Displaying all posts tagged with paul robson

Lost….

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Lost….

I’m going to write a bit of the man blog today…and then come back and give it a title….so…The headline above has not yet been written in my timeline….

Where am I….I have some great moments….really good.  I live a wonderful life, it’s filled with happiness, Love….I have so much love in my life….amazing children, a great family and a person couldn’t ask for a better group of friends….

Is it a fairy tale…..

Here is a fairy tale for you…Cinderella….seen it yet?  A lovely family have a beautiful child raised in love and happiness until her mother falls mysteriously ill and passes away….soon followed by her father who remarried a less loving woman….her involvement isn’t important…but what is….this lovely child rides off into the forest and meets a man who has also lost his mother….and soon he will lose his father….and they live happily every after….

So….in said fairy tale…where do I fit in….I suppose I’m one of the mourning widowers…attempting to raise my beautiful children in love and happiness……

And that gives me so much joy…more than I deserve…more than many people have…is that my fairy tale…………

I think…and it my sound ridiculous….but I do believe that I try to find more happiness in my every day….after all I’ve lived….than many people do…..

Where does that put me….well…at times it puts me in a terrible place…because in my life happiness can come at a price….guilt….with that comes pain….the pain of loss….

The Biggest Loser

This is what defines me these days I think….it’s what I always come back to…..

I am trying to give myself to my life…..my children….my friends…..and at some point…..I want to be taken by it…..

Away….back to happiness without doubt….without pain……I want to move forward as the person I’ve become…..I don’t want to erase the time I’ve spent with Ev….loving….growing…………

wracking……..

I deserve more than what has been…..I’m better….a better man…………….

why do I have to pour tears here every morning………..why…………why do I have to feel this pain that never goes away…..that ruins perfect moments….wonderful days……..

I hate it………..

time……I need more time………………

A New You

The weigh in….well…I hit the scale at right about 230 this morning.  It won’t be easy this week with soccer, golf and Canada day on the docket thus far….but I plan on being 225 by Friday….and once I publish this blog today I’m going for a run to ensure that it happens……

Let’s start with Seamus, he called in with 271 pounds this morning.  He has lost 14 pounds in a week.  Sadly when you start at 285 14 pounds is easy.  I figure at 265 he will start having issues….the old metabolism figures it out and starts to fight the man weight a bit…..

I do think Seamus will see the 240’s though….his goal is still lower…..

Beagle is at 188.7 pounds after what he claims is a week of living like a teenager…….what is that….twice a day masterbation…..
mcdonaldsanta, sean russett, Victor Wheeler, kevin parker, Paul Robson,the circus in town? the man blog
Anyway, I assume he has been pounding the meat at Mcdonalds rather than making love to tube socks….I hope anyway….

Geez….that’s a bit raw isn’t it….I actually didn’t want that to be a pun…but there it is….

Old trafford is at 175.6 pounds….consumption….and not the variety that leads to weight loss….we will see if Andy is able to drag his butt onto the soccer pitch tonight….so that I might sit out…..

Parker responded to the call for weigh ins this morning without an actual number….I wonder what that signifies….and Boyling….zip….not a word.  I could post some terrifying photo of the 2 of them doing something horrible to their genitalia but alas….instead I post this old favorite….

Kevin Parker, Fat-Man-Dancing

The Quote of The Day

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.
Brendan Behan

I am lost….sadly I am….I try to find myself and that leaves me caught between the man I have become….through this pain….and the man I was before…..through that pain….

I will be the better man…….I will stay this way….even though the easiest path is backwards…..

That’s it….that is today Man Blog.

Thanks….today I give thanks to my good friend Paul Robson….for showing me that my life could be worse.

Bahahahahaaaaaaahhhhhhh…..

Babe….I love your face….I miss you always…..

XO

 

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