandwiches. That and still in the 220’s with 5 pounds of bread and deli meat, enjoying the spacious confines of his cleared digestive track.

Tbag has offered up 143.6 pounds for a total of almost 4 pounds lost since joining this punishment. She enjoyed a glass of red wine here last night…it takes her an hour to put down about 4 oz of wine and left for the casino buzzing….gentlemen…this is a cheap date! It was great to see my old friends, and I hope to have more drinks at the table and around the pool with my friends in the future.

Krista, Hot Tub, and Jeremy have not offered any updates….I haven’t asked to be fair, hopefully the next blog is full of weight loss/gains, and fun stuff from these 3.

Yogajenni wants to enter the fray. Unlike everyone else here thus far…I don’t know YJ. She has offered up some measurements, which I will add shortly, and a weigh-in, 160 pounds at 5’1″ with a goal to lose 10 pounds. She has a 7-day backpacking trip planned for September and is hoping for a bit of a body transformation to ensure she has the muscle to carry 50 pounds for a week.

Yours Truly saw 223.8 this week. I’ve had a huge week of stairs at work. I’ve lost almost 35 pounds and feel great. I feel that next month’s photos will be a huge improvement…I won’t be in some dumb pose, which will help. I’m 4 weeks into TRT, most tend to think the effects haven’t even hit home yet, maybe another 4 weeks until I really get there. We shall see. I am interested in reviewing what my blood work shows 3 months from now…will the doc move my prescription? I have no idea what to expect… Shortstuff is considering HRT since reading about my journey. I don’t know much about a woman’s HRT path, but I know this: do not wait to optimize your hormones… don’t aim for the low baseline, aim as high as is healthy. If you are waiting, you will be playing catch-up. If you are happy with the lowest level, you will not be the best you have been, or could be again. I am still trying to sort out sleep…is TRT the issue? Do I just need more time for my body to adjust? We shall see. I am not willing to add anything to fix that, a peptide, at this time.

The Quote of The Day
Finding an answer that happens to fit is not the same as finding the right answer – David Thomas

On the way to hot yoga, Charlotte told me she remembered running around the 4 corners of our studio, jumping on Bosu balls…I asked her if she remembered mommy being there… and she said a little.
Charlotte is changing, becoming leaner, more beautiful. I told her Ev would be very proud of her as I held back my tears, pulling into the Oxygen parking lot. Charlotte didn’t realize the importance of her mother at that time…so the memories fade.

What do we have….Thursday. Tonight, I hope Charlotte and I can make it to hot yoga at Oxygen. A little stretch is just what I need right now.

At hot yog,a my mind will go way back….I will think of hot yoga rooms of the past.

I am going to talk about Mel, maybe for the last time in a while. I have had to listen to trouble about saying I miss her in the past few weeks, which is not fair to me. Some say I shouldn’t say that here in case she reads this….she doesn’t. Again, I try to write everything I feel, think, dream….here.

To find that photo of Russett and I on the beach I had to scroll through years of Facebook memories. Hiking trips, vacations, Italy, St. Lucia, Mexico…Concerts, poolside rest days at home…I had to look at everything to get back to 2018.

Mel and I had a lot of great times. To be totally fair, she was great to Charlotte for a long time. Things just happened, and we grew apart.

In the beginning, I think we were both a bit messy. She was medicated, and I was a disaster…missing Ev and way too deep in the bottle. It took a while for both of us to find a balance…and we did find it. I think St. Lucia was a really good place for both of us, mentally. It’s too bad I wasn’t taking better care of myself then…and I was still a worrier then. I take medication for my anxiety now…which, if I had taken it then, I think would have been heavenly for the 2 of us.

Yep, I tell it all here….

The balance after taking the medication, I think I wanted our relationship to work more than she did. She was really stressed out at work. She didn’t have the cycles to take care of Charlotte the way I wanted her to, and the two of them grew apart. Mel and I started growing apart also.

For the record, in October and November, Mel was trying to talk to Charlotte more; she was trying…

I don’t want to disparage her 100% on that front; she had a lot of stress, and although I tried to help, I obviously wasn’t doing the things she needed. We both gave up on it.

So here we are…my plan to live in this house until the kids are done secondary school, sell it, move into Mel’s place, and enjoy the funds together is over. I am developing the new plan…I’ll stay here…work and try to get something reasonable in place.

I think it will be good. Right now, I have health and happiness on my side, something I hadn’t figured into my plan with Mel.

Anyway…that is it for Mel for a while…we will have some court dates in the future and I will revisit her at that point.

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Dancing in the kitchen is a thing here. I find myself doing it between sets, working out…while cooking…out of the blue…I dance.

Back to listening to chill vibes in the house…I’m happy.

The past reminds me that dancing in the kitchen is a good space. I may be alone, but I’m happy. This is the longest I’ve been alone alone in my life. Yep….the longest… I should have given it more of a chance in the past. I’m fitting into it better. I have never really been alone…in my life…

When I lost Ev I dove into the bottle…and I surrounded myself with people.

Now I’m sober…I drank a bottle of wine last week…I will likely buy that same bottle tomorrow and sip on it over 2 days. Maybe a beer…I just don’t need a glass of bourbon or whiskey every night, not at all.

I dance in the kitchen sober….

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And Now…the Weather…

Exciting stuff…first…I think the man blog pool party is evolving into a real thing! There may be a band! I hope it happens, my house is looking great, and I hope to get the backyard set up as nicely as the ex had it in the past.

Next up…A new contestant!

Hot Tub will be keeping her identity private. She has been lifting for about 8 months now and will be updating with measurements, including weight, shortly. HT is a great old friend of mine, and I’m happy to have so many of my peeps here taking part in this. Tbag is planning to stop by for a drink on Friday, her and a friend are heading out for dinner, and are planning to stop in on the way.

You know what….I’m blessed to have great friends.

We could use more participants…maybe old 1-legged Glen would join again, he was down 50 pounds last time….Shamu maybe? There must be more out there looking for a little comic accountability!

Slab is hard at the gym, she sent a photo on the stepper!

I think I sucked her into a 1v1 challenge to see who could get in better shape…one of us is going to have regrets, and I hope it isn’t me!

Krista is off to visit her team, I hope she can get on track when she returns.

Russett gets the tube tomorrow…he played poker last night, probably ate cookies, and today needs to start his cleanse. I hope he hits 220 so we can get some measurements. I also hope his tubing offers an answer to his issues which are not serious and easily treatable. Luv you bud.

Jeremy Chi-ing on Manitoulan.

Tbag is stopping in on Friday. She told me I should post a photo in the exact same pose as the beach photo….and I considered it. I realize that lighting and the way I am carrying myself might not be the best….exposure…to present, but I’m sticking with what I’ve posted.

Yours Truly saw 224.8 on the scale this morning. I have climbed 18000 stairs over the past 2 days. My legs are like concrete light posts at the moment. I have been told by a few people to forget about looking like I did 8 years ago in that beach photo. I get it, although I feel like that photo was taken this year, it’s been 8 long years. The thing is….I may be more muscular now. I wasn’t training this hard before. I wasn’t eating clean. I wasn’t sleeping right. Most importantly, I was drinking. Yes, I may never look as good as I did 8 years ago. The thing is, I will look good for a guy my age……and I have not been this healthy since I was 35 years old. I feel great.

I am going to try to track down how much I weighed at the beach…

I found this image of me from the past. The guy on the right, at that moment, was 226 pounds. I am 2 pounds less now. I can fit into those shorts, but they are tight. The t-shirt, no problem…The issue with both, I’m more muscular!

I will continue to be healthy and live a good life for me and the people who love me.

The Quote of The Day

The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams. – Oprah

I will live the life of my dreams, whatever dreams may come. I had a dream life; it ended, and I am making a new one.