What do we have….Thursday. Tonight, I hope Charlotte and I can make it to hot yoga at Oxygen. A little stretch is just what I need right now.
At hot yog,a my mind will go way back….I will think of hot yoga rooms of the past.
I am going to talk about Mel, maybe for the last time in a while. I have had to listen to trouble about saying I miss her in the past few weeks, which is not fair to me. Some say I shouldn’t say that here in case she reads this….she doesn’t. Again, I try to write everything I feel, think, dream….here.
To find that photo of Russett and I on the beach I had to scroll through years of Facebook memories. Hiking trips, vacations, Italy, St. Lucia, Mexico…Concerts, poolside rest days at home…I had to look at everything to get back to 2018.
Mel and I had a lot of great times. To be totally fair, she was great to Charlotte for a long time. Things just happened, and we grew apart.
In the beginning, I think we were both a bit messy. She was medicated, and I was a disaster…missing Ev and way too deep in the bottle. It took a while for both of us to find a balance…and we did find it. I think St. Lucia was a really good place for both of us, mentally. It’s too bad I wasn’t taking better care of myself then…and I was still a worrier then. I take medication for my anxiety now…which, if I had taken it then, I think would have been heavenly for the 2 of us.
Yep, I tell it all here….
The balance after taking the medication, I think I wanted our relationship to work more than she did. She was really stressed out at work. She didn’t have the cycles to take care of Charlotte the way I wanted her to, and the two of them grew apart. Mel and I started growing apart also.
For the record, in October and November, Mel was trying to talk to Charlotte more; she was trying…
I don’t want to disparage her 100% on that front; she had a lot of stress, and although I tried to help, I obviously wasn’t doing the things she needed. We both gave up on it.
So here we are…my plan to live in this house until the kids are done secondary school, sell it, move into Mel’s place, and enjoy the funds together is over. I am developing the new plan…I’ll stay here…work and try to get something reasonable in place.
I think it will be good. Right now, I have health and happiness on my side, something I hadn’t figured into my plan with Mel.
Anyway…that is it for Mel for a while…we will have some court dates in the future and I will revisit her at that point.
Dancing in the kitchen is a thing here. I find myself doing it between sets, working out…while cooking…out of the blue…I dance.
Back to listening to chill vibes in the house…I’m happy.
The past reminds me that dancing in the kitchen is a good space. I may be alone, but I’m happy. This is the longest I’ve been alone alone in my life. Yep….the longest… I should have given it more of a chance in the past. I’m fitting into it better. I have never really been alone…in my life…
When I lost Ev I dove into the bottle…and I surrounded myself with people.
Now I’m sober…I drank a bottle of wine last week…I will likely buy that same bottle tomorrow and sip on it over 2 days. Maybe a beer…I just don’t need a glass of bourbon or whiskey every night, not at all.
I dance in the kitchen sober….
And Now…the Weather…
Exciting stuff…first…I think the man blog pool party is evolving into a real thing! There may be a band! I hope it happens, my house is looking great, and I hope to get the backyard set up as nicely as the ex had it in the past.
Next up…A new contestant!
Hot Tub will be keeping her identity private. She has been lifting for about 8 months now and will be updating with measurements, including weight, shortly. HT is a great old friend of mine, and I’m happy to have so many of my peeps here taking part in this. Tbag is planning to stop by for a drink on Friday, her and a friend are heading out for dinner, and are planning to stop in on the way.
You know what….I’m blessed to have great friends.
We could use more participants…maybe old 1-legged Glen would join again, he was down 50 pounds last time….Shamu maybe? There must be more out there looking for a little comic accountability!
Slab is hard at the gym, she sent a photo on the stepper!
I think I sucked her into a 1v1 challenge to see who could get in better shape…one of us is going to have regrets, and I hope it isn’t me!
Krista is off to visit her team, I hope she can get on track when she returns.
Russett gets the tube tomorrow…he played poker last night, probably ate cookies, and today needs to start his cleanse. I hope he hits 220 so we can get some measurements. I also hope his tubing offers an answer to his issues which are not serious and easily treatable. Luv you bud.
Jeremy Chi-ing on Manitoulan.
Tbag is stopping in on Friday. She told me I should post a photo in the exact same pose as the beach photo….and I considered it. I realize that lighting and the way I am carrying myself might not be the best….exposure…to present, but I’m sticking with what I’ve posted.
Yours Truly saw 224.8 on the scale this morning. I have climbed 18000 stairs over the past 2 days. My legs are like concrete light posts at the moment. I have been told by a few people to forget about looking like I did 8 years ago in that beach photo. I get it, although I feel like that photo was taken this year, it’s been 8 long years. The thing is….I may be more muscular now. I wasn’t training this hard before. I wasn’t eating clean. I wasn’t sleeping right. Most importantly, I was drinking. Yes, I may never look as good as I did 8 years ago. The thing is, I will look good for a guy my age……and I have not been this healthy since I was 35 years old. I feel great.
I am going to try to track down how much I weighed at the beach…
I found this image of me from the past. The guy on the right, at that moment, was 226 pounds. I am 2 pounds less now. I can fit into those shorts, but they are tight. The t-shirt, no problem…The issue with both, I’m more muscular!
I will continue to be healthy and live a good life for me and the people who love me.
The Quote of The Day
The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams. – Oprah
I will live the life of my dreams, whatever dreams may come. I had a dream life; it ended, and I am making a new one.
