Monthly Archives: April 2014

I lasted one hand at poker last night…I really did not want to go and shouldn’t have but I had already signed up to pay for the egg rolls.

Maybe if I had worn shorts I would have lasted longer…

On the bright side I’m back in the 230’s at 239.8 today…it may not be much but I squeaked in there. This week we did something new..

The 1st annual Wednesday Night Poker makeover contest.

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Win a Makeover

Here we had to give the man a shave…no easy task. A haircut…

…we added eyeballs…

The outcome looks pretty good! To be honest I’ve never seen Wheels looking this good.

Well…I only saw him for a moment, the entirety of my Wednesday Night Poker experience this week.

Maybe it was the shorts…maybe it was the lack of food, saving up calories for the egg rolls…maybe it was saving up calories for the egg rolls but having a few beers on an empty stomach with my neighbor before poker…

Now I think we are on to something… There is always next week.

Later today some Cobra guys are coming over to the garage to grunt and scratch while talking cars. Should be a good time.

The Quote of the day:

There’s nothing nice about a Cobra, it’s stripped down to the essentials – a big engine, a small car, and four wide tires trying to keep the whole business on the pavement. It’s loud, smells like gasoline, and shakes, shudders, and bucks. It makes your arms tired and your feet hot. You nearly crash about once every ten minutes. It’s so damn wonderful you can’t believe it.

Automobile Magazine 2004 Maybe I’ll go for a drive today…

Beauty day kids, get out there and soak up some sunshine!

It may never end…ever.

at 241 today, it means nothing.

Poker tonight, likely eat 10 egg rolls. Punish myself.

The plight of man, this man anyway, is to be fat… I’ve been considering running again, the gym, amputation… There has to be some easy way to lose weight…

slip sliding away

It simply isn’t easy…I like my lifestyle. A free spirit at my age… har har har Beagle…the Pirate

Parker…the beat boy

Me… Fatty McFatterson, super hero Things could be worse…of course…

Tonight I do believe I will drink beer and eat egg rolls. The joys of life.

43 years old, playing poker through the night…eating junk food and swilling ales…it’s the real paleo diet… Anyway, another day another pound…likely up. Up up and away like a super hero…

The quote of the day:

He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.

Friedrich Nietzsche

I’ve managed stand, walk, run and climb…I guess that just leaves dancing and flying… Another beauty day…going to be some kick ass flowers in May if this keeps up.

Cheerio

Easter long weekend over…and the sugar detox with it.

Can I be blamed? It’s above 15 degrees all weekend, sunny, the neighbors are out… I may have had a few beers…

And the weight? 243! Right back to where I started!

Well the ’diet’ begins again today. The last diet phase really started to go bad Friday morning, I jumped on the scale and hadn’t lost anything. If my memory serves me correct I had gained weight…Just eating meat!

The stuff likes to stick around, I was walking around with a side of beef in me…

Friday night, order up some chinese food and a couple beers and Saturday morning I had lost weight! That means the eggroll diet was back folks and I had a cheat weekend.

I think tomorrow I may go back to the gym, goodlife this time around, and try out the old wrist. It’s been feeling much better now that I’ve given it some heal time.

The goodlife has opened up a new franchise, seems to me that they would like to bury the competition. I do feel badly for those that own franchises in Snap or Anytime, even the local Plyomax will not be able to compete. There will be 2 streams, the expensive and the ultra cheap.

Fit4less by goodlife is offering monthly memberships for $10 a month. 50 pieces of equipment, free weights, and dumb bells to 75 pounds. All but the biggest guys will find that more than enough.

Not only that, for $20 a month you get the black card membership…You are allowed to share it with friends and family and it includes unlimited tanning!

It’s crazy! They’ve got more than 10 of them already and I expect every end of the city will have one soon enough.

I’m still going to give the Athletic Club a shot when it opens nearby next year…it’s worth a try, an elite club maybe?

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I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. For those that did not I offer you this photo of the easter bunny. It’s like the easter bunny and a captured squirrel in one image….

Looks friendly but I have my doubts! The Quote of the Day:

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

Robert H. Schuller

Looked for an Easter quote and this one didn’t have the word Christ in it.

Easter isn’t just for the Christians kids, it’s a day of second chances…14th shots at it too as I start my diet yet again…

Diet, sorry…I attempt not to eat a bag of chips just before bed is a best description for what I’m doing. In other news, Parker is over 250 and Beagle flirts with 200…I’m not doing that bad!

Cheerio

Wow…dumb…dumb dumb dumb…

It’s a miracle I got out of poker with money in my pocket last night, but miracles do happen, up $90.

No carbs makes me forgetful, stuuuupid, slow, ….lazy. Wait….I’m all of those things with carbohydrates….

Left for poker without my phone…couldn’t focus most of the night…although I did pull a 23 hour day yesterday, we played poker until 3 am. Not bad for a 5:30 pm start…

9 and a half hours of poker…2 litres of water….2 coffees…a pack of sugar free gum…and 12 meat sticks.

Load those 12 meat sticks up with 3 eggs and 3 slices of bacon, 2 bowls of meatball soup, some cheese, and a handful of veg…fatty is going down!

Day 3 of the sugar detox sees me at 237.8 pounds. I’m down 5 pounds in 3 days.

Imagine I’ve only talked about dieting for 4 months and once I get on with it I lose weight…and I’m not even dieting…I’m eating all day…at the expense of my kidneys of course…the cavemen died early………………………………………………………………………………………………………… of kidney failure.

wheels is back!

Sorry to all the children that are now hiding under the bed due to the look of the image to your right folks but you heard it here first…wheels is back!

Just another beautiful face at the poker table?

This guy and Jaime are going to battle it out on the runway and in the forest…although I think wheels is more interested in bigger mammals…I’m not sure a face squirrel will make do.

Gone for 7 months getting a new ass sewn on and he is ready to work it!

I’ll wait until future posts to track down interesting photos of the wheels…right now I believe this image speaks for itself.

We really should consider a Wednesday night poker beauty pageant…If this group ever walked down a city side walk together…we’d clear the streets…mugly bunch…slim too!

Miss Poker America

Did I just say I wasn’t going to track down interesting images of Hearty? I lied…it happens… Anyway, another great night of poker, lots of laughs, monumental card drops…

Tired old men.

So far I have not lost at poker with my shorts on…this year…let’s hope the temps hold up, it was a chilli ride home yesterday.

I might not have made it if it wasn’t for a dozen extra spicy meat sticks keeping me warm…burning from the inside out…

That will not be pleasant at some time later today…

One last tidbit of fat man news…Beagle was into the 200’s again…Too many stops at the golden arches? He claims to have this back under control.

Parker…I’m betting if he gets on the scale right this minute…248. Keep in mind this man weighs in wearing his birthday suit so it isn’t something accomplished at work.

The quote of the day: When Miss Philipines was asked would you rather be more smart or more beautiful…

“Well, I’d rather choose to be beautiful, um because, to be beautiful it’s natural. But being smart you can learn… you can learn, um a lot of things… a lot of things from the experience… you can learn from a lot of things being smart.”

Now I know what my problem has been all these years…

Is the snow gone for this spring kids? I certainly do hope so. Keep warm…stay frosty!

I managed to lose 1 pound yesterday.

Day One of the sugar detox: 242 pounds -1

I had expected better but maybe I won’t see a 2 or 3 pound loss until my body hits ketosis…the state where my body starts burning fat for carbohydrates…

I ate plenty yesterday, almost all meat. Bacon and 3 eggs for breakfast, meat sticks throughout the day, I likely had 8 of them at 200 calories a piece, a bag of beef jerky and a bowl of coconut curry meatball soup…I made a pot of this up before noon…good stuff. Oh…I managed a cup or 2 of raw veg too, carrots, broc, cauliflower…the usual.

I attempt the same today.

No bon bons, no booze. It won’t be easy with a plate full of muffins from Treats staring me down on the counter.

Visually stunning….

Am I in the group of the fattest guys I know???

Maybe…looking around we are all about the same level of…well…out of shape. Now some of us are in this condition in our 20’s.

This does not bode well for the future gentlemen.

You’d think hunting face squirrels would lean you out a bit…buggers must be hard to catch.

I had a big day yesterday…I drove the Cobra. The last part I needed to patch up the transmission arrived, installed, and the monster started right up after 8 months of sitting in the garage. I wish I hadn’t started the body work now as I would just drive it as is…anyway, still a beauty.

I had the misfortune of watching Pompeii…Now I usually look up reviews on IMDB, check a films rating before watching it, but you know what…that’s ruined now. IMDB gave this donkey show a 6.3???

I had to fast forward through the last 20 minutes of the movie…I actually gave up with 5 minutes left…I don’t know if the main character and his lady friend made it to safety or not…

I like to imagine they didn’t…which is why I decided just to turn the movie off…sweeter dreams…

job done.

A trip out to Capital Dodge on the weekend. I was surprised to see a few things…squirrels shirt topped this list…

I did notice that Scott had gotten a little off the top…a trim. He hasn’t lost an ounce though. There are salesmen walking all over the lot while he putts around in a golf cart.

If I was staring down at a pants tag that read something like 44-32 I might want to go for a stroll around the lot now and again.

Just saying….

The guitar was going swimmingly but I may have closed the patio door on my finger last night…hard to type and I bet impossible to play.

I think I was punishing myself for sitting through that movie… The Quote of theeeeeeee Day:

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”

― John Steinbeck

Well John…it was 22 degrees yesterday and today we expect to see snow… Go fak yourself…

Try to stay warm, murder is not an option neither is suicide…the sun will be out again soon enough. Cheerio

Who’s been procrastinating on losing weight for 4 months? Me?

Whaaaat?

Okay okay…today I start a sugar detox. A fancy name for eating healthy really. No bon bons, no booze, no bread.

I can eat meat and veg…imagine that…hardly what you’d think of as a diet, more like eating right. No cookies. But bacon is okay.

I’m at 243. typical fat just turned 43 kind of guy. Screwed up knee, surrounded by other fat guys, drinking beer, fooling around, the typical man child experience done right.

On Saturday I turned 43, had a few rum and cokes and a couple of laughs, woke up Sunday morning without a hangover…a gift from sweet tiny baby Jesus????…I’ll take it…

Anyway…I’ve been fatter…I’ve been quite a bit thinner…and if I can stick to the sugar detox for the next 15 days I figure I’ll lose 10 pounds. easy peasy. What’s 15 days?

I’ll attempt to sign up a couple fatties for the event, we shall see, sign up form below…

As we know I’ll likely poke fun at those around me…plus I do like to offer up my opinion on whatever comes to mind…not much. and let’s not forget the national news service CNN.

Just like High School

I know it’s tough to run a big media outlet like CNN. but someone should review these things.

Thousands of American’s are going to leave NY heading south and end up in Delaware thinking they are headed for Cape Cod.

ahhh…not safe…

Lucky for me the media offers up hundreds of these, lots of fun. I miss watching CNN, the gripping drama… Okay, day 1 of the sugar detox. Fak…

The quote of the day:

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new. Sammy Hagar

Look at that, a Sammy Hagar quote…the tiny itty bitty baby Jesus smiles down on us today. 22 degrees kids, raining…time to run the streets nakety!

I did not make it to 235 this week. I gained weight, I’m at 243.

Birthday cake for my baby Charlotte, chicken wings and chips and poker, hot dogs, junk food. beer…. All these things are life at the man blog…but I really do need to punish myself.

My birthday is April 12, I’ll be 43…

On the 13th I start the 21 day sugar detox…shortened to the 18 day sugar detox just because that’s how many days are left in the month.

I hate the sugar detox but it works.

so other than birthday dinner at Zizi’s which should put me up to 245, mother* & % &^ $*….

I’ll keep you posted. As my diet partners are fattening up I will attempt to find new victims, almost every guy I know could stand to lose a few…

Yesterday was a good day for dieting… The beer diet!

A buddy of mine stopped by with his cobra, a risky spring drive for sure.

AC Cobra

I hope to get mine rolling today, my driveshaft is ready for pick up. A quick install, give the engine a few spins to get the fluids rolling, then maybe I’ll add the fire and get my neighbors back on their toes.

I’m not dying to be driving just yet, the roads are terrible until the rain washes away the winter remains. It’s a high horsepower marble race before that.

The guy is trying to talk me out of painting it this year…better to make hay while the sun is shinning I sup- pose…we shall see. I’ve already started the bodywork, I’ll have to complete it to near paint to drive it…

The weight…239.8. Back in the 230’s. My goal this week is 235. Have a said that before?

Poker tomorrow night…the infamous poker night is no good on the diet. I believe Derek, aka little Tyson, is bringing jerk chicken…suitable.

No gif today sadly. Too much on the go to edit 50 frames for 3 seconds of entertainment. Tomorrow I promise.

Yesterday I went low carb, outside of 4 beers which come in at 2.6 a piece. I likely had less than 20 carbs yesterday. My plan is to do the same all week…

My wife is about to attempt something from beach body… Like this woman needs to be on a diet…She works out more than anyone I know…I’ll keep you posted.

There are muffins on the counter, they spoke to me hard yesterday in multiple tongues..it was not easy to resist. I think I decided to go to bed before I was ready just to get away from their tiny little voices.

The quote of the day:

I don’t enjoy good food. I don’t enjoy flashy cars. I don’t care if I live in a dump. I don’t enjoy good clothes. This is the best I’ve dressed in months.

Jack Kevorkian

That my friends is a camp I do not want to be a part of.

Not the sunniest of days but hopefully the rain gets the rest of this snow off our lawns! Cheers.

Looks like I was on a man blog vacation last week. It’s just that I spent most of my time outside doing my best to soak up what little sun there was.

Strangely I really didn’t diet at all last week, I ate piles including a trip out to Agave on Friday and I think I may have had 2 dinners last night…

Today. 241. Not bad!

I’m going to stay off the carbs this week, see if I can’t get down 5 pounds.

The most interesting thing I dealt with last week was cancelling our Plyomax memberships. I dug out my carbon copy of the contract and noticed there was a bit of important information missing from it. The kind of information that the Consumer Protection Act says gives me the right to get out of my contract. As simple a thing as the end date on your contract…should that be missing. gives you the right to cancel any time within your first year.

Here is a picture of my carbon copy of the original(pink) and the original(white) that Plyomax staff sent me af- ter I submitted that mine was missing the period end date.

One of these things is not like the other….

Seems a bit strange to me that the end date exists on the white form but not on it’s carbon copy…how does that happen? Anyone…anyone…beuller…beuller…beuller…

No big deal though…the contract isn’t signed in the designated Plyomax associate area, it doesn’t provide the total number of payments, it is missing a few bits of info here and there.

It’s looking pretty good for my no problem cancellation…

Beagle was out to the Agave with yours truly…his man diet seems a bit stronger than mine. He was driving so he didn’t partake in the extra 100,000 calories provided by delicious alcohol filled beverages.

Russett vs Derek II

I had such a good time at poker last Wednesday I’m going back to it. The battle of the ages folks.

Reports say that Derek may not remember the entire evening…might have been the tumble into the fish tank…might have been the tito’s…

A great time all in all, tons of laughs!

No word on Parker’s continuing efforts, soccer will start soon though, that might get him down into the 230’s.

I do plan on making an honest attempt to lose a few more pounds this week…we shall see…I may even try a one legged run…baby jesus!.

Quote of the day….

“This is your moment. Celebrate the pain.”

-Seen on a marathon spectator sign

I’m thinking it might be easier to carry the sign than run the race.

Looks like a beauty of a day ahead of us kids…get out there and soak up some sunshine!

It’s been a big week…

I’ve grown…mentally and physically…mostly physically!

Up 2 pounds…many egg rolls on Wednesday night at poker. Took home $300 though! There may have been a skirmish at poker…a Tito’s vodka type event.

You Can Dance…

We’ve seen this before…usually in movies…

Once in a while one of the adult silver backs eats too many berries and flies a bit out of kilter. This may have happened in the hours between midnight and 2 am on Thursday morning.

Not only did the old bugger fall in and out of alcohol induced coma several times…he won 20 hands in a row with one eye open and managed to crawl out of a $200 debt…

Amazing. This stuff makes National Geographic what it is…

Dinner tonight at Agave to celebrate the birthday of the beautiful wife. Should be fun!

In other news I only have one gym membership…no more plyomax.    And I only had to read the entire consumer protection act… geez. Oh well.

Next week we go at the diet again. My goal this time next week is to be at 235.

This will be done almost entirely with diet alone…I have one leg and a messy wrist so no running and no lifting…maybe I will break out the bike!

Quote of the day:

something from Oprah perhaps…

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

There it is an Oprah quote on the man blog.

Sun is out, rain is going to wash this white stuff from our grass. Enjoy!