Displaying all posts tagged with man chili

2 seconds to paradise…

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I lasted one hand at poker last night…I really did not want to go and shouldn’t have but I had already signed up to pay for the egg rolls.

Maybe if I had worn shorts I would have lasted longer…

On the bright side I’m back in the 230’s at 239.8 today…it may not be much but I squeaked in there.

This week we did something new..

The 1st annual Wednesday Night Poker makeover contest.

man blog makeover

Win a Makeover

Here we had to give the man a shave…no easy task.

A haircut…

…we added eyeballs…

The outcome looks pretty good!  To be honest I’ve never seen Wheels looking this good.

Well…I only saw him for a moment, the entirety of my Wednesday Night Poker experience this week.

Maybe it was the shorts…maybe it was the lack of food, saving up calories for the egg rolls…maybe it was saving up calories for the egg rolls but having a few beers on an empty stomach with my neighbor before poker…

Now I think we are on to something…

There is always next week.

Later today some Cobra guys are coming over to the garage to grunt and scratch while talking cars.  Should be a good time.

The Quote of the day:

There’s nothing nice about a Cobra, it’s stripped down to the essentials – a big engine, a small car, and four wide tires trying to keep the whole business on the pavement. It’s loud, smells like gasoline, and shakes, shudders, and bucks. It makes your arms tired and your feet hot. You nearly crash about once every ten minutes. It’s so damn wonderful you can’t believe it.

Automobile Magazine 2004

Maybe I’ll go for a drive today…

Beauty day kids, get out there and soak up some sunshine!


Lost…not weight.

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Lost at poker again…I need a break…
Hit quads twice, both times paid off and still ended up down…

Wednesday Night Poker. the man blog

Wednesday Night Poker

I know there can be a certain amount of skill in poker…but at Beagles we cast that aside.

Mainly we play Omaha, if we have enough empty seats we play it with 6 cards tossing 2 after the flop…

You will need a boat to win that pot…which is going to be more than $200…

If you think you can bet someone off a 1 out draw…you just created a $600 pot with 3 callers…

Sobriety has nothing to do with it…and that above folks is the game of skill…we play some pure games of luck and it can get expensive…

That’s not the greatest expense in my life though…I picked up the parts needed to get the cobra rolling again…fun doesn’t come cheap.

Let’s talk about weight…mine is up…painfully.  I only ate a handful of peanuts at poker last night…for treats…I did have 2 bowls of chilli.  No beans, pretty reasonable on the carb count.  Plus 4 beers and 10 ish Ozees of The Glenrothes 95.  All in all I’m pretty sure I was under 30 total carbs for the day…

Beagle and Parker aren’t budging.  Skinny Fat Skinny Paul has lost weight since the beginning of this round of the man blog.  He’s so skinny we didn’t even realize he was catching up but I’m told he was within 20 pounds of the monster mass…He is down in the 210’s but I’ve noticed that Skinny Fat Skinny Paul has been doing a bit more late night snacking lately.

Maybe he lost a bit due to the helium diet…we shall see…

Skinny Fat Skinny Paul

Skinny Fat Skinny Paul

Now I’m not sure he is on the helium diet…but if he is going to throw out numbesr like he claims to be at 214…a loss of 9 pounds…and I see him eating gummie worms and jujubes all night…he’ll have to start offering up a morning update.

I witnessed hit gobble a bowl of chilli, 14 gummie worms, 30 jujubes, half a large bag of all dressed chips…and 6 Coors Banquet.

You simply can’t have 2000 calories of the good stuff with 6 Banquets and expect to continue on as Skinny Fat Skinny Paul…

SKS Paul has an entirely different connotation if you remove a certain one of those S’s

It’s the final day in paradise for the gbg today.

fly fly away.  the man blog

fly fly away

In my opinion Andy may want to use his own wings to get him home…I’m seeing some serious getting off the ground issues with that wee plane.

Kevin is drained after zip lining yesterday…I’m not sure that man has used his feet all week!

The resort simply couldn’t offer Arthur enough to stay on…if you want egg rolls you’ll have to see him at the Shoppers Drug Mart.

Vinnie…poor Vinnie…I hope that suit didn’t leave a mark…

I await the scale report from Kevin tomorrow…

The Quote of the day:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
-Hunter S. Thompson

We at the man blog are staunch supporters of Hunter…may he rest in peace.

The beautiful wife says ice rain tonight…let’s hope not…we’ve had enough.

Keep Cool, Stay Warm.


Another day another ????

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What will today have in store for me other than a sore back? Likely not much!

I managed to tile 75% of the kitchen yesterday…I had to leave a section unfinished for access, I’ll get to that today.

I also managed to have ZIZI’s again for dinner…back to back nights  ouch…

I committed the mortal diet sin…Not only did I crush a delicious soup, amazing Zizi’s burger and desert…I managed a bottle of vino too.  A huge dinner and alcohol…that is going to cost me!

Is the diet off?  No…it’s having a short break….

I’m pretty sure none of us are at it right now…no reports from anyone…

Beagle was hard on the tracksuits poker Wednesday and out of luck too…Not sure what his Irish hat cost him but it didn’t seem good.

Out of luck...the man blog

Out of luck…

Lucky no…but good lookin!

Parker is 6 days away from getting on the plane to the Dominican with a few of the soccer guys, otherwise known and the GBG…aka the goldenboys…

A few of their smiling faces have blessed the pages of the man blog…let’s get back to Kevin at the pool bar…

So far signed up we have Andy, Vinnie, Arthur and Kevin.

Let’s imagine a 2 sided balance scale…If Kevin were on one side of it, and Andy, Vinnie and Arthur was on the other….

Well…be warned Sunwing…They’ll be flying in circles…

There is a slim chance I may still do this…I look at it every day.  I also think about being at the pool bar with 4 of the drunkest people in the world…I’m not sure what condition I’d be in myself…and if I had to I think I could carry any of the lightweights back to their room…but it’s been a while since I leg pressed a honda civic…I’m not sure I could get Kevin onto my shoulder…

No Dandruff.  the man blog

No Dandruff

Here at the man blog we do back Head and Shoulders…that and old spice…

I guess we better back Capital Dodge too…they have the best hair.

If you are shopping for a Dodge, Jeep, Chrysler or Fiat…

Well head on over to the West end and enjoy the freak show….

No Pressure...the man blog

No Pressure…



Now I know there have been some questionable images posted here at the man blog…but the one directly to the right….—————————–>>>>>>

This image has NOT been altered in any way…

What???  Inhumane?  No wait…you’re mistaken…he has not glued a squirrel onto his face…

No need to call the SPCA here folks…all is good.

Well I better get to work.

The Quote of the Day:


Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.      – Mariah Carey

I get it…Geez

Well kids…I did break down a shovel yesterday…hopefully not again this year!



it gives you wings…

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Slow night at poker, only 8 guys…makes for a comfortable table.  I did not win any money…not my turn I suppose.

This is not a quiet poker night…this isn’t a bridge game…hell, it’s hardly poker at all.  It was at one time, a cash Texas holdem game, but it was upgraded…Some in between, then Omaha…then pineapple…then pineapple express, or donkey, a game we created which starts with 6 cards throwing 2 cards away after the flop for Omaha…

You want to see some out of control pots…give 3 people at the table a boat, one quads and 1 a straight flush…

We play chase the ace and we play burn…occasionally we try something new.

Something that never changes…howling laughter late into the night that can be heard a block away…it’s a man event, a celebration, a fandango…

I ventured to last night’s celebration with the idea of keeping it low carb…mojitos with stevia…and I wasn’t going to eat…

Fat man snack, the man blog

Fat man snack

Add a bowl of beanless chilli…and the train is off the tracks…

+ a bowl of pulled pork, just the meat

+ 2 pulled pork sandwiches (hey the bun is whole wheat)

+ screw this, I switch from mojitos to track suits at 50 carbs a glass, I managed 2 of those

+ a small ice cream

+ a bowl of shreddies

What?  If it matters I did both practice the guitar yesterday and do some code…those were resolutions too.

Wait…I went to the gym yesterday, I worked my ass off…

You see folks, the gym isn’t going to fix it.  If you consume 6500 calories between 9 pm and midnight you will not be the biggest loser.  I weigh in this morning at 248

I’m okay with that, I’ll be 244 again tomorrow, man weight!

Beagle is still on the diet, outside of the 10 tracksuits he had along with a few pulled pork sandwiches he managed to have an apple and some tuna at work…it’s about balance!

Used to be fat Paul sat right beside me…skinny Paul didn’t have any sandwiches and only drank 5 beers…Skinny Paul may be on to something.  No gym for him, but he may be a bit smarter about the gob stuffing…

Kristers Gudlevskis stoppers

Kristers Gudlevskis stoppers

Next up…my hat is off to Gudlevskis the goal tender for Latvia.  His play made for an edge of the seat hockey game yesterday.

Hopefully it some day proves the test that gets him onto NHL ice….even if just for one game.

The Latvians played a great game…from a country with a population less than Toronto!

It’s Canada vs US on Friday at noon.  It will be a slow day in offices right across Canada.

So I came home after poker and thought I’d watch some TV, my wife is looking for a GPS watch so I thought I’d take a look at kijiji…and low and behold I came up with this…

Santa's lawn mower, the man blog

Santa’s lawn mower

What is that you say?  Well it’s a grass cutting machine.

Who on earth refers to this thing as a grass cutting MACHINE?

Santa is my guess…the north pole doesn’t have much grass…yet…

Today I will not be going to the gym, every other day…lucky too because the legs are killing me!  I’m not fool enough to leave legs out, I start every circuit with squats, might as well get it done…before the tears.

I’ll close out today with a comment regarding a man’s ability to protect himself while drinking…I will tell that Beagle did not suffer a single scratch to his hands or arms when he dove off the walking path into a stone wall.  He blocked any injury to his shoulder, chest, arms or legs using his forehead, nose and mouth.

In fact the bridge of his nose, the section you’d expect to be protected between the forehead and the tip of the nose…cheese grater.  Wow…

Well, at least Beagle has a shot at meeting the pope now…do the research…

The Quote of the Day!!!

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.                                                                                                                           ~Martin Buxbaum

I guess from this point Beagle is all heart…  lol

That’s so rotten I’ll go ahead and apologize…next time I see him…

Above zero temps for the next couple of days…get out and enjoy it!



if only we were so humble…

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Another frosty day in the nations capital, I’m ready to mow the lawn…really I promise to mow the lawn every single day if the snow is gone by the end of the week…Zero chance of that.

Chunk went to the gym yesterday, a wonderful experience as always.  Packed in fact, very little wiggle room for a no rest circuit but I pulled it off.  I also got the opportunity to watch a personal trainer set a rookie lifter up onto the angled leg press machine…the dude was easily my height, in his early 20’s, and maybe 175 pounds, he can bend in ways I haven’t in 20 years…and onto the rack he went.

Now this gym doesn’t have a leg extension machine, they believe it’s hard on the knees…so no leg extensions at the midget max…you will not target your hammies at this establishment…no sissy squats and unless you are under 5’5″ you will not get on the squat machine or the angled leg press

….but you can try…

So I take a moment to see if I’m missing something….maybe my technique on this simple piece of equipment is wrong…the kids only got maybe 300 on it, light weight baby…peanuts weight…but as he folds himself up under it I notice the only way he can get in there is to put his feet close to the base of the machine…this leaves his feet behind his knee by more than a foot at starting position.

…this poor kid won’t be enjoying knees long into old age…and the certified personal trainer standing over him drops the flag for a go…he performs the job…not good.

I’d love to tell you all that I lived a fully healthy day yesterday but there was a short time where the old men on the street got together for one smallllllllll scotch…I did venture over there with water, I mean I just got home from the gym had a sauna and a shower…I needed water…

another chilly drink, the man blog

another chilly drink

I’d like to take this moment to point out that the longest living people in the world have a few things in common…it isn’t food, some eat nuts, some eat bread, some eat cheese, some eat meat…it isn’t alcohol, some do drink, some don’t, some drink wine, some drink liquor…

2 things are common among them…one is regular social interaction and the other is plenty of outdoor activity…sunshine.

I’m just out killing 2 birds!

Next up…Beagles trip.  He is back today but I suppose we should revisit his excursions…  I do know his last night there he got totally wasted and fell off the path to his room into a bush which was hiding a rock wall…I think it left a mark…luckily his faced stopped him from suffering any serious ailment…

So lets do snorkelling and swimming with dolphins today…I mean snorkelling is going to be a cinch…

To tell you the truth I think we can cover both of these bases at the same time, I’ll have to ask you to imagine beagle swimming with dolphins in this next image

I can hold my breath! the man blog

I can hold my breath!

Beagle’s flight home was delayed many hours…but he was lucky enough to find out before he left the airport…that isn’t a terrible wait at the resort.

He should be getting home from the airport any moment and I will get the silver monster update from him today.

Beagle didn’t actually do any of these excursions while on vacation…he did not snorkel or jeep tour or catamaran or swim with the dolphins…You see those ‘trips’ are created for those that can’t sit still…they are the same excursions you go on in Mexico, Cuba, the Dominican…where ever you may find yourself.  I’m not saying a day trip to take in the local culture and history isn’t important…go to havana, see chichen itza…but please leave the dolphins alone…geez…think about it…they’d be in the ocean if you weren’t petting them.  Are you near a reef…snorkle…sure but a jeep tour…for what?  I’ve owned a jeep…there is no room for kids and groceries…it’s over-rated!

Anyway, I like to go on vacation to relax, life inside my own mind isn’t so bad that I need constant entertainment…and it helps me work out the dark spots…

Parker spent family day doing what good fathers do, he took the kids to mont st marie for a day of ski and snowboarding.  He may be fat, but he is a good dad!!  He and the kids are all very good on the slopes which can be a godsend during long winters like we are having this year.

I can’t remember the last time I wiped on a pair of skis or a snowboard, but I don’t think my wrist will handle even the smallest of mishaps so I did not venture out with them…this is what has made this the longest winter for me ever…I simply don’t want to be in a cast again…it cost me 15 pounds in November!

I did manage to do some benching at the gym yesterday though…I pay the price today, I’m lefty for coffee!

I’m also down a couple of pounds, man weight of course…today I weigh in at 245…svelte!  Of course I did eat well yesterday outside of the scotch…eggs and bacon for breakfast, turkey meat loaf stuffed with broc for lunch and chilli for dinner.  I snacked on a bit of yogurt in the evening…seems like a good day…and seeing as scotch has zero carbs I can’t help but lose weight!

No gym today…it isn’t part of the plan…guitar?  You bet…and code for sure, I’m behind on work for a client…totally going to do it right now!

The quote of the day…something many of us could heed:

Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble.
John Madden

For me it’s the skin I’m in…I’m very happy and I’m surrounded by very happy people.  Ya I may have had too many pizza’s…a dozen egg rolls…but I’ve enjoyed it.

Keep smiling…keep warm, stay cool!



if it’s not broken…

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What if it is broken?  What if chubby doesn’t lose the weight?

Chunk went out for dinner on Friday night, ZIZI’s kitchen.  Too good, too much…the food is just too good, it’s not right…  I left double stuffed, I couldn’t even squeeze in a beer after dinner with the street drinkers…well, maybe just one.

My fat pants were at the limit…all my fat clothes are of course…I’m down to the wire on clothing.  I have tons of clothes, super tight rocker type jeans that used to be baggy, slick spandex like T-shirts that once fit comfortably.  I’ve got what appears to be belly tops…I can get them on but you’ll have to wonder why my belly button in showing…

I could throw this stuff out but I dream of fitting into these T-shirts again.  These are Man T-shirts…worn until threadbare.  Sure I could throw out the jeans…I’ve done some of that, but you do have to save a couple of your old favorites to best judge when you’re back to normal…

Normal you say…this an LOL moment…see I just actually laughed out loud, not the mythical lol but the actual giggle.

broken record, the man blog

Have I heard this before?

So…today…Family day…

We shall refer to this as low carb day numero uno.  Day one of an actual frigin diet.

The pain…the agony…why lord…why couldn’t I be a skinny guy fighting to pack on pounds…forcing myself to drink beer and eat pizza…ice cream for desert.  WHY!!!!????!!!!

This is one of those moments where I wonder if all those trips to church as a child were in vain…


 1.   having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth. 

2.    producing no result; useless.

Sounds about right to me…little in the universe makes as much sense to me as that right now.  I can align myself with that for sure…You know what chunk will do today?  Chunk will go to the midgetmax and lift.

No more lifting to build strength…no more 5×5’s to bulk up and hit a new personal best…Oh no!  I won’t do 8 by sets…I will do 12’s…I will do 20’s

I will not take breaks…
I will sweat horribly…benches will be disgusting, people will be sickened…I may even get dizzy…pass out…puke.
But I will do it…the damn gym…

Prunny...the man blog


Okay, in other news…
Beagle flies back today, I’m sure he is up 10 pounds.  There is simply no way he hasn’t gained at the buffet of food and free pouring booze all week.

No way!
Now beagles wife didn’t send me this photo directly…I was able to find it out of the electronic home of spiders…
It appears to be an untouched image of Beagle in Mexico…but I’m no photographic expert…
Anyway, they are back today after 8 long days in Mexico…during this time I imagine Beagle took many day trips off the resort.
Here we have a photo Beagle’s wife must have taken of their ‘jungle Jeep tour’.

Beagle of the jungle, the man blog

Beagle of the jungle

These tours are available at most resorts, sadly it was a tight fit after the brazilian meat swords but they were able to squeeze him into one of the vehicles…

Again…thanks to Beagles wife for what must be an upload to the webs for your viewing pleasure.

I have’t heard from Beagle on how this day of his trip went…lets hope he was wearing bug spray!

Tomorrow…catamaran tour or trip to Chichen Itza…  So much fun…and Snorkelling…That will be an easy one to track down I’m sure.

Parker…King of beers Parker…or is that Life Insurance???  He has been out to the pub every day this weekend…I know because I get the invites…I haven’t made it out.  It’s enough to know the beer diet is working for him without having to witness it.  We shall see how that goes…I did have some success on it myself.

I figure I’ll be able to get updates an the battle of the bulge from everyone in the next couple of days, I can tell you right now that I am the biggest loser…but not the good kind…I’m the loser that didn’t lose the most weight…hell I haven’t lost a thing!

Today… 248…

Let’s move on to the quote of the day:

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O’Rourke

Hard to argue with that.





complaints…I’ve heard a few

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You know…dieting, real dieting…it’s likely not any fun at all.

isagenix…the high wire balancing act between starvation and filler shakes…it’s not my thing…it works yes, but the pain.

The Parker diet…just shakes.  period…see it…the period?  Just shakes for 3 weeks has got to be tough, I’ve never attempted it myself…consider but not yet tried.

Low carb diets are pretty easy, eat lots of meat.  Done it plenty, it works and I don’t mind it…but forever…no.

The sugar detox…it’s low carb really, same as above, just like atkins or the french guy…done em all.

Chubby should be so vain…

Chubby should go to the gym, but chubby did not go to the gym yesterday.  He did eat a reasonably balanced diet…reasonably.

2 scrumptious hard boiled eggs for breakfast, chilli for lunch and home made ‘diet’ pizza for dinner.  Or 2 maybe.

Diet pizza—>high protein pita halved (makes 2 pizzas) 100 cals, 10 grams protein, 3 net carbs // 1 stick pillars pepperoni stick sliced  100 cals, 6 protein, 1 carb//shredded moz 2/3 cup  200 cals, 2 carbs, 14 grams protien//pizza sauce 1 tblsp 15 cals, 1 carb 0 protein.

2 pizza’s is 400 cals, 7 carbs and 30 grams of protein…that’s good stuff

what?  I said pardon?  You smell chocolate on my breath?  whaaaaaat?

Oh oh oh, right right…I forgot…I may have slipped a few chocolate covered almonds into my gob…I had to go to the bulk barn for suckers…valentines for the kids…and  Charlotte likes to pick a few treats…

what’s 15 chocolate covered almonds?

Well kids, that right there is 510 calories per 100 grams…can you give me an Amen!

The good news?  The silver monster I’ve been trying to unsuccessfully crush on a daily basis tells me I’ve lost weight….half a pound…I’m at a slimming 243.4.

That’s right…in the right light…with the right angle…I’m slim…mer….

Our favorite life insurance salesman is down weight! And he is on the beer diet!  All that time I spent in church as a child…you’d think the lord would be better to me than that!  Parker is out at the pub every night having beer while I sit here eating celery and imagining him downing diet shakes.  Kevin puts himself at 243-244 as of yesterday…or he hasn’t been on his silver monster to check in…diet shake avoidance….we shall get to the bottom of that

I won’t even get started with Beagles at an all inclusive…drunk…at the trough…

These are terrible people!

Excellent food Ottawa, the man blog

a must try in South Ottawa

Today is Valentines day!  My super sexy wife and I hemmed and hawed over breaking my diet to go eat delicious Zizi’s Kitchen and drink some vino…it was left to the restaurant reservation gods…they squeezed us in…I’m not to be blamed.

Tonight I will gain 5 pounds of man weight, I will lose it…but first I must pack it on…and pack it on I will enjoying every minute of it…and a fine bottle of wine…or 2…or more!

Zizi’s and have a small amount to eat…drink water and leave satisfied.  But why?

Nope…I’m going to go ahead and punish myself.

I know I wasn’t going to drink anything until the end of the month…20 days…but dinner with the wife does include a bit of wine…some sangria…a cocktail…a beer…

It’s a celebration…why not celebrate!

I promise to start punishing myself again ASAP!

Now…As I mentioned in an earlier blog…I had requested an image of Beagle on the beach via his wife…there might be some issues with that request so I’m going to go ahead and do the best I can with what’s out there on the nets…the webs have things.

man weight loss, the man blog

I have nothing more to say about this…

So here we are, photo one from the depths of the Beagle portfolio…As you can you plainly read, he is slimmer also.

All that meat is paying off!

For those of you that aren’t in the know…somewhere in Mexico Beagle has just coughed up cervesa through the nose…

As far as I know images on the interweb are never doctored in any way, Beagle simple forgot to evenly apply the sunscreen.

Beagle will be back in the land of snow on Monday…but I suppose we could have a look back at his vacation next week…a wee review of the excursions I like to imagine he went on, snorkelling, the pyramids, jeep tour…plus we can get the pictures from the inter web..fun stuff!

Today’s Quote will be from one of our fallen heroes, if you haven’t had a chance…read every thing he’s written:

The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
Hunter S. Thompson

To those of you shovelling today, stay warm…to those of you like me that are going to put the truck in 4 wheel drive and wait until the spring thaw…hammer down.

Stay cool…



a chemical element with symbol He and atomic number 2

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Otherwise known as helium.  I could use some of that…1800 balloons and away we go!

You would think that 2 hard boiled delicious eggs for breakfast, a bowl of man chilli for lunch and a chicken salad for dinner would provide me with the adequate nutrients and negative calories required to lose a bit of the old pounchereeno.  What, it sounds so easy!

No.  Nope, Nada, zip, ziltch.   244 pounds.

Another damn groundhog day!  That’s not right, not right one bit!  Would it be good?  Ya, if I was at 212 pounds right now I’d absolutely be thrilled to know a day worth of food I could balance my weight on.  It simply does not make sense…

Anyway, I have awoken to a new day and today…I hope to lose a pound.  Tomorrow is Valentines day and the beautiful wife and I are going to ZIZI’s kitchen for dinner, a diet break, and the food there is too good to back away from…maybe I can attempt a light meal….and a bottle of red wine…low in carbs better make it 2 bottles!

a meat sword for Beagle, the man blog

a meat sword for Beagle

Beagle has provided some updates.  Many beers of course…

He also went to the Brazilian restaurant and had to suffer the meat swords!  Well…it’s low carb!

The best meal I’ve ever had anywhere was a resort Brazilian…but I am a bit of a carnivore.

I think Beagle will put on 10 pounds while he is away, and if he plays his cards as he says he will he will lose it again in a week…I see Beagle at 175 somewhere down the road…How far we will see…

Of course I see myself at 200 pounds again…har har har…something’s going to have to give for that…I’ll have to hit the gym…

I have requested a photo of Beagle on the lounger for your viewing pleasure, but his wife is ignoring said request, waiting for an opportune time to snap the photo, or is unable to get the image into the frame…

I choose to believe in option C…

I also choose to imagine that Parker in chugging shakes if he is a man of his word…he told me the late night snacking is on…he has been sneaking a slice of ham or a late night sausage…doing the low carb thing…but that meat will hurt your feelings on the scale in the morning.

One more heart break!

Today I will go to the frigin gym…damn you calories.  I haven’t quite made the gym schedule up in my mind yet…let’s hope something comes up in the timeslot I think works best…

I feel lighter already, the man blog

I feel lighter already

So many excuses…a could go with the wrist…sore knee…cough due to cold…

Maybe I just go do a light circuit with no breaks, sweat to the oldies…Maybe a smaller serving of chilli too…

Sadly I did not hit the guitar yesterday…I missed the sauna too but that wasn’t one of my resolutions…I took too much time venturing out to ikea for the last of our kitchen cabinet doors…

Today I will give myself positive affirmations to help me lose weight…my wife says these work so here goes.

You will not be fat today…today you will not point and laugh at yourself in the mirror…no more chunk for you…chubby be gone…

I feel lighter already…

The quote of the day:

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
― Frank Zappa

Stay warm…keep cool.


losing it…not the weight

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You know…it get’s old…244

I’ve been here before, groundhog days.  I hate em!  This one as always is my fault.  I could have been lighter today…a bird soaring up in the clouds…ever so light and fluffy…

Instead I’m a big fat groundhog because I ate a cup of greek yogurt, blueberries and raspberries, hemp hearts and paleo granola…at 9 pm? Doesn’t sound too bad? How about a half pound of beef jerky…low sodium of course…

We have a winner….ding ding ding…the fat guy, yes you…chunk.  Crap.

another groundhog day the man blog

another groundhog day

You want the biggest sin of those foods listed above…try on paleo granola.  I had a look at the bag this morning after getting on the scale.

per serving: 209 cals, 13 grams fat, 16 carbs only 7 of it fiber and 7 grams of the good stuff…protein.

6 grams of the sugar…fak…

sadly there are only 5 serving in the bag which is the same size as a bag of M&M almonds…so I may have crushed more than a single serving last night…the pain.

It’s not like I wasted a day at the gym on that GDay though, I did zero exercise yesterday.

I woke up, had 2 hard boiled eggs, chilli at lunch, and 1000 calories worth of sodium, meat, dairy, berries and grain…it doesn’t sound that bad!

Plus a multivitamin…can’t forget my vitamins. Although some professionals believe that taking the vits ups your cancer risk…most things do these days it seems…

I did manage a short conversation with the Beagle yesterday, all the way from Mexico, plus a chat with Parker.

Beagle is in the grip of the vacation diet…oodles of cervezas, freely poured and served to you pool or beach side tied in with at least 3 visits to the trough per day.  The trough includes all the deserts one can suffer…and that my dear friends can easily make for a bigger plate that the fish stew!

Beagle will be performing certain exercises while he is away…push-ups off the lounger, sit-ups off the lounger, crunches for beer, curling the book, squatting down to the buffet table…so much work…so little time!

My tan fades faster than I put on weight on a poker night while the Beagle bakes…

There will be no poker tonight, a godsend really…food and beer I don’t need!

Parker…he is at 244, the same as me…and says if he sees 245 on the scale he is going back to the shakes…which I believe he will be drinking today if he is a man of his word…but what is one white lie to ourselves.  I believe I will once again weigh less that Parker starting at about noon today…I’m one sauna away!

The only sweating I’ve been doing lately, that super heated ultra humid cedar box…har har har…I’m melting but a bit slower than I’d prefer.  Gym today?  that is no laughing matter.  I could hit the treadmill but I still can’t lift a half pound of cheese out of the refrigerator drawer without pain…the wrist should be immobilized for a week easy…but many a chest pounder would agree…it’ll heal.

Should I , Could I hit the treadmill…boo…I may have to, we will see…

Well that’s it, let’s all raise a glass of coffee to tomorrow not being another groundhog day!  Here here…

The quote of the day…the quote of the day:

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet

Damn you beef jerky…be damned!  Today I defeat you!

Where are those hard boiled eggs…………………………………


dropping like flies…

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Down 3 more pounds to find myself at a hardly svelte 244 this morning.  I wonder if I’ll actually see the 230’s this time around?

So that marks day 2 of the no fun diet.  No beer and no scotch…really I’m more or less doing a sugar detox.

2 eggs for breakfast, deliciously hard boiled to perfection…for lunch Men’s Health chili, and for dinner a huge salad with chicken breast…I did not skip the dressing, I loaded up! …ahhh, I may have crushed a cup…or 2…of mixed nuts also…gotta snack…and a bit of the raw veg but that doesn’t count for much.

Does that mean my vacation weight is gone…I think it does professor…hell what was my low on the beer diet?  I might be there too…

Today I may go to the gym.  I should not, but I may try to pry myself into the place.  My wrist is in ruins but I could do a hop skip and a jump on the treadmill…lazy fat bugger…

Beagle is in Mexico packing it on and Parker does still exist but I haven’t seen an update from him.  On the positive side for Parker I haven’t seen a photo of him on facebook holding a pint so he may still be at it. Today I will try to solve the disappearance of Parker.  Maybe busy selling insurance..cheap cheap if anyone is looking! lifeinsuranceottawa.ca 

While on vacation I did watch a bit of the Tele…we wake up SUPER early, always before the sun, so a coffee and a bit of the news is in the books.  During that time I had the misfortune of having to watch CNN for my news…what a waste of time.

worst news ever? the man blog

worst news ever?

Let’s start with the simplest of things…these people hate Obama.  They spew terrible things about the guy all day long, I challenge you to watch CNN for 30 minutes, they will bad mouth the president.  He is the reason milk goes bad after the expiry date.  If it wasn’t for Obama milk would last forever without refrigeration.

But other than that the news SUCKS!  Seymour Hoffman, toothpaste bombs, bad toilets in Sochi…that’s it.  That is the entirely of what happened in ‘Merica last week.

Now, early in the toothpaste bomb fiasco they did have a specialist on to say that a single tube of toothpaste type bomb would not be enough to compromise the skin of an airplane…scratch him off the news reel…they then had long hairs opening car doors using toothpaste bombs…they had specialists of all sorts telling us the threat was real and really there is no way even a single plane will be left in the air…

Shit…I have to fly home in a few days…

There was an accident on the I95 yesterday involving a drunk driver on a horse and a Vietnam Vet hitchhiker…damn Obama

captain crunch? the man blog


You see, real life no longer even exists in ‘Merica anymore if you are watching CNN.

The great debates of this century come down to whether or not Cap’n Crunch was really a Captain?

Thankfully on vacation rum is never far away.  Now that I’m home I won’t be tuning in to any of that!

Another day…another diet…on the guitar…and studying my code.  My resolutions are in order and the sun is just rising…why am I not in bed!

The quote of the day is:

Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
Paul Simon

Are you talking to me?  I’m the only one here…




5 pounds a day…

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Oh man weight…such funny stuff.

I dropped 5 pounds yesterday, no big deal. 247.2

I’m still monstrously chubby!  If I could only keep the 5 pounds a day going all week…then we’d be getting somewhere.

Yesterday I made a batch of chilli, which became lunch.  For dinner I had veg and hummus.  Lots of each!

The scotch diet is over, getting back from Cuba on Saturday I promised myself 20 days of actual dieting which will, this time, not include beer…no scotch…zero rum…I’ll save all that stuff for March 1st.

I did not go to the gym.  I was going to take a break from the gym as I ruined my recently broken wrist playing winter soccer during the GBG Yurting trip, but I may have to go to get the real weight off.  The thought of pushing weight with this thing doesn’t leave me feeling joyous, it hurts to take a roasting pan out of the over.

Light weight baby!  Peanuts weight!

But I will try to go, hit some sweat!  I did manage to sweat yesterday…in the sauna…ya, it does not count, plus it erases the Cuba tan in quick order!

Beagle is off to Mexico, I saw him yesterday, 194.5, he did not get to his target but he lost lots of weight, he looks like half the beagle he used to be.  Now he did say this would be the last time…does he continue to diet when he gets back?  In Cuba we met some people from Saskatoon, our second day we went for coffee and the were people still at it in the bar…they called us over…we chugged our coffees…and the mojitos began.

start drinking at 4:30 am…only on vacation

Good guys, poker room attitudes which quickly made my wife refer to the smaller of the 2 guys as skinny Beagle (but she used his real name).  Skinny beagle tells us he used to weigh 40 pounds more…and this guy is like 5’5″ so 40 is lots…while we were carrying on into the daylight a Russian joins in, some guy they met in the can.  Dude can speak 17 words of English, is wasted and has a piss poor way about him to start. I had hoped we would get rid of him but he stuck it out for an hour trying to tell us a story about 3 security guards at a bar that hit him with a bat…The conversation wasn’t rolling, we even tried charades but he wouldn’t do any drawing…When he first arrived he had that surly, show me your pipes, do you work out way about him…he did get over it which helped but it isn’t easy to trust a drunk stranger that opens up a conversation by showing how big his arms are…the guy weighed 150 pounds….

We did escape…although the guy was really trying hard to get me to the internet room to a translator so that we could continue our talk…ahhhh…I’m on vacation brother…

Cuban rum, the man blog

Cuban rum

no Russian for me today…sorry.

The first time you’re away from your kids in 4 years is a mix of longing and sleep…both you will find can be assisted with massive amounts of freely pouring rum.

I’m not a huge fan of the Cuban rum, and this rum Varadero stuff does not find it’s way back in my carry on.

I’m not sure how it happened but I’ve become a liquor snob…I’d rather pay $200 for a good bottle of hooch than take advantage of the stuff at 3 Pesos.

One more thing in the sadness list I guess…

On the resolution front I hit the code and the guitar yesterday.  I’ve been deeper into the guitar than the code but I have a lot more to learn on that end.  I might as well hit the strings as hard as I can while the love affair is fresh…right now I want to pick it up every time I see it but when the snow melts I know I’ll be out in the garage getting the snake ready for another suicide run.

And I still have a house to finish renovating here…but the tile isn’t going down until March break when Ev takes the kids to TO for a couple of days…so I’m still on target!

The quote of the day is a long one…from another of my favourites:

Like most others, I was a seeker, a mover, a malcontent, and at times a stupid hell-raiser. I was never idle long enough to do much thinking, but I felt somehow that some of us were making real progress, that we had taken an honest road, and that the best of us would inevitably make it over the top. At the same time, I shared a dark suspicion that the life we were leading was a lost cause, that we were all actors, kidding ourselves along on a senseless odyssey. It was the tension between these two poles – a restless idealism on one hand and a sense of impending doom on the other – that kept me going.
― Hunter S. Thompson

That…is that.



There will be frostbite.

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Let’s start with a bit of the old weight…

At this moment in time I weigh in at………246.6

Not bad at all considering the man weekend I just survived.  10 guys, 3 days, 2 nights, tents, and temperatures never above -20.

The annual GBG Yurting trip is in its 6th or seventh year, but this is the first time I’ve signed on for the punishment.

GBG Yurting 2014

GBG Yurting 2014

A great time had by all, dozens of moments I wanted to record in the man blog…most forgotten…mainly due to the fact that most of the funniest moments happen late…deep into the war against frostbite.  The weapon of choice for this war seemed to be rum, and we put back plenty of it.

For the 2 day stint I purchased 18 beers and a 26 oz bottle of rum.  I came home with 16 beer…seems reasonable considering that the bottle of rum lasted less than 8 minutes.  We arrived at the campground in Algonquin park mid afternoon, unpacked, and the festivities began.  10 guys cracking beers, a bit of outdoor darts…yes it’s minus 40 with the wind chill at this point…and I bring out the rum…

26 ounces consumed in 10 minutes…the wolf pack demolished it, luckily I was able to find the resources at a local pub for a replacement…

GBG winter dart challenge

GBG winter dart challenge

So…camp fire is roaring, many drinks consumed, darts…time to head to town for dinner.  This is something you have to get over with early, town is 30 minutes away and you’ve got 2 drivers that have had to watch the others drinking while they shiver and shudder…we’re all cold…but they are sober enough to know it!

We load up!  2 vehicles, off we go…

It’s been snowing, the 60 highway through Algonquin park isn’t pretty…half way to town the lead car pulls over, we pull up beside them and roll down our window…

We forgot Trafford!


Trafford is invisible in his camo…

Geezus…Trafford must have gone into the Yurt to change his shirt and off the rest of us fled!   At first he tells us he thought we had pulled out as a joke…that we’d return any moment….the moment did not come to pass and he sent out texts for an evac.

The car turned around and headed back for him while we went ahead to begin negotiations for a new bottle of rum.

Old Trafford left behind!

Old Trafford left behind!

Negotiations were successful with one of the patrons, we all sat down for a couple of pitchers of beer, Trafford’s return, and fish and chips for everyone!

Mad Musher

Mad Musher









Back to the Yurt for some drinks, cards, and plenty of laughs.

Now the Yurt seems warm, 10 big guys, a small heater…if it’s working…and plenty of alcohol…you’ll be fooled into taking off your sweater, it will seem like t-shirt weather in there.  Maybe this happens in Yurt 38, but Yurt 36…the one that Paul and I picked…there is no t-shirt weather in there.  The heater in our living quarters is there for looks, when it does turn on…for one minute out of every 3, all day and night long, it spits out a bit of mild warmth, but it isn’t going to overtake the -44 outside or the 1 inch gap under our front door!

Highlight of the first night, what does the Fox say?  The fox says, hand over the beef jerky sucka.

Feeding the Fox

Feeding the Fox

Hand fed the fox which was interesting, the animal isn’t much bigger than a poodle, but it’s teeth are twice as long!  Luckily for me it is more gentle than our dog at removing food from between your finger tips.

Now, the next morning while talking to the park host I came to realize that there is a $250 fine for feeding the wildlife.  Plus he did point out that if someone mistook that gentleness for say…petability…they may realize what those long teeth are for…and it could be a child thinking it might want a cuddly hug.

He is worried, and for good reason, that they would put the animal down if it bit someone, which they would have to…and a great sin it would be.

That was pretty much it for the first night, we played card games until long after midnight then I stumbled off to my own yurt…a plastic covered mattress with surface temperatures a touch colder than your refrigerator and a heater that blinks on just long enough to shake you out of your snooze…but if you could get inside your sleeping bag…and I mean all of you in it…you would survive the night.

The next morning I get out of my yurt to see the sun shining down and the temps again around -25.  Off we go into town again for some breakfast…I have the hangover special, eggs, sausage, bacon and ham plus french toast.

No Syrup

No Syrup

Parker finds out that they are out of syrup due to terrible road conditions the truck hasn’t delivered…

Ya, there wasn’t much of a man diet had by any of us this past weekend…but again, I’m only at 246.6, still waiting on Parker’s report.

Now, we did have a huge breakfast, but ahead of us was 6 km of snowshoeing and a soccer game…so off we go.

First, I did snow shoe for about a kilo, then I realized from watching Adam ahead of me that he was losing footing due to the trail just being wide enough for the snowshoes to pass one another, and that the trail was compacted so snowshoes weren’t needed…and to try these facts out off came my snowshoes…so I hiked the remaining 5 km.  The first half of which was the best, without snowshoes I could move faster than the other guys, while they were trudging along I was stopping here and there for a look.  There are still some old grown trees right beside the path, ones that 3 grown men couldn’t get there arms around…

I’m no tree hugger, but I like to take a moment…touch that tree and say a word or 2…are we out here snowshoeing to sweat or to take in a bit of the old forest?  I can sweat in the sauna…Besides, these big old trees were left behind for a reason, they clear cut this land at one point and left behind one in a thousand trees…might as well seek them out.

Next up…soccer.  England vs Scotland.  The Englishman put me on the Scottish team with an Italian because they are suckers for punishment.  Our soccer field is only 20 feet wide, so getting past me at almost 5 feet wide isn’t going to be easy!  I know…I know…chunk shouldn’t be so hard on himself…I’m no more than 3 feet wide…but now I have my snow gear on…Write goodyear on the side of me with a handfull of Beagles balloons and I’m off to the superbowl for a low fly over.

The Scottish come away victorious…although I did mangle the wrist…an excuse not to lift for a week at least, but the treadmill will be victimized.

A fine dinner of home made soup and chili, a bit of the vino, a few beers, a bit of cards…then back to the yurt to practice my Tutankhamun imitation.  Our heater has steadily declined…if there was a gas station open I could have made it to off I would have been at that point.  Slept that second night with the light on as neither of us was willing to get up to turn it off, not that it matters because I am inside my sleeping bag trying to stay warm…Inside inside.  My head too.  The only thing that would have made my sleep better was if the sleeping bag had a zipper the entire way around…it is possibly above freezing in the yurt….maybe…

I wake up at just after 4 am…I’m not sure what time it is at this point because my phone is frozen…yep…I hit the auto start on the truck and begin the gamble that a gas station is going to be open with the 70 km my fuel gauge says I have left until empty…and Paul and I only had to wait 15 minutes for the gas station in Barry’s Bay to open.

Next year…I pack a second heater…



The man diet begins again, today I will not have chocolate, no chips!  I won’t even have beer or scotch…today I diet!

The Quote de jour, a testament to the Golden Boys soccer club:

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably
William Penn

Stay warm…