The Man Blog Survivor Series

Ok…where were we….

December 17, 2025. This is the first 17/12 I’ve been able to feel for many years.
What have I learned? I appreciate a made bed. I want touch…the way Ev would touch, a push while sitting on the sofa, a hand on me while I drove, to be pulled hard for hugs throughout the day. I wouldn’t mind a day of the week that could be a bit more about me…a half day…and hour? How about 1 day I don’t make dinner, the all-inclusive vacation was next level for me, not taking care of everything.

What did I settle for? It was good at first. She was great sober…me too, to be fair. We had some fun, a few fights, and things settled in. Some great years together, really good years….almost good….

There were always insults, towards me, towards Charlotte…she hated Charlotte. My ex-girlfriend didn’t say a single word to Charlotte for about 5 years. How did I put up with that?!? I didn’t, I asked her to leave 20 times…she wouldn’t. She would badger me, insult me, and blame me for some invented wrong, but she would never change, and she never, once, apologized for anything.

But she will tell you she said sorry, but she didn’t. She would use the term ‘gaslighting’ constantly to deflect attention from her own gaslighting.

She said 100 words to every 5 I said for the past 8 years.
I had enough. I packed her up….

She would not allow me to miss Ev. I was not permitted to grieve, not reminisce. I took down photos, I locked down emotions, and I quietly absorbed her insults towards Ev if her name ever came up.

Now Mel is gone after training me how to let go, not miss, not reminisce…gone.

Ev was something Mel could never be. Not because I loved her bigger, because Ev was bigger. I wasn’t expecting Mel to be like Ev. It’s not that I don’t think there are other people like Ev, there are plenty, everywhere. It’s just that Mel wasn’t one of them.

And now, the weather….

Russett hit an all-time high of 258 pounds, the exact same weight I maxed out at way back in March. Hey, I’m 8 inches taller, but same same.

Tonight, Russett is down to 245. He says he doesn’t want to be included in the man blog until the New Year, so pretend you didn’t see the above photo.

I hit a low of 235 this week

.

The guys were picking on me that I need a tan, time to hit the beach, or the slopes…the slopes might be more affordable right now…we will discuss that another day.

258 pounds. I did blood work about a year ago, and the doctor told me my cholesterol and blood pressure were off the charts. She informed me I was at a serious risk of a heart attack and/or stroke. I took action! Cut out butter, way less ice cream, less red meat…and 6 months later, I did blood work.

My cholesterol was up! Doc told me I have a gene that makes me have higher cholesterol and started me on medication…. said I should have been taking this for years.

….oh shit….medication…why do I do this to myself? The Man Blog. I’ll try to circle back to medication.

So, I talk to a buddy of mine who has a construction company and start working part-time. I still have to get the kids ready for sports after school, make dinner by 4 pm, sort of thing, so Mel can come home, grab and go. Anyway, I needed to be more active, and what better way than carrying a tool pouch and being on my feet all day. That was 258, I’m in the 230’s now.
I worked with Scott when I first met Ev, I used to do weighted chinups while the guys went on smoke break. Scott teased me about those yesterday and I pumped out 2 on the spot, and more today. I may be a little chubbier than I’d like, but I can still chinup 235 and 20 pounds of tools, and twice is just a start.

This weekend I’m setting up a gym on the main floor. I’m going to be the best me I can be at 54 years old, and then 55, and then…

I haven’t had time to worry about myself. Before I started working, I served Mel breakfast in bed almost daily, got Charlotte ready and to school, picked all the kids up after school (on the days Mel’s ex had the kids they still came here after, I watched them until he picked them up after work, and fed them), made them dinner, took Charlotte to sports while mel took her kids to sports. After, I would make us dinner while Mel unwound on the sofa. After dinner, I would rub her feet, lol, seriously, I tried to care for her, hoping she would be better to us.

She would normally have a few drinks….which was okay…sometimes a few more…which wasn’t. These are the nights, twice a week for 8 years, when she would insult me, Ev, Charlotte, maybe a smack if it was an extra great day. This past year, I had enough and would just go to bed; most days, she would let me sleep, some days she would come up and insult me and Charlotte a bit more. Loud enough that everyone in the house could hear…. including Charlotte.

I tried to get her to move out many times….she wouldn’t. This time she was getting ready, I think she was getting close to, and now it’s done. Done, packed everything up in garbage bags, and got her out before she could change my mind, insulting me the entire time. She told me she was wishing I would just die….which is a strange thing to say to a man who considered digging a hole beside his wife and getting into it….not now! Not over this. What an escape!

So what else….medication…for years I’ve been trying to tell people that I’m shy, I have anxiety…they laugh me off…comical. Well, about 2 years ago, I started taking medication for anxiety. OMG, it has made me so much better, you would have to know me and spend time to realize it…ahhhh…I’m better.

I’ve done another round of therapy, discovered a bit more about myself, and I’m ready to have even better tomorrows.

So where are we?

I think Russett and I are going to have an old-fashioned weight-loss challenge. He said he is aiming for 200 pounds! I don’t know, bud. I watched you eat a few slices of pizza tonight, and you seemed happy with them. Sadly, I ate 2 slices while waiting for Charlotte at her hockey xmas party. And dinner….But I think I’m still negative calories on the day.

And as always, an open invitation to anyone looking to be embarrassed into losing weight. I’ll need the plan, weekly photos, and a personal comment.

The Quote of the Day:
Things could be different
That’d be a shame ’cause
I’m the one who can feel the sun
Right in the pouring rain

And that is the return of the man blog.

oh wait! lol. Ave is back home! It’s so great, Charlotte, Ave, and I have been hanging out on the sofa at night, watching shows.

OMG, it’s heaven.

I hope to get all the old posts back up over the Christmas holidays.
And that…..is the man blog.

I love your face.

Thanks today to many people, Malcolm Pool, Nichola. I spent little time with these 2 and they are my friends forever. Heather Harper, Kym Harris, Maureen and Jeff, Yvetter, Mandy, Lori, Shelley, Catherine, Ash, Graziella, Fei, Angie, Joseph Henri, Melanie, Lindsay, Dee, Karen, Theresa, Shannon, Krista, Megan, June, Nicole, Kyle, Jeremy, Julie, Tiffani, Megan, JocelynnMark, Brigida, Naomi, James, Trudy, Liz, Ethan, Jennifer, PJ, Kathryn, Brigitte, and Cheryl, Parker and Paul and the poker guys, Liz….

Almost, if I hadn’t been turned to stone, I would have cried….But I can’t handle another insult just yet.

I’ve been here before, Mel was a lot like my mother, I will get better.