Displaying all posts tagged with beer

The show begins….

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The Fat Man Blog

It’s on, Russett laid out a proclamation…he plans on losing 30 pounds in 30 days….by Thanksgiving our friend plans on coming in at 175 pounds….

So me…what do I do….agree to attempt the same.

Russett is 204.6

I’m 236.6 this morning, down from my official 30 day challenge weigh in of 238.6….and really, I’m down from 244 last week, which is when I decided I was going to do this…..diet…

The decision came during the HTG street party, some time between 11pm and 3 am….the days clearest hours.  Not a super big deal…but standing there beside Auns reviewing the crowd….it just struck me….this is too much…and Ev would not be happy…might as well dial this down a bit.  I’m not the spring chicken I once was!!!!  Do I really need 3 dinners every day?

So this is it…a diet in my life means 1 dinner…it doesn’t mean I’m restricting very much…well candy bars….I won’t be able to have 10 of those a week like I normally do but I did manage a wee bit of home made banana bread last night….it won’t eat itself!!!!  I can’t toss it out!

So…I’m just eating better, I’ve had a salad every night for dinner since monday….and not just a salad, the entire salad….oh wait…and a nice tenderloin Monday Tuesday and Wednesday…and salmon last night….So, ya, not starving.

Wait….I had a glass of red wine last night….it’s good for the heart….and the soul….maybe I should have one now….no…5:30 am….I’ll have coffee….one second………..


Okay…along with Russett and I on this journey will be Krista…she will not lose 30 pounds in 30 days…as far as I can tell from her sweat lathered facebook posts she likely has nothing left to lose…but she is one of these beach body coach people….she has a misssion.  We will include her anyway….Then there is Richard from across the street….

Richard across the street…..sorry buddy…if you read this….sorry…

Richard told a few of the HTG boys maybe 6 months ago that he was starting a diet…he weighed in at a svelt 380 pounds and his goal I believe was to lose 80 of those….so he wouldn’t be having a beer with us….well…maybe just one….ish.  An hour or so later Richard’s wife stopped by with a cookie….

…..No word of a lie the thing was as big as a dinner plate…freshly wrapped in plastic while sitting on a Styrofoam plate…the cookie was too big to support it’s own weight…..

Richard was called out on this wee treat and told us he would just be eating half….the man actually took him xmas ham sized hand and rested it on the cookie showing us the half he planned on eating…..first….

oh my geezus…..I love it.

well 6 months later and Richard says his diet start Monday….so he is in,

Oh…just remembered…Russett and I have a bet, who ever loses the least weight by thanksgiving has to buy a bucket of KFC for the other….its low carb….

Of course we will include terrible photos of Kevin Parker and Seamus into the mix…and whatever else I dig up…like this old treasure…..

Kevin Parker

Which is actually my favorite photo of Kevin…I love it…it’s not even photoshoped….not like this next one.

Kevin Parker is immortal at the man blog

So…before I close the fat man blog portion for today I would like to finish of with one important note….

This is not fat shaming.  We are fat…and obviously not ashamed….What is fat shaming anyway….feeling bad for eating too many bonbons?  Nope…we eat our bonbons without shame…..

The Lifey Bit

Charlotte asked me on Monday if I would be sharing Mommy’s stone, to which I responded yes.  I told her I would be happy to be beside mommy when the time came….it’s an odd conversation to have with my daughter but the questions do come up…and at least when I’m put in the ground I won’t be rolling solo!

Her little friend was standing beside her trying to figure out what in God’s name she was on about….but that too is the Lifey bit.

What else do we have…Syd got a new job yesterday, she will be creating ice cream wonders at DQ starting Tuesday…fun stuff…Ave is at Grandmas for Bridgitte’s wedding, Rhi is pulling in shifts like crazy and really coming out of her shell…and Charlotte has 20 hours of ice this week……….

I’ve been up since 3am…and now I’m going to attempt a the first of 30 30 day shreds with Jillian Michaels….Ev is either smiling or laughing her ass off….we shall see.

The Quote of The Day

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.
Brene Brown

What is good enough….Have I been good enough….good enough son….brother…father…friend….lover….human….

No….I haven’t been good at all of these things all the time….but I try….if I fail I try again….harder….I do try….

One thing I won’t be shamed for….sitting here writing my feelings….I will deny them face to face…but sitting here I will not be shamed….

and that kids makes me sad….

Time for some punishment….Ev style

Babe….you better hope this doesn’t kill me…..



Day 3.12 I think I got this…

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Shiiite…I did not lift yesterday…I did not run yesterday…
The wife felt like chillin and that is what we did.  Today I hate to lift…

Why not lift today?  Golf tomorrow and since I’ll be unlikely to have full range of motion in my arms I had better abstain.  Maybe not being able to bend my arms would be a good thing for golf…but I won’t risk it.

I do believe we will be running 7 miles this morning though…good for us.

Victor Wheeler, man blog
I think skinny Vic is making a comeback….I wouldn’t want to plan the parade just yet but I’ve been under 230 for 3 days…that’s a good run…

I did nothing yesterday…

Wait…..Wait for it……..

I ate 3 Golden Palace Egg Rolls Yesterday!!!!

You heard it kids, no work out and 3 egg rolls and I still weight in at 229.8 this morning!

I may have turned a corner here…I think the old metabolism has stepped up to bat.  I may not get all the color back into the beard….no that is going to be half grey…but I’m getting back down to weight…I haven’t been in the 220’s for 3 days in a row for almost 2 years.  If I can make it in the 220’s for a week that will be my longest stretch in 4 years…but I think I’m there…I’ve got it…

Beagle spent the day in bed yesterday…recovering from Florida Track Suits after Wednesday night poker.Bed time for Beagle, man blog

The legs do need a break…sometimes…

As Beagle relaxed his Thursday away Parker was up to his normal shenanigans…

What’s that?  Well selling insurance at rock bottom prices!  If you are looking for life, disability or critical illness insurance be sure to check him out at lifeinsuranceottawa.ca.

While I’m doing plugs…How about The Sweat Shoppe here in Riverside South!

Just so we all understand, you could drive to the Sport Chek and be hounded by a salesperson hired by some national corporation to sell you overpriced shoes at buy one get one at half price…


You could drive to a nice Neighborhood store like the Sweat Shoppe and buy a pair of shoes directly from the store owner that is offering buy one get one at half price…wait…you don’t need 2 pairs of shoes???  He will sell you a single pair for 20% off!!!

Check it out,


Good people selling Good stuff at a Great price.  Support the small guys!!!

Those are some good plugs right there!  I do what I can!!!

The Quote of the Day!

Most small business owners are not particularly sophisticated business people. That’s not a criticism; they’re passionate about cutting hair or cooking food, and that’s why they got in the business, not because they have an MBA.
Andrew Mason

Not my usual Quip but one that makes a good point.  Whether you run a small business out of your basement or brick and mortar…local support is of the essence to survive.

Cold…windy…but it isn’t snowing!  Tomorrow I golf and the forecast is 13 degrees and rain…wish me luck!
















Sometimes the summit isn’t the goal…

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The good news?  I spent a week in an all inclusive and I don’t weigh more than I ever have in my entire life…


I spent a week away in Cuba in an all inclusive…possibly drinking a few sodas and surviving on a high carb diet and I came back weighing exactly the same as I did……..drum roll please….when I was at my heaviest ever!

252.4 pounds

Nice!  Hey, at least I didn’t make a new record.

The trip was good, much of it spent just laying around in the sun with a good book…or 2…and walking the beach.  Almost all of that time was spent drink in hand.

The best part of the trip for me was getting to meet Paris Hilton…not the real Paris Hilton…but the fat lady that sat in front of me on the plane on the flight down.  You see the second she got into her seat she became Paris.  The new aircraft seem to have pretty good leg room, maybe they raised the seats…more space between them…I’m not sure, but when I squeeze my 6’3″ 250 pound in I feel pretty good, not uncomfortable at all.  Paris sits down and as soon as her butt touched the cotton polyester blend of her airplane seat she hit the attendant button.

I figured she had mistaken that call button for the light, it was early in the morning and the sun had not yet come up, but no…she wanted a pillow.  Which is not a free item on an Air Canada flight in economy so she decided to pass.

Over the next 3 and a half hours she hit the button 8 more times, water, pop, napkin, take my napkin away…but that’s not a huge deal…if she hadn’t of performed these actions from a laying position.

You see once the person in front of me reclines their seat all the way…I’m of the height where that person and I make eye to eye contact.  Paris is effectively in my lap…maybe she would like a head massage or a shampoo.  Anyway….a quick nod and a smile and I reclined my seat…to watch the in flight movie on the horizon…

Now I really hate to do this to myself…and you dear reader…so a warning.  just below there will be a photo of me with my shirt off…I can hardly stand looking at it myself…so look away if you’ve just crushed a meal.

white whale no more!

White Whale no more!

I’m not sure what state I was in during this photo but judging from coloration of the skin and shadow angles on the photo I assume it is sometime in the afternoon and I’ve just crab walked to the room to cool off a bit…aka nap time…aka nap time out of the sun.

I like Cuba, I like old cars and clean beaches.  I like that the locals want your money but aren’t willing to risk killing you for it…

I’m a good tipper so generally I don’t wait for drinks, there is always a table ready for me at the trough with my favourite drink waiting…

This was our first time away without kids in too many years and we spend LOTS of it just being lazy.

I did allow my wife to talk me into going with a 4 SPF sunscreen one day which was a pile of fun, I was gunning to buy an 8 or 12 at the gift shop as we only had a 4 and a 30 at home before we left.  In reality the 30 was nice and I think I’ve learnt my lesson.  The tan I have will fade away within a couple days and it really isn’t worth the agony of a 12 hour bake sporting a 4.

So the diet?  I guess I start again today.  At this weight the first 10 pounds should be easy…come on.  I’m not sure where beagle is at, he flies out tomorrow so I’m assuming he has starved all week to drop that last 9 pounds he was gunning for.  And Parker…Shakes Parker????

I’m on the guitar and code I promise…now all I have to do is lose weight…

The quote of the day:

I don’t really think, I just walk.
Paris Hilton

Be cool, stay warm!



3 buffets a day for a week…

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The trials and tribulations…that’s what it’s all about.  You see the diet part is easy, you make the choice to eat better, less, or not at all and you lose weight.  And really, the exercise part of it just speeds the process up, it isn’t required.  Let’s start with that, the sweaty bit.  It doesn’t matter if you bike. run, treadmill or lift…it’s as simple as calories in minus calories out.  You’re speeding up the transition from chunk to slim.  Lifting burns calories and putting on muscle will make you burn more…the problem is that while you’re dieting you can’t really put muscle on…unless of course you are consuming over 200 grams of protein a day…and you may very likely need a kidney in the future.

Isn't sweating fun

Isn’t sweating fun?

Truly its all about what you eat, burning an extra 500 calories at the gym won’t make a difference if you consume a single muffin…just one and you’ll have to head back for more of the gym.

As you lose a bit of the chub you burn less calories…yes even fat burns the damn things, so it gets harder to lose as you get slimmer…on diet alone.  Then there must be a punishment somewhere along the way.

MY point in all the above is this…any of us can eat right, less, or not at all and lose weight…do it one day a week do it for 21 days or do it all your life…

The problem with the man diet is all the non diet days…Wednesday night poker will never offer a salad…I could not eat at all, and have many times…but we do play some nights for 12 straight hours…I need food!

Parker tied me after the GBG Yurting trip at 246.6, he is back on the shakes and is hoping to get down to 220 I think…wouldn’t that be nice.  Beagle has 9 days to go before he heads off to Mexico and wants to lose 10 more pounds.

Me…I booked a last minute to Cuba yesterday…the diet is off for at least 8 days!

Pool Whale, the man blog

Me at the pool, the man blog

So here I am at the pool, my mojito is sweating away somewhere close by…another 3 buffet a day week…

These are the trials to the man diet…these things…it’s the living part of our life that makes us fat, yurting, poker, trips, friends, neighbors…

We aren’t getting fat at work, helping our kids with homework, shovelling the driveway…

Off I go to Cuba without a base tan and my wife doesn’t think we should pick up sunscreen?

I love a good tan as much as the next guy…I do not enjoy working through a 3rd degree sunburn to get it…I’m going to sport a 60 day one, then a 30…all the way down to that glistening oil…Bacon anyone?

You think the idea of seeing me in all my glory on a beach is scary?  Try being present at this event…this man has never held a gun before…Parker goes big!  Warning…loud gun shots and englishman giggles…

He didn’t shoot anything…which is amazing considering the size of the hill he was aiming at!

As far as my other resolutions go…I’m at the guitar every day and my coding always improving…I have a bunch of web changes I have to complete for a client tonight before I fly….better not forget that!

For those of you not flying south…it is supposed to be nice next week…stay warm!

The Quote of the Day…no truer words were ever said:

My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.
Gary Allan 

That sums it up!


And the winner is…

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Another Wednesday night poker…

cold poker

At least the cards were hot…

I actually tried to get out of this one but had trapped myself with poker chips in my truck…the last of the Yurting punishments.

I took it easy on the food yesterday, and last night…I may have had 4 or 5 ribs…plus…some scotch and beer.

All of that and guess what…243 even.  Not bad…

No word from Parker…am I to assume he is waiting for a couple days of shakes before he gives the nod to the scale?  He did have quite a few feasts on the yurting trip…all but one included syrup!

No Syrup?

No Syrup?

Maybe we will hear from him today!  I can tell you he said he’d be back on the shakes…no wide eyes for that!

Beagle is down to 195!  He is 10 pounds away from his target and 10 days out from his vacation.  Yesterday before poker he had nothing to eat…zero…nothing…nada…he did consume 1 single chicken wing at poker….one…and 10 tracksuits, at 7 pumps a piece that has got to be 26 ounces of liquor and a dozen redbulls…

I’m not sure how he is feeling today…lighter than me for sure…but the old intestinal track has got to be reeling.

Last night at poker was a ‘snow day’.  Which is called from high when we are going to consume monstrous amount of booze-ola…I didn’t get in too deep, I think I was home around 2ish, $575 in pocket to boot!  The dozen plus ounces of alcool I managed to put back aren’t leaving me in the best of resolves today but I’ve been worse…like Monday morning of the frozen yurting trip…I can feel my face today…no need to check for frostbite!

My guitar practice is coming along nicely…rocksmith 2014…it’s great!…I’m also working through Justinguitar online lessons too, it’s more about learning individual chords than is Rocksmith…it kind of teaches a method I guess…Anyway, I think if I keep up at this pace I’ll be rocking out in no time!

Oh…no gym for me this week…I should go hit the treadmill but I really don’t feel like it…har har…we will see if that changes.  My wrist is killing me…it’s swollen from dealing cards, I don’t see bench pressing as an option.  Beagle has been pounding out time on his elliptical, he sent me a photo of the screen which show he went 2 km in 23 minutes.  How do they calculate that…by stride length?  Beagle is on there trying to strike a balance between floating and flying away…2 more balloons and the entire machine will be laying up against the stipple…And we wonder why there is a helium shortage…it’s a none renewable resource Beagle, go easy!

No more balloons?

No more balloons?

So that’s it for today, I strive to eat well today much like yesterday…without the beer and scotch…I know…empty promises to myself…

Chunk is hoping to fly south too…Beagles used up all the cheap options so I guess I’ll be looking to fly via jet…hopefully one seat will be enough for me!

Beagle sent me the Quote of the day yesterday…a bit crude but here goes:

The easiest way to be Happy is to simply not give a fek what others think of you.


I think Beagle, Parker and I have that one down.

Cheerio…stay warm!


There will be frostbite.

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Let’s start with a bit of the old weight…

At this moment in time I weigh in at………246.6

Not bad at all considering the man weekend I just survived.  10 guys, 3 days, 2 nights, tents, and temperatures never above -20.

The annual GBG Yurting trip is in its 6th or seventh year, but this is the first time I’ve signed on for the punishment.

GBG Yurting 2014

GBG Yurting 2014

A great time had by all, dozens of moments I wanted to record in the man blog…most forgotten…mainly due to the fact that most of the funniest moments happen late…deep into the war against frostbite.  The weapon of choice for this war seemed to be rum, and we put back plenty of it.

For the 2 day stint I purchased 18 beers and a 26 oz bottle of rum.  I came home with 16 beer…seems reasonable considering that the bottle of rum lasted less than 8 minutes.  We arrived at the campground in Algonquin park mid afternoon, unpacked, and the festivities began.  10 guys cracking beers, a bit of outdoor darts…yes it’s minus 40 with the wind chill at this point…and I bring out the rum…

26 ounces consumed in 10 minutes…the wolf pack demolished it, luckily I was able to find the resources at a local pub for a replacement…

GBG winter dart challenge

GBG winter dart challenge

So…camp fire is roaring, many drinks consumed, darts…time to head to town for dinner.  This is something you have to get over with early, town is 30 minutes away and you’ve got 2 drivers that have had to watch the others drinking while they shiver and shudder…we’re all cold…but they are sober enough to know it!

We load up!  2 vehicles, off we go…

It’s been snowing, the 60 highway through Algonquin park isn’t pretty…half way to town the lead car pulls over, we pull up beside them and roll down our window…

We forgot Trafford!


Trafford is invisible in his camo…

Geezus…Trafford must have gone into the Yurt to change his shirt and off the rest of us fled!   At first he tells us he thought we had pulled out as a joke…that we’d return any moment….the moment did not come to pass and he sent out texts for an evac.

The car turned around and headed back for him while we went ahead to begin negotiations for a new bottle of rum.

Old Trafford left behind!

Old Trafford left behind!

Negotiations were successful with one of the patrons, we all sat down for a couple of pitchers of beer, Trafford’s return, and fish and chips for everyone!

Mad Musher

Mad Musher









Back to the Yurt for some drinks, cards, and plenty of laughs.

Now the Yurt seems warm, 10 big guys, a small heater…if it’s working…and plenty of alcohol…you’ll be fooled into taking off your sweater, it will seem like t-shirt weather in there.  Maybe this happens in Yurt 38, but Yurt 36…the one that Paul and I picked…there is no t-shirt weather in there.  The heater in our living quarters is there for looks, when it does turn on…for one minute out of every 3, all day and night long, it spits out a bit of mild warmth, but it isn’t going to overtake the -44 outside or the 1 inch gap under our front door!

Highlight of the first night, what does the Fox say?  The fox says, hand over the beef jerky sucka.

Feeding the Fox

Feeding the Fox

Hand fed the fox which was interesting, the animal isn’t much bigger than a poodle, but it’s teeth are twice as long!  Luckily for me it is more gentle than our dog at removing food from between your finger tips.

Now, the next morning while talking to the park host I came to realize that there is a $250 fine for feeding the wildlife.  Plus he did point out that if someone mistook that gentleness for say…petability…they may realize what those long teeth are for…and it could be a child thinking it might want a cuddly hug.

He is worried, and for good reason, that they would put the animal down if it bit someone, which they would have to…and a great sin it would be.

That was pretty much it for the first night, we played card games until long after midnight then I stumbled off to my own yurt…a plastic covered mattress with surface temperatures a touch colder than your refrigerator and a heater that blinks on just long enough to shake you out of your snooze…but if you could get inside your sleeping bag…and I mean all of you in it…you would survive the night.

The next morning I get out of my yurt to see the sun shining down and the temps again around -25.  Off we go into town again for some breakfast…I have the hangover special, eggs, sausage, bacon and ham plus french toast.

No Syrup

No Syrup

Parker finds out that they are out of syrup due to terrible road conditions the truck hasn’t delivered…

Ya, there wasn’t much of a man diet had by any of us this past weekend…but again, I’m only at 246.6, still waiting on Parker’s report.

Now, we did have a huge breakfast, but ahead of us was 6 km of snowshoeing and a soccer game…so off we go.

First, I did snow shoe for about a kilo, then I realized from watching Adam ahead of me that he was losing footing due to the trail just being wide enough for the snowshoes to pass one another, and that the trail was compacted so snowshoes weren’t needed…and to try these facts out off came my snowshoes…so I hiked the remaining 5 km.  The first half of which was the best, without snowshoes I could move faster than the other guys, while they were trudging along I was stopping here and there for a look.  There are still some old grown trees right beside the path, ones that 3 grown men couldn’t get there arms around…

I’m no tree hugger, but I like to take a moment…touch that tree and say a word or 2…are we out here snowshoeing to sweat or to take in a bit of the old forest?  I can sweat in the sauna…Besides, these big old trees were left behind for a reason, they clear cut this land at one point and left behind one in a thousand trees…might as well seek them out.

Next up…soccer.  England vs Scotland.  The Englishman put me on the Scottish team with an Italian because they are suckers for punishment.  Our soccer field is only 20 feet wide, so getting past me at almost 5 feet wide isn’t going to be easy!  I know…I know…chunk shouldn’t be so hard on himself…I’m no more than 3 feet wide…but now I have my snow gear on…Write goodyear on the side of me with a handfull of Beagles balloons and I’m off to the superbowl for a low fly over.

The Scottish come away victorious…although I did mangle the wrist…an excuse not to lift for a week at least, but the treadmill will be victimized.

A fine dinner of home made soup and chili, a bit of the vino, a few beers, a bit of cards…then back to the yurt to practice my Tutankhamun imitation.  Our heater has steadily declined…if there was a gas station open I could have made it to off I would have been at that point.  Slept that second night with the light on as neither of us was willing to get up to turn it off, not that it matters because I am inside my sleeping bag trying to stay warm…Inside inside.  My head too.  The only thing that would have made my sleep better was if the sleeping bag had a zipper the entire way around…it is possibly above freezing in the yurt….maybe…

I wake up at just after 4 am…I’m not sure what time it is at this point because my phone is frozen…yep…I hit the auto start on the truck and begin the gamble that a gas station is going to be open with the 70 km my fuel gauge says I have left until empty…and Paul and I only had to wait 15 minutes for the gas station in Barry’s Bay to open.

Next year…I pack a second heater…



The man diet begins again, today I will not have chocolate, no chips!  I won’t even have beer or scotch…today I diet!

The Quote de jour, a testament to the Golden Boys soccer club:

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably
William Penn

Stay warm…


I bet we could play Jingle bells….

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Snowshoeing for 5 hours???
Does that sound like fun?  Might you like a high of minus 20 thrown in with that?

Sunday-Monday this week the Golden Boys go Yurting in Algonquin park…it shall be cold!

A little winter soccer, some snowshoeing, a bit of poker…the usual guy stuff…this all done at below ball freezing temperatures…and I’m not talking about Nike world league balls either…

Yesterday was a day of recovery, Wednesday night poker may have been a moment of weakness.  There was in fact a late night blog after Wednesday night poker but although I had a few beers I still had the presence of mind to have the editor in chief review the post…

This is what made it through…………………………………………………………

A late night man blog…the first!  I’m normally refining my posts some what…and I will tonight, a wee bit less.

Half way past midnight, lost at poker.

A couple of beers, 2 wee scotches before poker……a beer, 4 – 7 pump tracksuits and a yager during…

No luck for me…not playing cards at all really, blowing off steam… a.k.a life…a.k.a stress

Diet?  No… I’ve had wings, flings, pizza and cookies…too many of each.  Shall we weigh in…no way!  But I had fun, a necessary evil…I could find another, the good book…a meeting of some sort…but a group therapy session over a few drinks and a game of cards seems fitting…and look…it works!

Conversations at the table includes the man blog of course, the midgetmax, yurting, teachers, gov workers, furnaces, how boring it is when your wife and kids are away, sexuality, fuel economy, women’s tennis, rich friends, poverty, fast cars, fat dogs, football…we run the gamut…

Parker is drinking his first beer tonight after 20 plus days, not with us…but he is at it somewhere.  Beagle is at the table…flings and all.  He only had one single itty bitty cookie though, I saved him from 11 out of the dozen!

maybe a trip to the midgetmax, it’s 24 hours on Wednesday…let’s see how they deal with cleaning up that mess! Maybe another time.

————several bits edited here——————————————-

The Quote of the Day (or night…or morning):

I keep thinking I’m a grown up, but I’m not.

LA Story

My all time favourite movie, A hundred perfect quotes about life, love and happiness await you in this 90 minutes

What else do I have but….Cheerio……….


That does not count as the quote of today…That was yesterday at 3 am’s quote of the day.  See, drunk Vic isn’t that much stupider than sober Vic!

No weigh in Until Tuesday morning, after the camping weekend.  There is a slim chance I get frostbite of the leg and it requires removal…I will then weigh in at a new low!  But I do enjoy having the second leg at this time…

Parker is posting photos of the enjoyment of beer…he is off his shakes until Tuesday…and Beagle…his vacation is getting closer so he will have to ramp up the starvation.

On Tuesday will I really start dieting?  Geezus.

My kind of snowshoeing

My kind of snowshoeing

There will be some exercise this weekend, with the snowshoeing and the soccer…but I’m sure there will be plenty of beer and deep fried food too!  We will see how that works out in the end for Parker, I’m betting some of that solid food shows up on the scale on Tuesday!

Me…It’ll be gobble as usual since I have been stuffing just about whatever I want in my face over the past 3 weeks while I’ve been ‘dieting’.

You know…it’s really cold….really.  Over cards on Wednesday we were trying to guess the heat source in one of these Yurts…it can’t be wood can it?  It’s too risky for the Government to rent out tents with woodstoves…electric?  I mean there is a heat source in these things right?  That or I guess I’m sleeping in the truck…I can’t say I’ll be cartwheeling all the way up to this camping weekend, but the boys have been doing it every year…crazy b@st@rds!

Today I’ll be trying to find the warmest gloves possible…maybe some heated underwear!  Since Dr. Weiss got his hands on me I don’t think heated underwear are much of a risk…so gloves, a sleeping bag, 24 beers, some sort of warming liquor…a bit of scotch I suppose…something to pack a lunch???a few snacks…Gone for 2 days 5 minutes outside of civilization may seem daunting to some but I think I’ll survive…besides, what’s 5 minutes…

Quote of the Day:

[as they walk to the restaurant, a loud clanging sound is heard]
Harris: What’s that clanging sound?
Roland: It’s a nuisance. It’s my damn testicles.

Another from LA Story…now come on…that’s me after 3 hours of soccer at -20.

Keep it sunny side up folks……………


Strike a pose…

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I had the misfortune of commenting on a fellow facebookers post regarding Kevin Ogar, the 28 year old crossfitter recently paralysed while competing.  And I understand her passion for the sport, she is active in it so is her spouse.

Kevin was 6’2, 210 pounds.  In great shape.  He was attempting a snatch of 235 pounds when he lost his balance and released the bar behind himself, it hit standing plates, bounced back and struck his spine.  His life is changed forever.

Initially,as she refered to the lift as successful, I commented that I didn’t see the lift as a success. Most undeniably a failure.  It became a conversation regarding our decomposition of the video available of the accident.  Being a bit of a geek I downloaded the video from Youtube, giving me the ability to break it down frame by frame I could clearly see him lose his balance…he bailed badly and got unlucky with a bad bounce. In the end she took it as an attack against crossfit, something I see plenty of CFer’s jumping too conclude, that any comment is an attack rather than a personal observation…we just don’t understand…

Kevin was a certified crossfit professional, level 1, he took a weekend course.  I note on his profile page that he also attended one or more specialty courses, although they did not promote his crossfit level.

I comment on this in regards to the fitness industry entirely, the bologna certifications you can receive over a weekend.  You see there are no real governing bodies over these certifications.  A Canfitpro certification is a piece of paper, as is crossfit, wellness coaching, yoga instruction, spin… it’s created to make money not to entirely benefit the participant.

At the gym Friday I was on the squat rack when a guy organized a seated bench under the smith machine to perform a shoulder press.  Not being a certified instructor but having worked out for decades it’s my personal opinion that a shoulder press should not be done on the smith but that’s just one fat old man’s opinion.  Besides, there were 2 personal trainers at the Plyomax at that time, one of them could give him direction.  Between sets I stand by while this guy racks out 450 pounds on the smith.  I’m out of my mind at this point as I doubt an NFLer could shoulder press 450…  He sits and the bar is set at a safety point about an inch below his max extension, he would be able to clear the safety if he had the ability…he lifts the weight…shaking and shuddering he tries to clear the safety while I watch…if he clears this safety and unlocks his arms he will be killed certainly…

Luckily he was unable to do it….he shakes and sputters…but releases the bar, writes down on his workout sheet what I suppose he considers a successful lift, and off he goes to murder himself somewhere else.

My point is…a good coach a certificate program does not make you.  If this had happened at the Anytime Fitness in Manotick one of the personal trainers would have put it to an end.  I don’t currently lift there but when I did the trainers there were always willing to give advise, for your safety and to aid in your gains…or losses, whichever you were looking for.  Now, there are trainers at that gym with the highest level of certification from Canfit, not that I put weight on that…but they took the time to go many weekends.  Plus they own the place…they are standing guard over their investments…which include the gym and it’s customers.

If a coach at the crossfit competition had thought to move the weight stack back Kevin Ogar would be walking today.

Now Crossfitters say that they push past the limits, and that is the rube.  At the gym you should stop once you can’t make a lift in perfect form.  At that point you have done too many with too much, either take some weight off and go again or take a break.  I can point you to plenty of videos, Kevin’s and others, showing lifts with terrible form, over weighted attempts.  Coaches standing by…

grumpy old fat men

grumpy old fat men

Anyway…that is a Rant…I admit it.  On to other topics…

Zizi’s kitchen for dinner on Friday…delish of course.  Ate too much and drank a few too.  You really must give it a try.

I have hit the gym steady since Thursday, again later today in an attempt to lean out.  Leg day which is moving up on my list of things to do.  On Friday I went to the gym with a bakers cyst and thought I might as well do a couple squats to see how it felt…and that on a non leg day!  Well I squatted out 300 and my knee actually feels better…go figure.  The day I hate most these days seems to be back and biceps, that day incorporates plenty of wrist and my recent break is not 100%.

Parker is down 17 pounds on the shakes, Russett probably the same, and fatty hasn’t lost anything…I have gained the strength back I lost while in a cast though, my weight should start to ween away shortly.

What gets me here, packing on pounds?  Family, injury, indulgence…  I put on 20 pounds when Charlotte came along, eating with Ev and working out less and less, a torn ACL took me away from sports, another 10 pounds, a dislocated shoulder took me out of the gym…another 10…a broken wrist…it goes on and on.

None of the above was able to slow down my eating and drinking…praise to the tiny baby geezus for that. I may not be in the shape I was in at 28, or 35… but I’m getting it done.

I know…a sombre post from Chunk today…but it is the weekend and weekend posts are the exception.

Quote of the day, for my crossfit friend:

Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
John Wooden


Happy? No…but there are eggrolls…

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Not losing weight isn’t fun when you’re ‘dieting’.  Let’s be honest, this week wasn’t dieting.  Eating late…drinking beer…No good.

Ya I hit the gym a few days but it isn’t enough.

Lost at poker last night and was home early.  Opened the fridge and had a short conversation with a take out container of red curry, it told me to eat it and grab the eggrolls.  Who am I to argue with an aluminum container.  This at what…10 pm.  This morning I weighed in at 245…its laughable really.

Parker commented on yesterdays blog that he is down 14 pounds, a pound a day for 2 weeks.  That’s good, maybe I should hit the shakes…but I can not.  I will not…I do not like to drink diet shakes.  I really need to hunker down into a couple weeks of hardcore diet…some day soon.

Unlike Parker and Beagle I have longer term goals, I want to be 220 by April.  Parker’s goal is 10 days away, when we go Yurting and Beagle is targeting a trip to Mexico in February.  At this rate I won’t even make April…but I am trying.

I’m digging through my collection of images for Parker but can’t find one suitable…so let me post his doppelganger as I did for Beagle.

The Man Blog

Parker’s DoppelGanger

He is not the one in the bikini.  Seeing as we are poking at Parker today here is an up…Looking for home, life or disability insurance?  Parker is the top rated salesperson, he is something like the only platinum broker in Ontario…maybe Canada…anyway he can get you a great price on insurance for your house, mortgage, life, disability…why not save a few bucks?  http://lifeinsuranceottawa.ca

Beagle made me help him move his elliptical from the basement to the top floor yesterday.  250 pounds up the stairs.  He took the light end and the top so he is guiding it while I’m lifting…it was a pile of fun.  The result is that I had been getting a bit of a bakers cyst which is now feeling like a tennis ball at the back of my knee.  The joys of old knees.  As the knee doc said, there is nothing that can be done short of replacing it and I’m too young to get a new knee.  I Veto’d pain management so now you wait until the water on the knee drains down into your calf…sound like fun?

As I’ve said before, don’t give me the bad knee excuse, I’m squatting heavy and putting in miles on the treadmill with this useless old joint.  It isn’t helping me lose any weight but hell…I’m trying!

4 letter words

Broken Record….trying trying trying, I’m kidding myself, fatty hasn’t even begun to try, I’m in the discussion phase of my diet.

Sadly if Beagle and Parker continue to lose and I don’t the joke is going to be on me.  Maybe it’s time for some serious punishment…

The Quote of The Day:

“God, I hate judgemental people. They’re so mean…and fat.” 

― John R. Lindensmith

Peace OUT…


No Rest For the…

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Fat? No that’s not it…
No rest for those that can’t bend there arms? Yep. That’s me.
Up at 3 am after 4 hours of sleep. I have about 80% movement in my arms…with only mild pain.
It’s been what, 5 days, I should be over this by now no? Nope, old fat man, in pain for a week for sure.
After all this…once I can move…I gotta go back to the gym and do it all again…
How does that make any sense! It’s on though, it’s a go for pain.
Let’s look at the bright side shall we?
I weighed in at 244.4 pounds this morning. Back on track at least.
How did I perform this feat?

Juicing to the oldies


Le jus.  Oui Oui.

Outside of the juice I managed to sneak in an egg, and just before bed…the gobble monster came out and fixed himself a wee snack.  All Natural crunchy peanut butter on a slice of protein pita.  It could have been worse…

Check out the protein pita, the stuff tastes good and its packing 10 grams of protein per pita.

Today I think I’ll hit the juice at some point, it’s good stuff, everyone should try it!  I’m not sure about the hype, but I do believe that pulverizing veg into liquid must provide me with some health benefit…there has to be more antioxidants in liquefied cauliflower than there are in a twix bar.  Based on color alone I’m going to go ahead and give that a nod…

Outside of that what did I do yesterday…Hot tub…watched some of the series Justified which is pretty good, I’m catching up on it…what else…what else.  Oh, I had to drive to walmart at 7 pm to get supplies to complete school projects which are due today upon the girls return after the holidays.  These things must be left to the very last minute!  Now it looks like ice rain may provide them with an extra day of the old Vacay…we shall see soon enough.

Let’s spend a moment on the Parker diet…Parker, the king of Life Insurance, is busy trying to ensure he makes a few more payments on his policy before his wife cashes it out…the skinny little bugger started off at 262 and was down to 254 when I talked to him 2 days ago.  That is serious man weight-loss.  He is on a 4 shake a day diet, serious punishment.  His goal is to be in the 230’s for the Goalden Boys Yurting trip scheduled on the 26th.  He has lost the easy 10, the man weight is gone, now the work begins.

I do believe his diet does not include much of the beer, scotch, chips and chocolate that mine has up to this point…Him getting into the 230’s is a lock I believe, personally I hope to be there this week.  I might have been already if I hadn’t tried to use wonderbar to ease the pain in my arms…VONDERBAR!  Nope, no good for arm pain.  I’m drinking scotch and Parker is drinking water while socializing…hmmm…I wonder if water IS the way to go?

We will be following Kevin’s progress here…a shot out to his website www.lifeinsuranceottawa.ca.  For those in the know I just deleted a paragraph referencing my buddy beagle…I better wait until his mancapade begins before I start discussing his diet…or lack of…

Is that it?  Probably not but I need another coffee…the last one in the house and the grocery store doesn’t open for another 3 hours…

Quote de jour (the French today is due to the French project I helped complete 5 hours ago):

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra