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Counting days…..

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You know what….the man blog weigh in challenge just doesn’t have the same sparkle it used to….so I’m not going to do it….and I think I might just delete the last few posts.

It’s not as funny as it once was….it will be again….but not this month….in the midst of a cold winter as we pretend to get ready for the beach perhaps….

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Today was Avery’s grade 6 graduation….

Avery…..geez…..

Recently Ave needed a photo to hand in to her class for graduation.  I thought she meant a baby picture so I went down to rummage through Ev’s old memento’s………..

Sadly there isn’t much there for Ave…..One big container of old photos and 95% of them are of Syd….the early days of Ev’s first marriage….when maybe things could work out…..

But Ave came along and things didn’t get better….the camera wasn’t out as much…..those years are lost………

I sat down there thinking about the portion of my children’s life that is lost….memories that no one has….not even them….

Yes Charlotte will have very few memories of her mother later in life….even now…..I’m not sure….but we do talk about Ev quite a bit….when it comes up I always take the time to listen to Charlotte’s moments and add whatever I can to them…

I also share how I feel about Ev….whenever I’m missing her I let the girls know….I tell them I miss Ev and that I love her….

You see…that right there is the problem………

I love Ev……

…………..

That leaves a bit of emptiness in a person……that isn’t easy…..

I miss my wife….and I know some people don’t like to hear it but I miss her too much…..

I hide it pretty good these days…..but nothing has changed…..

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What has changed…..Avery is growing up.  She is a beautiful power house just like her mother….I try my best to nurture that….I hope to be there to help her not make the early mistakes Ev did…..it won’t be easy….Syd will help though…….

It really isn’t easy….but it comes with a real benefit….

Hugs!

And that’s really all Ave ever wanted…..Syd too…..those 2 girls always just wanted more love….and now I have more to spare…..

And that’s good for all of us.

geez….I’m not sure where this man blog started….what made me write it….I know lots of it didn’t get written.  There is simply too much going on that I don’t care to share….much of it isn’t easy…..but it’s life….it’s no different that the trials and tribulations every one of you suffer….

The Quote of The Day

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?
Ernest Hemingway

I dreamt of Ev twice last week….once awake….The dream I had of her while sleeping lasted hours…..one of those beautifully vivid dreams……we lived a normal day together……it was truly wonderful for me……but then it turned to hell…….because just like the last time Ev wasn’t quite happy……………..Charlotte had died………..

I pursue my worst nightmare in my sleep………..

Babe…..I love your face….I miss you terribly…..I’m trying……

XO

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Just because?

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You would figure I’d have this sorted out by now….but I don’t.  I still grieve….impossibly I still find myself at this.  It’s like I’m stuck doing something I love that is terrible for me…..an addict…..in love with something that might harm me…..

I don’t want to find myself in my truck driving home from the gym….or the pub…..in tears….

I don’t want to do that anymore…..

How do you stop that?

How does that come to an end?

I certainly do not know….nothing I have tried to this point has worked….helped….sure, the worst of it…..

Now, I try the gym…..every day….to what end I’m not sure, it certainly has kept me out of the pub….

Anyway….I’m not asking for much…..I just don’t want to feel pain anymore……

The Weigh In

Kevin Parker has joined the gym.  I will do my best to work out with him until he gets it….my lord he is going to hurt on Wednesday this week…..lol  Parker weighs in at 252 pounds.  Slim……ish

Keivn Parker gym

Who should we start with…the losers or the gainers?

I suppose the losers….just 2 folks, Ayhan and Arthur.

Scottish_tourist_Ataturk_tattoo

Until this moment I didn’t even realize the Scottish Turkish thing was a thing….geezus…

Arthur is down to a svelte 193 pounds, his goal is 185 pounds, not too lofty….Ayhan is at 186.4, he offered up everything he ate this weekend…I mean, he might be on to something….he is losing more than anyone at this point.  I won’t give you the expose on just how many berries Ayhan demolished between 5:30 and 5:32 on Saturday….Just know….I know……..

Okay….the gainers….

Priouz hits the scale at 159.5, there is a chance that he is wearing one of his fancy airport belts…….I hope not…..How many pounds of Iranian gold is that Pirouz?

Vinnie….Vinnie….Vinnie….You can’t eat at Mother’s all weekend long and expect to lose buddy….that pasta is only worth while if you’re carb loading for a marathon….and let’s be serious…..

3.italian-21

That isn’t happening….Vinnie managed 177 pounds this morning.  His goal is just 170…no problem!

Poor Old Beagle……198.1 pounds…..

sean-pizza

What do you say in a situation like this….I mean…..

Beagle’s goal…amputation of a limb I suppose….because that’s the only way he is ever going to see 185 pounds….

Me?  Well I was even this morning, 239 pounds.  I have been putting in the work, I know that at least some of the weight that is on me today is muscle that was fat a couple of months ago…..to be fair….I am getting big….and I intend to get bigger.  I’m going to continue working out like mad, attempting to hit the protein requirements to build muscle….and about Febuary 1st….2 weeks before we fly…..I’m going to crush myself….zero carbs….

I’ll drop 10 pounds easy.  It won’t get me under 220….but so what

The Quote of The Day

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
Bob Marley

Well folks….that’s it for another day….

Today will be fabulous….I will smile…

To be fair….if you’re at Movati at 8 pm tonight to see Kevin Parker’s first attempt at lifting weights in his life….

There will be a few laughs….and I think a pint at the pub afterwards.

Love you all….even the asses…..

Babe…..my god…..I miss you……..

 

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The Return of The Scotch Diet

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Did I possibly drink a bottle of wine last night….and maybe I may have possibly followed that up with a sip…or 2…of scotch….

The silver beast stared 235.8 back at me this morning….dehydration?   You betcha!

Hell, that’s 8 pounds in 3 days….if only I had enough moisture left in my skull to pull that off another night….well who knows how low I could go….

So…I ate 4 eggs and 3 slices of toast for breakfast…a few shakes through the day…and a monster steak with salad for dinner….and the above noted liquid calories….

30 minutes of uphill running on the treadmill….

Today I lift….I’ll be sweating liquor….there is nothing but that and coffee in me at the moment….

Combatants for this round of the man blog…..

Arthur at 195 and holding

Beagle started at 201.7 and has broken the 200 pound barrier in just a few days….he weighed in at 198 this morning…198!

Ayhan the king of Turkey has nothing to lose….but he is giving it a go…he started at 189.2 and has been down then back up and he now sits at 189 even….I’m not sure if Ayhan is dieting at all…I mean the guy simply has red wine over beer and he dumps a pound a day…..

Parker….FAT…what do you want me to say…255 pounds….measly pounds……

The Spy…..his weight is a secret at this point….it’s a huge number and I’ll post it here daily even if the spy wants to keep it a secret….let’s say 285….to be fair….

Pirouz had his camera out in the gym again last night…there may be a no photo policy but he doesn’t care one bit…158 pounds.  Pirouz and Beagle are the same height if that gives you any reference….I’m just saying….

Vinnie is at it again…he will lose weight for sure now that his Cuban son inlaw has moved in….its chicken and onions every night at the stallions residence….pasta is a thing of the past!  Vin is down to 176 from 179.5….chicken is the secret kids…

The old fart isn’t playing this time around, Trafford is still pissed they swapped the carpet out of Carlingwood for slippery tile…they think a slippery when wet sign means anything to seniors….those son of a B’s are handing out broken hips FFS.

I’m not sure if the senior is secretly shaking it up or not…I suppose 40ish days from now when we are all on the beach we will check out his super old 6 pack…..the oldest ab in the Dominican Republic.

Tomorrow I’ll get a few photos of the fatties….no weigh in….no problem….

007…..get your act together or I’ll melt you on the internet…..I hate to pull photos of the spy from the public domain and attach them onto Jenner’s present physique….to be fair you should consider it.

If you’ve made it this far….I’ll tell you a secret………

I’m madly in love with my wife….she has only been gone a year…………..I miss her every damn day……

I’m trying……I really am….

Babe……I love your face…….

 

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OMG!!!!

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Week 2 of back to school….you have got to be kidding me…..

LOL

I mean….I’m not sure I’m going to make it….I can only color my hair so much…..soon it’ll be on the floor….

I did not sign up for this….and it seemed much easier last year, I’ve done this for 6 months alone….it seemed easier…much easier.

Well…I’ve only got what…like the entire school year to go….my lord.

Charlotte has been talking about Ev almost daily, she brings up things….memories of Ev….always….She killed me last night though.

Charlotte has always played with her belly button, from a very early age…Ev and I used to joke with her about it and she would only let Ev touch it, seldomly me…..

Ev told her that her belly button was joined to mommy…

I asked Charlotte why she plays with her belly button last night….and she says touching it makes it bigger….

She told me it’s a part of mommy, where they were attached…………..and she said I could touch it as long as I was soft because she didn’t want me to pop it….

I crushed me then….12 hours ago….and I wrack now because of it….

I do not want to feel like this…..I can fight my emotions….I fight until the back of my throat hurts…holding in my wracking sorrow…..

Tomorrow is 9 god damn months………………..

9 months.  How is that even possible………….

I can’t do this….I can’t…..

Now onto the make believe………

THE MAN BLOG WEIGH IN

Let’s start with Kevin Parker.  Kevin weighed in this morning at 256 pounds.

The following photograph HAS NOT BEEN MODIFIED!!!!!fat parker
So…the September diet extravaganza was Kevin’s idea….

He has yet to start….

Looking good buddy!

Next up…Seamus Browne

fat seamus
What do you want me to tell you…Oh wait….these 2 have been calling me fat lately….

Bahahahahahaha

Payback sucks….

But to be fair I’m going to go upstairs right now and take a picture of myself with my shirt off….yes I will be taking advantage of camera angles….but this is me…right now……

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Now….I’m hardly slim…I am trying to drop 20 pounds after all….but I’m down to just a few chins….

Actually, I’ve been on the scotch diet the last 2 days and I’m down 3 pounds, today I hit the scale at 226.6 pounds….I’ll take it.

Scotch diet again today with UB40 followed by poker….wish me luck!

Trafford

Old man Trafford is on the shakes and weighs in at 174.2 pounds.

I can’t do the shakes, I simply do not have the willpower to cut food out of my life to that extent…I simply enjoy the old stuff face.

Then again everyone in the September diet extravaganza wishes to be a bit thinner……and why not!

Trafford is already skinny as far as I’m concerned…..

Arthur and Vinnie

leading-brands-on-show-at-the-great-british-beer-festival
Vinnie is in Toronto so no weigh in today, yesterday he came in at 177 steady after a 5 course dinner at his mother’s. Last night he had an 8 oz steak at the Keg and 2 beers….

Arthur is at 190 this morning after a weigh in yesterday of 188 pounds.  He had chicken for lunch, pizza for dinner and 3 beers.

I have read, heard and seen….that grown men should never….ever….eat pizza.

I love the stuff myself.

By the way, my scotch diet has included no less than 2 beers each of the last 2 days….no less…….

That’s it for today…Boyling offered up 191 yesterday and nothing from Turkish or the mad bomber today….busy planning a flight maybe…….

So….the quote of the day………….what do you do in a situation like this…..I’ll have to turn to Hunter I guess…let me see.

Remember this, folks – I am a Hillbilly, and I don’t always Bet the same way I talk. Good advice is one thing, but smart gambling is quite another.
Hunter S. Thompson

I’m sure I’ve thrown this one out before….it comes down to this….I’m a simple guy….in heart and mind….I take very little of the universe….I ask for help seldom from my friends and never….ever….anything from strangers….

But I try to give…..in any small way I can, I do try to spread a little happiness, and those that know me know….

Of course I play by my rules…..my cars are fast and loud and I make few apologies for that….my opinion is the same and often I don’t care to hold back either….maybe too often….

In the end……this is why Ev loved me…….it’s all I have…..who I am…..what is left……

To my friends…..I love you all….I couldn’t do this alone…..I couldn’t……..

Babe….I miss you every minute….I drive the bird imagining you beside me……….I wish you were…….someday……

We will wrack…..forever maybe……

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The Weight Loss Extravaganza

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Welcome to September and the start of the biggest weight loss event the man blog has ever had.

At this point we have 8 contestants….eight!  I would not be surprised to find a few more people clamoring to embarrass themselves on this site in the hopes it will drive their weight down…but….it has never worked for any of us….

Think of the fun though….

The line up….I guess I’ll start with the newcomers.

Vinnie

Vinnie Creaco
Vinnie enters the weight loss challenge for the first time although he was featured on the man blog 2 years ago while on vacation in the DR….still the same outfit, a simple change in color is all Vinnie needs to freshen up his wardrobe. The Italians really now how to let go of their inhibitions….
Vinnie weighs in today at 172.5 pounds

No report on his weight loss goal, likely just an excuse to cut back on the odd beer and get out in his airie outfits.

Vinnie is not the…..can I say fattest….hell it’s my man blog….Vinnie is not the fattest of the contestants

 

Arthur

arthur
Arthur, like Vinnie above, was featured here during a Dominican trip a couple years ago…a joyous event where he and Vinnie spread the joy and wonder of their cultures deep into the Caribbean.  Vinnie of course wearing his mankini while Arthur the Scot is more often found in plaid skirts….  I suppose a dinner gown of sorts.

He’ll be backing off the haggis hard this coming month.

Arthur is not the fattest here at the man blog….

Arthur weighs in at 192 pounds.

 

 

Andy

andy
Andy is back!

This senior citizen is the man behind the decision at Carlingwood to swap out the carpeting for a high wear ceramic tile!

Andy spends much of his spare time cutting up the rug and by that I mean he is running….or walking…up a storm battling those calories with the rest of his age group at malls across the city with Carlingwood being an old school favorite.

The old man weighs in at 177.8 pounds with a goal of 168.  Reasonable enough

Andy is not the……fattest….competitor on the man blog…..

 

Beagle

Sean Russett falls and ruins the world
Beagle has been around for more diet challenges than I want to remember….I mean…years of them.

He is still knocking the world off it’s axis folks…

Now…beagle is actually still under 200 pounds, easily 10 pounds below his old running weight.  He finds himself at 194 pounds at the start of the weight loss challenge.

So maybe we can keep the weight off…..

Beagle is not the fattest competitor on the man blog.

Boyling

Boyling did not send his weight in….I gave him 24 hours to manage it and he did not…..so what do we do now?????

Drum roll please…….kindly allow me to reintroduce Boyling…..

boyling rage
I’ve tried to be kind Boyling…

Boyling is also keeping it off, I expect he will also weigh in at under 200 pounds since his last weight melting challenge.  He found his success through Isagenix…a mixture of starvation, mystery cleansing fluid and starvation…

Tomorrow we weigh in on time Boyling or you’re getting the rod….and you don’t want everyone to see a picture of you getting that do you????

Boyling is not the fattest competitor on the man blog…..

Yours Truly, Me

20150901_073107Okay…I weighed in at 229.8 pounds this morning.  And I’ve offered up a photo of me, excuse the funny face and misbegotten hair…I just rolled out of bed and snapped this lovely example of myself.

As far as common science is concerned I am not obese…no sir…to be considered obese your bmi has to be over 30.  I find myself at 29.5 the very limits of being overweight….

I’m surprised the floor in the old house can support me!

I want to lose 20 pounds….more to be honest but 20 will be an almost impossible task for the month and considering my knee will not hold up to pounding pavement I’ll almost entirely be relying on diet to get it done…

Well…diet and diet pills….

I am not the fattest competitor on the man blog

Parker

Kevin Parker belly flops for the man blog

Parker weighed in yesterday at 255 pounds.  He is still about 10 pounds under his max after 6 months of being back into his regular….regular…hmmm…well his day to day might include the odd beer.

 

Parker has asked for the beer free September but this has been met with considerable opposition.

Cut back…okay…but zero might be a bit much.

I’m sure Kevin would be happy to be 240 pounds….I think he would be happier at 220.  His old knees are breaking down, not from injury…strain baby!

Kevin’s BMI is 32.7

Obese

He is not the fattest competitor on the man blog.

Drum roll please……………

Seamus

Seamus Browne in a brown shirt
Seamus….you are the fattest competitor on the man blog.  I know you look at Parker and think there is noooo way I’m bigger than that man….

But yes….it seems you are.

Seamus weighs in at 267 pounds, his BMI is 34.3

Geezus I just realized how little that BMI number moves….even if I get down to 209 I’ll still be considered overweight…..ok…let’s do this.

Seamus will crush out 40 pounds this month I think….I really do……

 

 

The Quote Of The Day

I love life because what more is there?
Anthony Hopkins

Everyone listed above rejoices in life….for that is the hokey pokey….putting yourself in it.

We live and love and dance and sing….like no other group of guys I’ve every come across……

Maybe along the way we eat a pizza and drink a beer and our belts suffer….but our lives do not.

I love you guys….let’s have some fun this month.

For those of you that have stuck around all the way to this point wondering how I am coping….I’m doing okay the past few days, I’ve survived a great purging here on my main floor and the children and I all seem a bit happier for it….more things have a place and more things are falling into place.

And….very importantly….I feel good.  I know my wife is happy with these changes….

It isn’t easy, it isn’t easy to sit here and write those few simple lines…I wrack for it…..but I know I’m doing everything I can, for healthy kids, and for my own health….

Well maybe not the diet pills but hey…..

Babe….I love your face…..forever.

Today…….be fabulous…wish everyone you can a great day….show them what being joyous in life is all about!

 

XO

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The Good Things In Life….

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The Good Things In Life….

I live a good life.  The things that matter most in life I have covered….well…most of the things….

Yesterday I packed up the fam and off we went to La Ronde in Montreal.  An excellent day trip to an amusement park with short lines and lots to do.

The kids and I had a great time, I cut the big kids loose and Charlotte and I spent the day together…I witnessed a lot of smiles and laughter…just the sort of thing to make for a great day.

Today I don’t even want to think about what would make that day perfect…absolutely perfect…..

The things you do to forget….the choices you make….wanting to run away….looking for a place to hide….

Where do you hide from yourself………where does that place exist…..

How Fat is Fat?

I consumed 40 thousand liquid calories yesterday, cheap refills on ice tea and fruitopia while baking under 30 degree sun in high humidity….

I ate crap food…

Today I weigh in at 228.5…is that fat?  It’s fat to me.

We have a newcomer to the man blog…another for the punishment…Donald Buchanan…please allow me to introduce you all…

donald buchanon
Donald is not with child….he is not in the third trimester….

Donald drinks the occasional beer….sometimes….once in a while…..

He also plans to drop 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks!!!!!  This will be fun to watch…Are you also skipping out on soccer tonight with a pulled ham?  That right there equates to 1800 less beer calories you might consume….IF you don’t drink them somewhere other than the soccer field.

the first 10 should be easy….but don’t take my word for it, I’m losing nothing!

Kevin Parker….up 253…Kevin certainly will be 260 again….you bet he will!!!!  It’s summer time, he is playing soccer more nights a week right now than her ever has…the outcome…..UP….up up and away!

Trafford….Old Trafford is at 173 old pounds…he has been working the under paddingAndy Trafford Carlingwood at Carlingwood again….

But Trafford is pretty slim, let’s be realistic, he is a lot slimmer than yours truly and the rest of this gang of old fatties.

Seamus has himself down to a not svelte at all 266 pounds.  His weight loss has slowed quite a bit from the 5 pounds a day he was seeing a week ago….come on big boy….you can do it!

Boyling is still low at 191.4 pounds…holding…  He is obviously slowing down on the dairy and on to something else….I did see him have quite a few milks on Monday night though.

and poor Beagle throws out a ‘under 190’ today….what is that. 189.99 pounds?

Beagle has some low goals….but don’t we all….

Will I ever weigh under 210 pounds again?

It’s Wednesday night….this Wednesday comes in with both soccer and poker….the agony…..

The Quote of The Day

Giving up is conceding that things will never get better, and that is just not true. Ups and downs are a constant in life, and I’ve been belted into that roller coaster a thousand times.
Aimee Mullins

I am on a cruel roller coaster….that’s it….that’s where I’m at.

I hate the highs and the lows…..I love the highs and the lows….

This is some roller coaster….

In my life, I have been so fortunate….I really did consider myself the luckiest person I knew….

A blessed life….perfect…..

If a misfortune came my way…it would always be the start of something new….better….

This seems different somehow….it’s not just my life anymore….it’s the high wire act of balancing not just my emotions….but my children’s…..and they all need something different……..

Which reminds me….those of you that have managed to stick with today’s blog….here you go….

A couple questions from a man blog follower yesterday…..

Vic, one thing that perplexes me and that I have been curious about but hesitant to ask is how does someone go to a hospital and never come out???

What brought her there? What was wrong that day that sent her to the hospital? Was it routine? Was it a minor surgery? How does she go from being home, happy and writing on Facebook to passing away? I didn’t think that cancer worked like that – what happened to palliative care? Why couldn’t anything be done??

So…here goes….let’s start with the easy part…..

How does my wife go from being happy and writing on Facebook to passing away?

Well, my wife wasn’t happy, she was afraid….she did not want to lose her life and I tried my best to save her….I spent hours reading the internet…trying every single thing I could…..

She would never want her friends to know she was weak and afraid….she pretended to be stronger than that….and she was very strong, a super human in fact….but she had so many doubts…

I’ve said it here before….it was only in the last month of my wife’s life that she told me she never knew how many people loved her….she never believed how much I did…..she thought so little of herself….

I told my wife every day how much I loved her, how beautiful and smart she was….she didn’t believe me until the end………….

okay….we will wrack……

you want to know how much I loved my wife….ask my male friends…..ask the guys that used to see me out….or at poker…..you ask them if I ever turned my head to take a second look at a passing girl………..I held my wife so high above every other woman….I loved her completely….she simply didn’t believe it…..I guess she just figured it wasn’t possible………..to be loved completely…..

What brought her there? What was wrong that day that sent her to the hospital? Was it routine? Was it a minor surgery?

What brought my wife to the hospital that day was…in the end…that she had become septic….

Now there were a number of things that triggered this and her death in the end….and at the very end of this post I’m going to say something that comes with great relief and pain…………

I brought her in to the hospital in the morning, the day before she couldn’t do chemo because her white blood cells were too low….

I believe they could have given her a shot then and there to help bring them up but I believe she couldn’t have that shot due to the terms of the REO trial she was on…..regret number 1

THERE ARE SOME REGRETS!!!!!!!!!

Charlotte and I slept on the sofa that night as Charlotte had a cold which would have been enough to seriously harm if not kill Ev at that time…..

So up in the morning and off to the hospital to argue with the admitting nurse that was busy flirting with a paramedic….it took me 30 to 45 minutes to get her into an air tight germ free sort of room….I actually had to call the oncology nurse before the admitting nurse would listen.

Once in this room another nurse started caring for her, administering morphine type drugs for her pain….sadly another rookie nurse…..we were almost in for a CT when we remembered that Ev had an allergic reaction to the dye the last time….that ruined us…as now she would go into the operation with blind doctors trying to figure out what was going on.

I’m not sure where I’m at with this…I’m just trying to get it out…..

During this time Ev complained about not being able to move her legs….which the rookie nurse took as over medication…Ev and I did get a bit of a laugh over it….but she was in agony…..agony still.

Finally the first nurse called in a senior nurse…and withing 45 seconds the senior nurse said….she is shutting down……that’s why she can’t move her legs….

Now we are in trouble….they instantly move her to an emerg room…I considered it a crash room…and an army of surgeons came in…they x rayed her internal organs….and at that time I saw just how many spots of cancer she had on her lungs……

………………………………………………………………

The doctor took me into another room….he told me she would face a surgery that was very risky…….he told me she would never do chemo again……………………

I came out and told her I loved her and I would take care of our babies……………

……………………………………………………..

hours later a doctor came out and told me that what he had to do was a success but that there was still a risk…but I took that very positively….I thought I would kiss her again…….

………………………………………………….

Now you know what I want to do…………….you know where I’d like to be………………………..

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I am making the most out of this life because I have to…..I have children I need to take care of…..

And if I’m going to do this I’m going to be as happy as I can be while doing it…….but this isn’t my first choice at this time………..

Well….there is a man blog for you…………..

here is what it comes down to…..

I HATE THIS……I’ve been pretending fairly well…but it’s all a fucking lie……..I’m just doing what I have to do….still now…..

I’m waiting for it to end….one day I will wake up and be better…….or not……

There we go……..

This is a man blog I should delete.

Anyway…December 17 2014 Evelyn Wheeler passed away….she might still be alive if she had lived that day….but she would be closer to the end….weak….sad…..

She would be suffering every day….unable to hide her weakness from the girls…..they would suffer also…

That day she left us….she is no longer in my life to touch….but she will never leave me……

Babe….I love your face!

 

 

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Today’s Man Blog has No Grief….

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Today’s Man Blog has No Grief….

If you’ve come today for my anguish…there will be no report on that here today…

This is the man blog of old, I will be discussing how fat the boys and I are and our battle to turn that around…

Just the way it always was….

…………okay……..the man blog………..

Geez….okay okay….

It’s all about the weigh in.

Your’s truly hit the scale this morning at 225.8 pounds, down 3.2 pounds yesterday.  I kept calories low and not only worked on the deck but did a Core class at the shop.

Let it be known I am no longer friends with Mandy Russett for making me go to the class, I’m also never speaking to Karen Seath-Smith every again….punishment.

I can’t wait for Arthur and Kevin to do this class next week….if Kevin comes…it’s worth the price of admission and I’m selling tickets!

Oh…Kevin…missed today’s weigh in…we know what that means!

watford kevin parker
No mistaking Parker in that one…clearly not a doppelganger due to the tattoo.

I’m sure Parker is in no hurry to send his weigh in…although he did ONLY have shakes until about 3 in the afternoon, he may have sent me an invite to meet him at the pub….

He also couldn’t make the core class…just getting home from said pub at 7 pm….to crush the fridge I’m betting!

Beagle is down to 204.4, that’s a little more than a pound….not bad…he may not have had an entire 6 pack of pepsi yesterday….Core class Beagle?

Boyling has finally submitted his weigh in, 202 pounds….I’m going to guess Boyling stands about 5’6…..maybe 5’8…I don’t know for sure…I’ll have to check next time I see him….but he is somewhere in the mildly obese category…he hasn’t quite gotten to rollie pollie….Beagle?????

Andy Trafford GAINED!!!  Up a pound and a half to 172.5.  You see Trafford, all that work at the cottage will not burn the calories of 20 km put in at the Carlingwood….and none of the silver streakers are drinking beer while burning up the carpet!

Andy Trafford
Today is another day Trafford…

Anyway, Trafford isn’t anywhere near as fat as the rest of us, he just wants to get to 165, that’s just 7 and a half pounds away for him….

I’d like to get to 165….I wonder what that would be like….

So the list:

Me: 225.8   -3.2

Beagle: 204.4  -1.2

Kevin: 249   holding???

Trafford: 172.5  +1.5

Boyling: 202

The Quote of The Day

Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
Harris–LA Story

A wee quote from one of my all time favorite movies….

In my life there have been ups and downs….right now….it’s down.

Could I say I feel the rise…..I don’t know….there is so much going on….I know I can be happy…and if I could be so happy all the time that I forget how deeply unhappy I am….

It’s better than…..

and for all of you that stuck through this for the grief…I feel pain….it’s right here…making me wrack….

and it will be for a long time….but sometimes we need to push it aside….pretend to live without it…see how that goes.

That’s life…and the sooner I get on with living that way, the sooner I get on living…..

Babe….I miss you too much.

Hey….I hate it….but it is what it is…..

XO

I hope you all have a great day…and I hope I do too.

Looks like a sunny one, get out and LIVE!

wracking………

 

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Too Much…

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Too Much….

What is too much….why is too much….

too much too much too much….

I’ve just sat down to write the man blog…8:25….I’ve been up for hours…putting it off I suppose…..

And today….Is not the first day I don’t cry….

Too much….

A couple things roll around in my head these days…

First….and let the comments roll…I am once again considering dating….now dating I use loosely….I’d like to meet new people….or….I’d just like to spend some time….over a drink…a coffee….a sandwich…..

I need to do it….live….find more happiness………….

Now….is that going to be easy…no….but I am doing better…which brings me to the other thing we will discuss today…..

Too much…..

Parker and I talked about too much last night…he said I was using the wrong words to describe my love for Ev…it should be so much….but it isn’t….it’s too much….

And his concerns goes a bit farther…my comments to Ev to come get me….

Well…what do you want me to tell you….this is it….I would go…..I wouldn’t make it happen….but if the doctor told me I had 6 months to live…..I’d work hard to get my life…or my children’s life….in order….

Is that a terrible thing…NO!

I’m going to take the cards I’m dealt….

I’m also working hard to stick around for another 30 years…or more….I eat right, exercise…I don’t smoke…I try to eat clean….I mean…I love living….I love it….

Would I prefer to be with Ev?  Of course….

There we go…now I’ll wrack a bit….

Yes…I would prefer to be with Ev….

I could use hollywood examples to explain how I feel…where I’m at….but it comes down to this….

I want Ev to come home….it isn’t going to happen…….

IT ISN’T

So what…..SO WHAT!!!!

So I’ll keep living…without her…

….you know…this man blog is not great advertising for future dates…..

What kind of sane person pours their emotions out on the internet for everyone to read….I should be smart enough to hold it all inside like everyone else….

idiot….

Anyway….it’s too much….that is how much I love Ev…Too Much….

But that isn’t a bad thing….and it isn’t a bad thing moving forward…

And I think I’m doing much better…in the real world….than this blog suggests….if you met me last night I just seem like a normal guy without any issues…

I think…I’ll have to get verification from the people around me……

….am I different….from the person I was a few months ago….yes…………

Yes I would say I was….but I think….I think I’m just a bit more considerate….more mindful….I certainly don’t think I’ve come through this at this point for the worse….

I think I’m better….me…I’m better….and a better person for it….a better man….

Wow….I’m rambling today…..

my point…I’m okay…..

now this…sucks…because up there I did mention I’d be willing to go….which…ya…maybe seems a bit off…but remember….I will be picking up my babies after school today…and every day following….

It’s as simple as that…..

So back to item number one today….I don’t plan on doing it alone….not forever…….

Now kindly allow me a moment to go through some memories……

beautyev

There we go….

wrack out…..

To much…..

Now…..I’m going to do the weigh in….then review my writing here….and we will see if I delete it….I think I will just let it float on out into the Universe though…..

I HATE IT!!!!!

The Weigh In…Pizza!!

Poker last night, I crushed 3 slices of pizza, a plate of chips….3 or 4 brownies…..is that it??????  I think so….

This morning I weighed in at 217.4 pounds…same as yesterday?  Very close…deep dish extra cheese pizza…you have no power over me…..

Victor Wheeler and Kevin Parker

It isn’t as easy to call myself fat these days…sure I’d like to drop another 10 pounds…but I’ll be 44 soon and I certainly do feel like the ‘average’ man…

Trafford too, he sees himself up to 167 this morning…he might have also had a late night snack last night…..but for an older gentleman…what is Trafford…carry the one, times 4 subtract 7…..Trafford’s like 60ish years old….

He is looking good too!  Getting to 160 walking around Carlingwood is not going to be easy….

Beagle….last night….pizza….no weigh in….

Parker….I saw him drinking beer….no weigh in…..

Today….I lose 2 pounds…..

The Quote of The Day

What’s true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.
What Dreams May Come

So….it’s almost time for me to preview my post….to read the outpouring of my thoughts….usually a good reason to cry….pour a bit of the old tears….

You see….I sit down here and mindlessly write whatever I feel….maybe not a good practice…but therapeutic for me….

….some of you read what I write in a positive light, some negative…and for me…it’s somewhere in between….

But meet me…see me out with the boys….I’m just a regular guy…..

Better….I’m a human being that has survived through an emotion that many people never will….real grief……..

And I’m doing it….I’m better…….

Cold, today and tomorrow…but I think after that we are into some nice days!

Hey…wish everyone you see today a GREAT day!  Screw it….tell someone you love them….just for being in the same room….why not!!!!!

Babe……..I love your GD face!!!!!!!

I love it TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

 

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Human Nature…

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Human Nature

Today signed passport documents and permission to travel will arrive at our front door.  I have a tracking number and confirmation from a 3rd party that both are inside an envelope and on their way here with a guaranteed 10:30 delivery.

I thank that 3rd party for her assistance…immensely!

I also have some options in regards to getting these passports processed should the regular channel let me down, for that I am also immensely thankful for…

And I’m sorry I can’t cough out my email address over the phone, choked up and in tears…emotionally unstable…yes.

I long for the days when I can just carry on like a regular human being without cautiously feeling out my emotional response to a phone call or a purchase in a store or sitting alone at a red light…

If not for the tint in the pickup can you imagine how many people would have seen this ogre pouring tears….

But…as it stands I am 99.9% sure we will be on a plane to Cuba and tomorrow I’ll be able to give you an update on the last .1%, although I am sure that won’t be an issue….I have my documents and I’ll be dealing with a human being…or 2…so I should be able to reason should a small obstacle arise.

My darling Sydney told me yesterday morning that she was 95% sure it would not happen, but I assured her the forms would arrive.

Consider this Todd, if you had sent the forms on Monday as your promised, slipped $20 in the envelope along with a note telling Ave and Syd to have fun and buy themselves a beautiful necklace….should you have had the wisdom to do that…those girls would have put you up high in their hearts and minds…you could have secured their love…

Also consider that come February 22, a group of 20 will be travelling to Cuba, friends of mine and some of their children…20 people that love these children and adults that love each other.  I promise you the ladies will have the time of their lives.  I hope that makes your day better.

Victor Wheeler and Evelyn Wheeler Las Vegas

….Today will not be the first day I do not cry……..

I want my wife back……

…………I woke up this morning at 1 am….I lay in bed trying to dream of Ev….trying to live out another day with her in my dreams…but the dreams won’t come….I can’t see her in them….her face is out of focus no matter how hard I try to see it….I so wish I could live out my days with her in my dreams….

wracking…..I need an emotional break folks….I want to see the first day I don’t cry…sitting here in the mornings is very painful…

Someone commented yesterday that they wanted to know how Ev and I met…well…online…plenty of fish…

We had our first date at a now closed restaurant in Brockville.  We met at 7:30, sat down and started talking…although we opened our menus a few times we never did order food….we just talked and talked until the restaurant closed….

We probably sat there for 5 hours…

I kissed her for the first time in the parking lot…a place I would sometimes visit while she was alive…

That’s right…when she was alive if I was driving by I would pull in and circle the parking lot to relive the moment….

Well there goes another cup of tears….wracked…The best day of my life remembered…..lost……

Took a moment for myself there….I really hope that is the last time I cry today, But I have my doubts…

Just went to the shop to pick up sheets….Oh my lord I have a lot of tears in me…but that’s tomorrow’s blog….

Before I get to the weigh in this morning….I love you out there so much…I hate pouring tears but I love to know I love her this much…and sitting here not being able to see the keys…well…some of it is your fault…making me write the blog and sharing my feelings allows me to feel them….

Fatty Weighs In

You can drink water and eat right all day long….until the evening…

Yes folks…I am punishing myself with food late at night.  I even tried to get Syd not to let me eat while we watched a movie together in the evening and found myself sneaking cookies and candies….after pleading with her to let me have a cup of nuts and some raw fruit….

FAT!

Kevin Parker

I would love to tell you that this is a doctored image of Kevin Parker…life insurance specialist…and kindly allow me a plug right now…This man CAN save you MONEY on your life insurance…  He really can.  Change your regular mortgage insurance into a term policy perhaps, the smart thing to do…and pay less…You can do it!

Okay…back to Parker…just look at that face!  Looks like he had a bad go with some Africanized Bees…holy smokes.

I think Parker just realized he has an allergic reaction to bon bons….they make him puff up…I mean puff Right up!  I hope her finds his way to some benedryl, remember what happened last time Parker…Kevin Parker

oh oh….

To be fair though, Kevin is not cheating on his diet plan, pgx shakes I believe.  He has lost over 10 pounds.

Trafford is also on the PGX and has also lost 10 pounds…and he was so skinny he almost didn’t exist to begin with.

Russett is losing weight steadily on the starvation diet, I’m sure he will be in the 180’s with today update.

Me?  Fatty?  Well at 9 last night I managed 2 cups of mixed nuts, easily 2 cups of raw veg, let’s say….hmmm…50 gum balls…and why not be honest… another 50 ish sour cherry ball things…

Yes, load up on some late night carbohydrates….

Wait…I had 2 cookies…was it 2 or was it 4?

I think 2…I was sugar drunk at that time so it isn’t entirely clear.

I weigh in this morning exactly where I was yesterday.

216.4 pounds.

I want to be under 210 by the end of the week, which is going to find me in Toronto at Ev’s sisters house…who is married to an Italian guy….

Are there carbs in pasta and bread?

I’m in trouble….

Today…do I try to be good to myself today?  Well the gym is out…stitches…so I have that excuse…I’ll come up with more….

The Quote of The Day

Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.
Yehuda Berg

I have suffered all of the abilities of words…some of my suffering, to heal and to humble, have made me a better human being. My words….and yours.

I have given thanks this morning and give it again…to everyone that helped me get passports…not only physically but mentally. Your support is much appreciated….all of you.

Hey…Love you!

Cold…will it end….

Babe…we are getting through this, and we are doing it exactly as you’d love it to be…I love your face……..

wracking….

 

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From Such Great Heights…

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From such Great Heights

Come down now…they will say…come down now…but we’ll stay…

I’m cheating the man blog…it’s 10:34 pm, just home from poker…I’ve had such an amazing day and it’s time to get it off my chest…off my mind…and maybe…if I don’t talk to a soul tomorrow…maybe tomorrow will be the first day I don’t cry…

We will see…for you all…welcome to tomorrow…good morning…good afternoon…and goodnight…

geez…

Okay…

Let’s cover this most important base, yesterday…

I cried non stop from 8:20 to 11:20…

I honestly hit a new low.  where was I…trapped…no, that’s not it……….torn…I guess that is it…I was torn.

For days…weeks…I had been considering dating…I have discussed it with so many people…even days after Ev passed I had the first discussion.

I first mentioned it to Shannon…an old friend, picking up Syd from babysitting.  I told her I could go back to the way I was…noncommittal serial dating…she told me I would regret it.

I walked away from that moment saved…I didn’t know what to do but I knew she was right, I would regret being the person I was before Ev…

Weeks later it started to eat at me again…dating…meeting someone new…enjoying the company of another person…a woman…

But I figured it out…the reason why I have considered it…and the reason why I found myself crying for 3 hours non stop…

You see in the end it would be no different than jumping off a cliff…or tying a rope in the garage…

…it’s suicide.  And I know I get a lot of emails and comments in regards to that…doubting my ability to get through this…my strength…my conviction to live…but that is not an option for me…I’m bigger than that…this does not write my story…

I will not be committing emotional suicide…

Ev Vic hearts

You see…even if I thought I could sit here and write this tonight without crying…drained after such a long day…and the joy of realizing that I won’t be needing someone else in my life right now…

The knowledge that I am prepared for this moment to go on by myself…

I’m still crying…I was so sure writing this tonight I would not….

An emotional pit…I’m in it…and sitting here sharing it with you keeps it from filling up…it keeps me above the quicksand…

…………………..That’s it for tonight….I’ll finish this is the morning…hopefully with a weigh in and a fresh new view on the day……

But I take back the tomorrow may be the first day I don’t cry bit…..who am I kidding……..

One more thing before I give up for the night…I may thank more people tomorrow…but tonight before I go to bed…I thank my new friends, the people that have touched base with me over my loss, over this blog…we share our grief or our feelings about our day to day and that is such an important piece to being good people, healthy humans that too many people live without.  I thank Mandy and Joce for their ongoing support and everyone at Samadhi for keeping Ev’s dream alive….and I thank all my buddies…no better group of guys in the world…to think I know 20 guys that know I’m in a terrible place…read this…and still accept me…is amazing to me…Yes we all realize I’m a lunatic…but there is a chance I could recover….

……………………goodnight………………………

Well that was a sleepless night…I think I might have crushed out 2 hours worth of Z’s…I thought I’d sleep like a baby, happy with my new found peace…but I found myself wishing for good night kisses instead.

I spent hours thinking above Evelyn and talking to her about….life…

Fuck….Today will not be the first day I don’t cry…

I guess after yesterday’s hours of tears I couldn’t expect this morning to be any different…at least the house is reasonably clean…today I’m going to buy some trim…get this house in order…

Yesterday morning spent cleaning, listening to music and talking to Ev…I realized that she is here for me…and I can’t fight that in the hopes of relieving my pain.

I had a few late night notes, most around clock times that are supposed to carry a meaning, I’ll choose to let that pass…although I did see 11:11 last night and 10:10…in that order oddly enough…

I also wrote a note that I didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to think….well, that’s never worked out…

Let’s get to the lighter…side of the man blog.

Man Blog Weigh In

Here we go…let’s start with yours truly…This morning I weighed in at 215.2 pounds…

Kevin Parker Expands at the man blogThat my lovelies is a loss of over 5 pounds yesterday…It could be man weight…then again it could be tears alone…

And I did eat my fair share of a direinzo’s platter last night at poker…but just the meat…

Beagle did the same, loading up on protein and vodka and diet koolaid…he hit the stump though, a ground hog day for Beagle at 195.4 pounds.

Beagle swears to hit the elliptical today…the sauna…and he may even fast…otherwise known as starvation….

Beagle has made the spread 20 pounds between us…not bad…

Parker…poor Parker…his mate from England flies out today which means he will hit the diet shakes…and today finds Parker at 262 pounds…

Well there certainly is some man weight to unload there…

We are one month away from flying out to Cuba…I’m already willing to go shirtless without embarrassment, hell I’m down from over 250 pounds…Parker…..I don’t know….expanding….

The Quote of the Day…oddly found at my wordpress welcome page…

Within your heart keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go, and sheltered so, may thrive and grow where doubt and fear are not. Oh, keep a place within your heart, for little dreams to go.

— Louise Driscoll

Sadly I still don’t see Ev enough in my dreams…but maybe I just don’t remember them…or maybe my mind doesn’t allow it yet…

To all of you out there that doubt my strength to get through this on my own…I’m not alone…I have you…remember also it takes strength to publish my emotions out here…for all my buddies to see…my neighbors…my clients…

This is not the task of a weak man!

Ev…I love your face…thank you for giving me your strength…

Folks, pound for pound I put her up against anyone…XO

Cold…heading to gym…

Love you all…

Cheers

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If I stayed busy…

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Will occupying myself take away the pain…

Huge day yesterday.  First, fridge cleanup…Ev and I had been drinking enormous amounts of organic vegetable juice…trying to give her body the nutrition she needed just in case something inside her figured out it was time to beat the cancer…

In the last week we were trying to get as close to 5 pounds of carrots worth of juice into her a day…maybe just another hokey internet cure for cancer…but every single hokey cure has to be attempted…

But much of that stock of organic veg has sat at the bottom of the fridge, and yesterday it was time to remove it…it’s another memory leaving the house…and I haven’t had juice since she left me…maybe tomorrow…

Today will not be the first day I don’t cry….

So, fridge cleanup, out to the green bin, garbage day…after that I loaded the kids up for a trip to bayshore to buy a few bits of clothing.  We walked that mall from high to low and back again but the ladies did not try on a single piece of clothing…and Charlotte had enough after about an hour and a half…

The ladies did convince me to drop them off in Barrhaven to a movie, and afterward dinner at Kelseys…So a good day for the girls and a good day for them is a great day for me.

Kevin and I had a game of risk, another of blokus, and then he went home…off to cozy spaces with his wife…I decide I would rearrange the office…a room that all of us in the house like to use for some personal time, either writing, watching a show alone, playing guitar…alone time…

This morning finds that task half finished…I decided I might walk to the Auns’ for a bit of the hockey game…with some scotch.  It would be a nice relaxing evening and hopefully a release from my own thoughts…

…it was not…

I punished myself with a stage 20 breakdown…I had held in my emotions all day…maybe days worth..

It was a valiant fight….I had bottled up my tears…the really good tears, the full wrack.

Not any more, I made quicksand at Dan’s like you haven’t seen…Quicksand…

You see it’s simple…you fight against yourself for so long, building the tears up, holding onto the agony..and then…you start to crack, just a bit at first.  You can almost hold the tears at bay.  You can almost pretend you aren’t agonizing, that you are such a strong man, such a big boy!

Idiot…..nope, you can’t stop the quicksand…that first tear is all it takes and the quicksand takes hold of you…dragging you deeper into your despair.  Punishing you for holding onto your tears.  You’ve held out as long as you could and now you will pay the price, grief will not let you go until your tears have drained, until you’ve laid out your emotions.  The weight you’ve carried will be released upon the room, your friends, strangers at the next table, children wondering what has happened…

Yep..quicksand…good luck getting out of that until the tears have dried up for the day…for that moment…

Evelyn Kindervater-Wheeler and Charlotte Wheeler at Disney World

 

A beautiful day…a beautiful wife!

I love your face babe…

I have poured tears this morning…

A break to get to the weigh in….

Parker and Beagle are hard at their respective diets.

Parker is down to 262 after a banana, a large sharwarma and 4 cups of tea.  He had no food after 6:30 pm, even better than the 8 pm he promised would be his evening meal cut off.

That’s 4 pounds, not bad.  No weigh in from Beagle, but I know he is trying…

Me…I hit the scale this morning at 216.6 pounds, that after a midnight charcuterie board with Dan Auns.   I would have figured I would have been up, or at least even..but no, down again.  Tomorrow I’ll see 215 for the first time…I wonder if that’s okay or not…

This man blog began as a record for weight loss, it wasn’t about my grief, I had none.  Now I share both of these journeys and that has meant both laughs for my friends, and tears…My friends have had to share in my grief…and I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I have had to cry all these times, and I’m sorry I will cry again, the next time we meet…

But for now I will share this…Kevin Parker gets a new swimsuit
It isn’t all about tears…

Parker and Beagle are both preparing for a trip south in a couple of months, we shall see which one of them can look their best in a mankini…

Ouch…

Me…I think I may do some personal training, it struck me this morning that I might connect with Ev doing that…

Bench pressing in quicksand…that’ll be great to see at the gym, I wonder how the meat heads will take that…

The Quote of The Day:

Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that’s usually how you end up crying?
Chuck Palahniuk

We must do all the laughing we can.  And as far as laughing and crying alone goes…hell I’m talking to myself half the time these days…I walk through future shop carrying on a conversation with my wife…

There goes another one…a crazy loon.

Today I thank my neighbors, not just my street, my community…I have so much support and you know what…I need it, so thank you, thank you very much!  I thank Mary, you are helping me more than you know, and I hope I am returning that to you…

Those of you closest to me, thank you for being there to make sure the quicksand doesn’t bury me…thank you for making sure I don’t forget to breath…

I hate this….I hate this so much!  That’s it for today…I’ve got to get the cap on this for now…

Cold…then warm…snow, rice rain, rain..who knows…

Cheers

 

 

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There could be less pain…

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Pain at the Man Blog

Honestly…this sucks…

I woke up yesterday, dejected…a whirlwind of emotion…Again, there may be 5 stages of grief, but must I experience all of them every 2 hours…

The first day of a new year, new beginnings right….no way, give me a break.

But, in an attempt to move ahead with life I thought I’d deal with the cupboard above the fridge…and the top of the fridge…the space for shoving paper and receipts…

Much of the stuff up here is either cook book related, or supplements from Ev’s weight lifting comp days.  My goodness she was stronger than a bull back then.  We did have a few arguments about her lifting, and more recently about her unwillingness to consume the calories to beat cancer when she would eat an entire cow to put on a pound of muscle in the past.

You get trapped in regret…anger…you find yourself wishing you had done something different, she had done something different.

It’s super painful, because you go through periods of hating yourself, of being mad at her…then you realize it’s ridiculous because you know she didn’t want this…and then you are in pain again for being mad…

I had a terrible morning…terrible…

But you know what, I decided to go for a run…I get on my gear and go out to the driveway for a bit of a stretch…more tears…black ice in the driveway folks, tear ice…

Off I go, running, something that Ev and I did plenty of the last few months as she trained for the NY marathon.  I talked to her the entire time…inside my head and out loud…thanking her for being with me, for giving me strength to go on every day, for getting me out on the pavement so I could have time…..time to do what….love her again…feel her running with me…

I’m a loon…that’s it…but that is it…I’m out there running and having a discussion with Ev…I mean, what else would I be doing?

Today will not be the first day I don’t cry…

Home from my run, a quick sauna, finish book one on grief…it was helpful to a point but I rather just have the data…I can handle what I’m feeling without reading the example of how Jane and Bob felt when they emptied the cupboard above the fridge.

I am in touch with my feelings.  I understand that my mind is only giving me part of the information to deal with to prevent me from tying knots…I understand why I still think I will see her at the door…I understand that is a mental reflex for survival…that every time my mind permits me to understand she won’t be back I’m going to wrack out tears…

And right now I’m angry writing that down…and I understand that…

After all of that yesterday…the kids and I decided to play a board game…first a trip to mac’s milk for treats.  Wee Charlotte picked chocolate covered acai, Mommies favorite she said…wracking tears!!!!!!!!!!

Quicksand right now….damn quicksand…

Anyway, we played some apples to apples and blockus, all the kids at the table with Charlotte on my lap…wherever Ev may be, she is happy, crying tears of joy for what we are doing in life…

Not happy…not right now…not one bit…

Victor Wheeler kisses Evelyn Kindervater-Wheeler

On to other things…

Man Fat things…there are no tears in man fat…most days.

It’s on, the new years man diet.

Me?  I’m at 217.6 pounds after a late dinner of half a meat pie, some bits and bites, chocolate…random junk…and down a pound…perfect.  I did run yesterday.

Parker, he weighed in at 266 pounds yesterday, a new personal best for him…he is either going to lose weight by tomorrow or is off to buy a new wardrobe.

sean russett elliptical
Beagle has started a new diet and workout plan.

He intends to lose 30 pounds in 30 days…and I’ve seen him do it before.  This morning he hit the elliptical for 30 minutes and burnt somewhere near 405 calories…

Today he will eat chicken and rice, he will be eating that every day…and no pop.  Beagle does like a nice cold pepsi…

But he is off the pop now, water and flavor crystals of some type.

Parker…you better get it together brother…You may have missed the tid bit I posted yesterday about one of my poker buddies having a heart attack this week…but I Was Not Kidding.

This is a guy that does a certain amount of physical labour too, he isn’t selling life insurance…sure he smokes cigarettes but he is in reasonable shape…somewhere between me and you on the fat index…

So…that is good…that takes the mind off of things for a few minutes…

The Quote of The Day:

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.
Eminem

An Eminem quote…geez…eloquent…I’m not sure this guy has a high school diploma and his quotes are on the same page as those from the likes of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther and I kid not…Jesus Christ…and I could screen shot the page and post it here if anyone has doubts.

Eminem, Albert, Martin and Jesus walk into a bar……

Now that will stop the tears…for now anyway.

No snow today???  The long range forecast looked better last week when the daily highs in January were closer to minus 4 and minus 14…anyway, hopefully it goes back to the warmer highs…

Before I let you go here, I’ll give a line to Kevin Parker.  You can not have enough life insurance.  If you think you do have enough you are probably mistaken.  Take the time to give Kevin a call at 613-795-3562.  This would normally seem like a sales ploy, but honestly, take it from me…you need to have more life insurance…just in case…ottawalifeinsurance.ca

Cheers

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