Displaying all posts tagged with beagle!

Surviving Wednesday Night Poker

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Yesterday I went to poker….I did not win the big bucks….I lost…

Pounds….

I had zero snacks at poker, no chips, nothing from the slow cooker, not a single cookie, bon bon, jujube or eggroll.

Zip……

Yesterday I lifted, easy exercise for the big boys.

This morning I weighed in at 230.2 pounds…maybe a bit dehydrated…we shall see.  My BMI is under 30, I am no longer obese.  The old Omron actually gave me a 28.9 BMI this afternoon at 231.

My goal…..so low….205 won’t do it I don’t think….I want that frigin Omron to offer me under 15% body fat.  I may have to get under 200 pounds, maybe as little as 185…..Russett and I will weigh the same….

Anyway….that’s the current plan.  I’m okay with my food now, I’ve kicked my addiction I think….I’m not starving….

Russett

Up…194.6…poker food.  I saw him eating brownies….at least 2….

On Monday Russett is starting the 30 day Greco no carb diet….the agony.  Russett’s goal is 185, once there his BMI will be 30.8…..He will have to lose just a few more pounds to simply be overweight….the old BMI chart…making fat people obese since it’s publication.

Russett is down a few chins right now so all this is doing some good….

Beagle tsunami at the man blog
Hitting the low carb for 30 days will likely get the Beagle under 185…that of course will depend on how low carb he goes…and the amount of cheating.

The only issue with the low carb diet…other than the pain…if you cheat, it’s over…reboot.

Krista

Krista has offered up a 152.2 this morning…losing before the official weigh in of her 30 day challenge?  Not smart!

We will be following the contestants closely…of course we won’t be getting any names sadly…I’ll have to be creative with my photos…but I’m sure we will come up with something just perfect.

So starting Monday we will have Krista and Contestant A and B ….I can’t wait!


I quick image of our 3 contestants…

It’s not hard to imagine how some might not want to release their names….for now contestant A and B will remain anonymous…but who nows….

Krista looks happy enough…maybe they will follow her lead….

Glen

Glen is down,  255 pounds….I don’t even get how he outweighs me by over 20 pounds….

So greco for him, I’ll get an update on how that is going.

Donald

Donald is still bulking….and laying low….whether it’s his involvement in the CrossFit games or simply overtime at the gym I intend to find out this weekend…until then….

Donald if you are reading this here is the link to the city of Ottawa syringe exchange …..tell me that isn’t a useful link for a drug addict……our taxes folks….

http://ottawa.ca/en/residents/public-health/healthy-living/alcohol-drugs-and-tobacco/drugs#site-needle-syringe-program

Seamus and Richard

These 2 are busy pouring through each other’s wardrobes as they switch sizes….Be careful Richard….the horror of Seamus’ past is forever haunting….

Kevin Parker
Sorry Kevin.

The Quote of The Day

You and I will meet again, When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again.
Tom Petty

Beautiful……not that photo…no

The universe has given us such a great gifts…Life, Happiness, Love….

Embrace all the good things…

Babe…I’ll keep pushing….

XO

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The show begins….

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The Fat Man Blog

It’s on, Russett laid out a proclamation…he plans on losing 30 pounds in 30 days….by Thanksgiving our friend plans on coming in at 175 pounds….

So me…what do I do….agree to attempt the same.

Russett is 204.6

I’m 236.6 this morning, down from my official 30 day challenge weigh in of 238.6….and really, I’m down from 244 last week, which is when I decided I was going to do this…..diet…

The decision came during the HTG street party, some time between 11pm and 3 am….the days clearest hours.  Not a super big deal…but standing there beside Auns reviewing the crowd….it just struck me….this is too much…and Ev would not be happy…might as well dial this down a bit.  I’m not the spring chicken I once was!!!!  Do I really need 3 dinners every day?

So this is it…a diet in my life means 1 dinner…it doesn’t mean I’m restricting very much…well candy bars….I won’t be able to have 10 of those a week like I normally do but I did manage a wee bit of home made banana bread last night….it won’t eat itself!!!!  I can’t toss it out!

So…I’m just eating better, I’ve had a salad every night for dinner since monday….and not just a salad, the entire salad….oh wait…and a nice tenderloin Monday Tuesday and Wednesday…and salmon last night….So, ya, not starving.

Wait….I had a glass of red wine last night….it’s good for the heart….and the soul….maybe I should have one now….no…5:30 am….I’ll have coffee….one second………..

Done…nice.

Okay…along with Russett and I on this journey will be Krista…she will not lose 30 pounds in 30 days…as far as I can tell from her sweat lathered facebook posts she likely has nothing left to lose…but she is one of these beach body coach people….she has a misssion.  We will include her anyway….Then there is Richard from across the street….

Richard across the street…..sorry buddy…if you read this….sorry…

Richard told a few of the HTG boys maybe 6 months ago that he was starting a diet…he weighed in at a svelt 380 pounds and his goal I believe was to lose 80 of those….so he wouldn’t be having a beer with us….well…maybe just one….ish.  An hour or so later Richard’s wife stopped by with a cookie….

…..No word of a lie the thing was as big as a dinner plate…freshly wrapped in plastic while sitting on a Styrofoam plate…the cookie was too big to support it’s own weight…..

Richard was called out on this wee treat and told us he would just be eating half….the man actually took him xmas ham sized hand and rested it on the cookie showing us the half he planned on eating…..first….

oh my geezus…..I love it.

well 6 months later and Richard says his diet start Monday….so he is in,

Oh…just remembered…Russett and I have a bet, who ever loses the least weight by thanksgiving has to buy a bucket of KFC for the other….its low carb….

Of course we will include terrible photos of Kevin Parker and Seamus into the mix…and whatever else I dig up…like this old treasure…..

Kevin Parker

Which is actually my favorite photo of Kevin…I love it…it’s not even photoshoped….not like this next one.

Kevin Parker is immortal at the man blog

So…before I close the fat man blog portion for today I would like to finish of with one important note….

This is not fat shaming.  We are fat…and obviously not ashamed….What is fat shaming anyway….feeling bad for eating too many bonbons?  Nope…we eat our bonbons without shame…..

The Lifey Bit

Charlotte asked me on Monday if I would be sharing Mommy’s stone, to which I responded yes.  I told her I would be happy to be beside mommy when the time came….it’s an odd conversation to have with my daughter but the questions do come up…and at least when I’m put in the ground I won’t be rolling solo!

Her little friend was standing beside her trying to figure out what in God’s name she was on about….but that too is the Lifey bit.

What else do we have…Syd got a new job yesterday, she will be creating ice cream wonders at DQ starting Tuesday…fun stuff…Ave is at Grandmas for Bridgitte’s wedding, Rhi is pulling in shifts like crazy and really coming out of her shell…and Charlotte has 20 hours of ice this week……….

I’ve been up since 3am…and now I’m going to attempt a the first of 30 30 day shreds with Jillian Michaels….Ev is either smiling or laughing her ass off….we shall see.

The Quote of The Day

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.
Brene Brown

What is good enough….Have I been good enough….good enough son….brother…father…friend….lover….human….

No….I haven’t been good at all of these things all the time….but I try….if I fail I try again….harder….I do try….

One thing I won’t be shamed for….sitting here writing my feelings….I will deny them face to face…but sitting here I will not be shamed….

and that kids makes me sad….

Time for some punishment….Ev style

Babe….you better hope this doesn’t kill me…..

XO

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The Return of The Scotch Diet

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Did I possibly drink a bottle of wine last night….and maybe I may have possibly followed that up with a sip…or 2…of scotch….

The silver beast stared 235.8 back at me this morning….dehydration?   You betcha!

Hell, that’s 8 pounds in 3 days….if only I had enough moisture left in my skull to pull that off another night….well who knows how low I could go….

So…I ate 4 eggs and 3 slices of toast for breakfast…a few shakes through the day…and a monster steak with salad for dinner….and the above noted liquid calories….

30 minutes of uphill running on the treadmill….

Today I lift….I’ll be sweating liquor….there is nothing but that and coffee in me at the moment….

Combatants for this round of the man blog…..

Arthur at 195 and holding

Beagle started at 201.7 and has broken the 200 pound barrier in just a few days….he weighed in at 198 this morning…198!

Ayhan the king of Turkey has nothing to lose….but he is giving it a go…he started at 189.2 and has been down then back up and he now sits at 189 even….I’m not sure if Ayhan is dieting at all…I mean the guy simply has red wine over beer and he dumps a pound a day…..

Parker….FAT…what do you want me to say…255 pounds….measly pounds……

The Spy…..his weight is a secret at this point….it’s a huge number and I’ll post it here daily even if the spy wants to keep it a secret….let’s say 285….to be fair….

Pirouz had his camera out in the gym again last night…there may be a no photo policy but he doesn’t care one bit…158 pounds.  Pirouz and Beagle are the same height if that gives you any reference….I’m just saying….

Vinnie is at it again…he will lose weight for sure now that his Cuban son inlaw has moved in….its chicken and onions every night at the stallions residence….pasta is a thing of the past!  Vin is down to 176 from 179.5….chicken is the secret kids…

The old fart isn’t playing this time around, Trafford is still pissed they swapped the carpet out of Carlingwood for slippery tile…they think a slippery when wet sign means anything to seniors….those son of a B’s are handing out broken hips FFS.

I’m not sure if the senior is secretly shaking it up or not…I suppose 40ish days from now when we are all on the beach we will check out his super old 6 pack…..the oldest ab in the Dominican Republic.

Tomorrow I’ll get a few photos of the fatties….no weigh in….no problem….

007…..get your act together or I’ll melt you on the internet…..I hate to pull photos of the spy from the public domain and attach them onto Jenner’s present physique….to be fair you should consider it.

If you’ve made it this far….I’ll tell you a secret………

I’m madly in love with my wife….she has only been gone a year…………..I miss her every damn day……

I’m trying……I really am….

Babe……I love your face…….

 

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I don’t know….hoping….

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I Don’t Know…Hoping…

You know…I don’t want to do this anymore…I don’t…

I haven’t for a long time, since almost the beginning….

It doesn’t take long for the feeling of crying, and the tears that come with it, something that feels like a release….freedom….well that feeling ends, the goodness of those tears….fades…..quickly….

It might have been days, maybe a week….but very soon I didn’t want to feel the anguish anymore….

And I didn’t want to write the man blog either…not like this….talking about grief……

But I had to, to release the pain….

And ya…it helped….me….others….ya….it helps, some days I just know I have to write the man blog….

Recently though my emotions have been much more….in check….not better….more controlled….

But that leaves…..an emptiness….and I have found ways to fill it….happily…

On my way to the pub to watch the game last night I felt the pain rising….my feelings sit in me now…unable to escape…like the sound of a TV….white noise in my life………..

How long will that last you wonder….

I went to D&D performance today to talk about an engine build…the owner lost his son in ’93….he told me he still feels the anguish…..he told me to go ahead and pour tears if I wanted to….a couple good old boys hanging out in a speed shop…..

Image if I had….Some stranger walks in and sees the two of us wracking….what a site….

I did not cry….I held my tears….

I could have easily…..maybe I should have…..maybe next time….

Lessons learned….I am not the only man’s man who knows and is able to express his pain….as this old boy wiped away his tears….and 2….the white noise will continue for a very long time……..

The Man Blog Weigh In

From the top….

Beagle is at 210 pounds.  A record breaking high for him…and no end in sight….

Parker is at 249 pounds…almost back in the 250’s

20150426_175117
Beagle does seem happy though….just look at him awaiting his nachos…

Me…I’m at 224 this morning, not too bad….and the Sens are out, thats 3 less trips to the pub per week….

I hope…

And maybe….just maybe….they will cancel the intervention….

The ladies want shawarma tonight…I will attempt to abstain….hit the sauna…battle this sore throat a bit, hopefully not the beginning of the cold Charlotte battled last week….

The Quote of the Day

The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.
Mason Cooley

Well, I’m certainly not lonely…surrounded by my children, friends and family….whatever I am has left me sometimes thoughtful and often empty….

Syd gets braces tomorrow….she can’t wait….I’ve got lots of soup to get her through the next couple of days…

Babe….I’m getting better….I love you.

Hey….XO

 

 

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Define crazy….

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Define Crazy….

I’m sure there are a lot of times that I don’t seem sane as you read the man blog….and sometimes I don’t seem sane when I look in the mirror…when I start talking to the corners…conversing with Ev….

How much do I talk to my wife…..

Every day….yes…

Every hour….ya………..

So far an hour has not passed that I don’t actually talk with my wife…oh that’s right…she isn’t here……….but I still go on and on, luckily most of the time I have these quiet conversations in my mind…

But not always….and when I start yelling at the corners….well then I wonder just how sane I am…yesterday I argued with the corners, questioning Ev as to why she wouldn’t eat more….you can’t beat this without feeding yourself massive amounts of food….eat eat eat…….

Today will not be the first day I do not cry……..

Sadly my wife lost her fight…and you know what, she was likely going to at some point…whether taken quickly as she was, or slow and painful breaking her heart….I could fight my tears for her, pretend to be strong…but the kids would not have been able to and that would have made her so unhappy…she was too strong to have to watch slowly fade…………..wracking……..

So ya…I yell at corners….but I just want more time….I scream for one more day….

The day of Charlotte Wheeler's birth

One more Day!!!!!!!!!

This photo of my beauty is of the day of Charlotte’s birth….my poor babies………you know what made Ev super happy, wonderfully proud….her girls…

So strong and so smart….she could see her strength in her girls, and little Charlotte doing her burpies and her down dogs…when Ev found out she had cancer, in the hospital when she was wracking out speechless…she moaned Charlotte…knowing that Charlotte was too young for her to leave………..

I Hate it……..

I almost made it the entire day yesterday, after the man blog….but when Syd came in to show me an old video of her playing the guitar, Ev’s voice clear with pride in the background….it was over, and an evening wrack session was on me…

As luck would have it a buddy sent me an invite to watch the game at that moment, which I took him up on….ya…a few moments distraction…..

Lover….I will take good care of our babies….I promise…

Weighing in After Bulking Up

Did I crush a pound of chicken wings, a chocolate bar, a dozen chocolate covered almonds, a bowl of chips and half a cinnabun after 9 pm last night….

um…..ya.

So the boys have been posting a few glamour shots from their vacations…

There is Paul…sending his photos from the Dominican…I commented on his facebook that you know…I am thinner than he is…

I am….

Then there is Beagle…looking thinner…for suresean russett

I mean, yes I had great plans for this photo…I really did…and maybe tomorrow we will move forward with those plans but for now…

Meh…Beagle lost a bunch of weight…enough not to embarrass himself too badly at the beach…

Will I be able to do the same?  We shall see…I’m not sure pounds of chicken wings are going to get me under 210 in the next 12 days but…

Whatever…I hate to punish myself too much…

Like my buddy Andy Trafford, burning through a pair of supportive shoes and compression stalkings a week….trudging through Carlingwood to the swinging beats of Duke Ellington and his orchestra…

 

Skinny Trafford hits the scale this morning down .2 of a pound to 168.4, it’s lost weight….

 

Nothing from Parker…maybe he has faded away to nothingness…but I have my doubts.

 

I was up this morning at an even 215 pounds, but a pound of chicken wings after dark pretty much guarantees there is no way you are going to see a down tick on the scale.

Look at Beagle…some Mexican man just walked away with his burrito and Beagle wants to be sure he can identify him in a yet to develop police line-up…

Today I will crush some weight…I think…it is early…

The Quote of The Day

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Orson Welles

Not all quotes need to be mystic….this one does apply to me and many of my cohorts…

May we all share the joy of our lives…help each other through the tough times….and boys….let’s raise a glass to my wife………

let’s wrack out Vic….

Babe…I love your face…

Today I thank my family, My Mother and Sister for helping me out, My Mother-inlaw and my new Sisters…I thank my daughter Sydney, she is not only smart and beautiful…she cleaned the house last night…amazing…and my other babies, Avery, Charlotte and Rhiannon…for putting laughter into my life every day.

I love you all.

Not too bad out…and no snow…imagine that….

Have a GREAT day!

 

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Day 3.22 Apple what? And Beagle’s Treadmill Workout Special…

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Apple picking did the rounds at our house this weekend, there are a couple dozen apples doing their thing on the kitchen counter right now.

They weren’t alone….

will apples make you fat, man blog
There was an apple donut…gone

My wife knows I love a good pecan butter tart, and a pecan apple butter tart makes a good substitute.

Gone   TIMES 6…you heard right…

Wife said she wouldn’t mind an apple pie…I baked one up…and immediately crushed half of it….

Does that sound bad?  I also crushed a half bag of jelly beans this weekend…plenty of bread…it’s like I’m carb loading for the competitive television watching…

I didn’t run this weekend, today I do plan to get out and run…probably alone as the wife ran the half yesterday…wet.  No good.

I better do something, I weighed in this morning at 230.8 pounds.  I’m not sure that apples make you fat, you’d have to eat plenty of them…but if you surround them in liquid sugar and pastry…I think I’m on to something here.

Little Charlotte should be back to school today and I can get back to taking off a few pounds, her cold is gone and I’m only a day or 2 behind her.

Beagle’s 3 Day Treadmill Program at the Man Blog

Beagle has not yet started his man diet, still searching for a suitable replacement for coke, he loves his sugary drinks…

He has offered up a beginner Treadmill Program, it’s sure to be a hit!

Like any good workout program it’s good to start off slow!

Beagle's treadmill workout Day 1, man blog
We’ve all made the same mistake…start a new program and go too hard…

The dreams of seeing your willy again over take your good sense and you are out there running, squatting, pushing, pulling…next day…pain…agony.

It can be excruciating….the T-rex inability to use full range of motion in the arms…the unwillingness to climb stairs…the pain of squatting onto the throne…

It’s this sort of agony that has made Beagle quit in the past….”The hell with my willy”, Beagle was quoted as saying, “I’ll follow the stream to locate it’s where abouts!”

The ingenuity of this fellow….

Soon Beagle will find a replacement for soda…then he will be publishing part 2 of his 3 part Treadmill series…I hope for the best!

I will strive to get weigh in updates today, I expect Kevin has stayed even now that he is ‘eating right’ rather than on shakes…Beagle…up to 203 is my guess.

Tomorrow I’m under 230…guaranteed!

The Quote of the Day:

You’ve got to listen to the universe, to life, to God, whatever you want to call it. Because its going to speak to you.
Jillian Michaels

It was Jillian’s day today…I could have mocked a statement she made in regards to her understanding how hard it is to stay in shape as a mother…of course she was just talking about scheduling issues…she adopted…

Anyway…I listened to the universe this past weekend…The lord of apples and pastries did speak to me many times…I may have been talking in tongues at one point, overcome with a mouthful of apple pie and trying to respond to my wife…Charlotte was busy making bracelets with her grandfathers…it’s creepy…she’s never met them…bends the mind.

Cloudy…colder…no shovels yet though…

Cheerio

 

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Day 2.15 …The big show is about to begin…

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Running for my Life? Or Death? The Man Blog

Ran 5 miles yesterday, 12 degrees, windy…raining….

Cramping up like crazy…sore knee…killer back…starving…I could go on and on…

But I did it, DONE, finished…5 measly miles, or let’s refer to it as 8 km, sounds a bit bigger no?  Sadly I’ll have to go twice as far tomorrow, 16 friggin K’s…the pain…
zombie run, man blog
All this running is making for a lot of ice on the old knee in the evening.

Is it bad when it hurts to press the gas pedal in the truck?  Anyway, it’ll get better…or worse…

Today I think I’ll break down and go in for a massage, I generally don’t sign up for the punishment but seeing as we do own a wellness center offering the service I may as well attempt to get a knot or 2 worked out of the old back.

Hopefully the punishment isn’t to severe, it’s not good for business for those in the waiting room to hear me screaming in agony…

Geez…babbling…anyway, went to the Mow last night to meet up with the golden boys, another good night.  Had 3 beers and a plate of nachos…I know, not on the diet…came home at 8:30 and thought I’d watch a movie…late night bag of Quest chips and some nuts???

Good diet?

Well I weighed in this morning at 232.6  The beer diet works.

The big show is about to begin here at The Man Blog

Parker is hitting the shakes, September 1st…Beagle is pushing iron…it looks like we have a good old fashioned fat fest!
3 fat amigos, man blog
Parker is going to hit the shakes again…youch..Beagle is pushing Iron, and I’m punishing myself any which way I can.

I’ve got a head start, I’m already down and holding steady in the low 230’s, I’m pretty sure I’ll see 229 on the scale this weekend, if only just for the moments between running and rehydration.

Plus the kids are back at school in 2 weeks and I’m heading over to the goodlife to compete with the Beag.

That buggerer Parker had me scrubbing up my premier league picks last night…too much work, thanks doink…

Anyway, stay tuned…but I warn you guys, I’ll be 225 by September 1st…you’ll never catch up!

Quote of the Day:

Everyone in this world is somehow connected. So why not just be nice to everybody.
Richard Simmons

This quote is best when imaged as Richard’s spoken word…but it makes good sense no matter what.

Another beautiful day for penguins…wet…cool…

Enjoy

 

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Day 2.14 …the half gainer…

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Poker last night…lost…it all…oh maybe not…I gained weight!

it’s no wonder, 6 egg rolls, a few chips, 5 beers…home at midnight…might as well call it a cheat day and enjoy myself…a bit of toast and peanut butter for my 3rd dinner…

half gainer, man blog

man blog half gainer…

What we have here is a cheat day right…a reset of the old metabolism, make the bodacious bod do a bit of calorie burning…okay…

Add beer…hmmm…let’s hope this works.

Hit the scale this morning up 2 pounds at 235.

It was worth it though, I really do like egg rolls, a lot…and I like peanut butter toast and I like to eat…it’s not like I don’t eat every day, but once in a while it’s nice just to stuff it in there.

We did not run yesterday, put off until today.  After laying flooring and doing tile I just didn’t have it in me to put in 8 kilometres…today.  The plan is to run one km ish out, sprint 5, and run the rest back…ish…

Then skip tomorrow and run 16 kilometres Saturday, I’m so excited.

Beagle worked out yesterday, he is back at it folks.  I’m not seeing it as a long term prospect as he is off to Malone next week and I don’t see him squeezing in the bench press between beers.

Sean Russett, yoga workout, man blog

man blog yoga…

Beagle sure can flex it out…I’m not sure that the hip joint is going to make it long term…but way to open up to a new workout routine Beagle!

Let’s be honest though kids, we can’t do nothing and expect to make it to the finish line at some old age…

I’m not saying we have to get out there and run marathons, or even hit the gym every day…but a nice walk…at the very least.

Beagle back on the weights is a good thing, and as much as he hates doing it…we all want to push big weights over our heads…using muscle…the good old fashioned no cheat workout.

Dumbbells.

Try and cheat up a dumbbell…You like teeth…cheat a dumbbell bench.  You like conciousness…cheat a dumbbell snatch…

Quote of the Day:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

I do what I can folks.

12 degrees…in August…go for a run…work up a sweat…

Cheerio

 

 

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Day 2.10 …There will be pain…

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Happy Monday!

What an impressive weekend.  I woke up Saturday to 13 kilometres…done.

How was it?  It sucked.  Painful, tiring, it wasn’Forrest Gump running at the man blogt any fun at all…but I did it, it’s done.

Once finished running 13 km at 230 pounds one must ice the sore spots…there are a few.

13 seems like nothing though, next Saturday it will be 16 kilometres…then 18, 20…it goes on and on.

Why punish myself?  My wife is running the NY marathon and I’m going to train for it with her.  There is a slim chance I’ll run one myself, the Niagara marathon runs a week or 2 before the NY and if memory serves me correct it’s a good run, downhill…

I’m willing not to bother at this point, mainly because I believe this training program we are doing tops out at 32 km and I don’t think I’ll be willing to push myself the extra 10 for any reason…it wouldn’t be my first rodeo as I punished myself through a marathon in the past…and it included many miles of rum soaked pain…

Yep, 10 years ago when I was thin I used to go on vacation to run, travel around just to run races…moron…

While driving to pick Syd up from babysitting Saturday night I thought I saw Beagle running…some dude, red hoodie, under 5’2″, late night incognito jogging…could it be Beagle?  I mean it really could have been him…the incognito hoodie makes sense…the late night running…hell I’ve done that when I started running…

I had to ask…a quick text to Beagle…did I see you running last night?

Response…was there a bear chasing the guy?  If not then not me…

Sean Russett bear attack, man blog

…some of these gifs I know the guys don’t appreciate…but I really do think Beagle is going to like this one.

Anyway…no bear so I guess that was another neighborhood guy out trying to lose a pound or 2…late night incognito running.

And I understand it, it’s frigin embarrassing to be out running trying to lose a few pounds.  Fat doesn’t flow just the way it should when your feet are trying to pound it off on the pavement.

This dude was doing it right though, running right out there on the blacktop, avoid the sidewalks…at 200 plus pounds you can really feel the difference on the pavement over the concrete…you can actually feel the ground give away a wee bit under your weight…a little bit of cushion…

Sad really…that a surface as hard as pavement has a softer feel under all my weight than concrete…

We take what we can get I suppose…

So…13 km’s and the silver beast still has me at 232.8 pounds.  I must break through the 232 barrier this week.  Then again poker is just 2 days away…today we give it a good college try.  Plus I will be doing a bit of carpentry Tuesday and Wednesday that should help…although I beat out a deck with roof yesterday and it had no effect on the bottom line…

I even put beer in the fridge to help with the pain and didn’t drink even one drop…seems my only drinking these days is Wednesday…poker night.

This will be the least I’ve drank over a summer in all my years…

And still fat…what a joy!

Tomorrow is another day, let’s hope another pound along with it.

The Quote of the Day:

I’m the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.
John Candy

There aren’t a lot of John’s quotes published on the net, maybe outside of character he didn’t have a lot to say…

Looks like a wet week ahead although today is nice and sunny, get out there and sit in the driveway before you have to shovel it…

Cheerio

 

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Day 2.8 Fat Mexican

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I burnt dinner last night and it didn’t take a whole lot of arm twisting to sign me up for another small  burrito.

Painfully eaten late, 7 pm dinner.  Which is killer on the scale in the morning, I’m at 232.8 pounds right now…

meh…

Also skipped yesterday’s 5 kilometres, it’s going to happen this morning, shortly…

Beagle did a weigh in yesterday to let me know he hasn’Helium diet, man blogt been putting on pounds…

It seems like a lot of work, preparing to get on the scale over at Beagles house…now there is a chance this isn’t happening…but visually, it seems likely.  Filling up all those balloons before getting on the scale…

He claims 204.5 pounds.

This is an amazing thing…I witnessed him consume 13 track suits, a Mega sized bag of doritos, a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies, a bag of sour kids, 18 oven backed nachos, and 2 sloppy joes on Wednesday night…that is 7000 calories not including the booze…let’s call it 9000 just to be safe…

Parker sent an invitation to head out for an 8:30 pint last night…something I do miss…but after a 7 pm dinner I’ll just be converting perfectly usable calories into fat if I follow it up with a beer…

That can’t happen this week, no beer near food…must get into the 220’s…must…get…there…

The beer diet can work, with likely better end results than the helium diet…but neither can include the fat cocktail of food and alcohol…that would be too easy and it’s a choice that skinny men everywhere have had to make.

I wonder which is cheaper?  Beagle, how much is helium?

During my 8 km run on Wednesday I was thinking about a guy I know that is currently working out a local gym with the help of one of their personal trainers…for the sake of the post we will refer to this guy as Andy so that we don’t have to think of him as this or that guy…

Anyway, about Andy…an active, retired guy, lots of time on his hands…tall guy…tall like Beagle…taller than a 12 year old…this is good because he works out at the local gym  which is convenient for anyone under 5’8…think equipment for shorter people…

So…Andy enjoys his personal trainer, a level 1 CanFit Pro instructor…he pays this guy maybe $75 an hour to watch him work out and assist him, drive him…what have you.personal trainer

I understand the need for a little motivation…

A kick start towards your goal to get better, stronger, faster…but kids…become a personal trainer!

In 3 short days, the course of a weekend, you too can become a certified fitness professional!

Want to yell at fat people?  Help old men get fit? Work with sweaty beauties every day?

Take a course.  There are many 1 to 3 day options for your enjoyment.  CanFit Pro, Crossfit, Spin…whatever suits your fancy…  Get your Certificate today!  Join the greatest scam of all time…making people believe that you know more than they can learn in a few hours of reading on the internet…

I’ve been through this fitness scandal before…but deaf ears I’ve mouthed off to a few.  If you must pay a trainer, look for the trainer with the highest level of certification backed by a University education.  They exist, they aren’t just going to put you through ‘the moves’.

Maybe Andy will take a cert program at some point….maybe then he can post random crap regarding our health…sort of like I am right now…

But I’m not asking for your money…this is all free folks!  Save your pennies for Helium and Beer!

The Quote of the Day:

My mom was such a strong character. I don’t want to say she was like a man, but she was tough.
Lance Armstrong

Hey…he said it not me…

I often wonder what I’d look like today if I had done steroids for the past 10 years…likely tiny bools…

Sunny…warm…humid…maybe?  It’s 4 am so I’m guessing.

Cheerio

 

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Day 2.7 The beer diet is on!

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Le me start today off with another review, yesterday’s review of quest chips might have been unfair.  Mainly due to the flavour, the salt flavoured ones aren’t fab in any way….

But the BBQ Quest protein chips which arrived at my doorstep a day later….they aren’t bad.

quest bbq protein chips, man blog
On the BBQ chips Quest has it figured out, put enough flavour on the chip to ensure that the fading texture of the chip is not the only thing on your mind.  As I noted yesterday, the salt flavoured option has possibly 7 grains of salt in the entire bag…

Or I got a bad bag…maybe I’ll try another later today.

Anyway, at 21 grams of protein, the bbq quest chips are pretty good for anyone trying to restrict carbs, plus they are gluten and soy free.

So…poker night last night.  I managed to get out of there at 1:30 am, not bad.  And with a bit of the cashola in my pocket.

I did not eat a thing….agonizing.  I did consume 7 beers in the 7 hours of playing.  Coors light, not the heaviest of beers.

And the Silver Beast?  A new low 232.2 pounds.

The beer diet works!

That and maybe the 8 km I ran yesterday.  I only have to run 5 kilometres today, sprints….baby Jesus, tiny little swaddled baby jesus, baby jesus in a manger with goats, a donkey and a camel….please allow me not to have a heart attack…

There…another thing off the list.

Beagle proclaimed yesterday that he is unable to motivate himself to lose weight at this time.humpty dumpty, man blog

Well let me try to assist here kind sir…

Beagle claims to be at 205 but I don’t see it…I hate to say it buddy but the 10 cokes you had yesterday may have laid on some additional pounds.

Might be better to practice the Beer diet at work.

I’m not saying you don’t look good…you look John Candy good…you look Chris Farley good…

Hey…we aren’t getting any younger kids.  There are times while I’m running down the road when the pain starts to creep up on the left side of my chest…I’m fat and I’m chugging 230 plus pounds down the road…the heart is taking a beating.

But I’d rather die trying than stroke out of it sipping a coke…no offence there stretch…take my advice, we eat too much…it’s that simply.  No need to kill yourself running, and it’s tough not to eat 12 egg rolls, I know…but how the hell are we going to look if we survive to see 50?

Okay, I’ve seriously abused Beagle enough for one day…let’s move it along.

Allow me to talk about how much food many of us grown men consume.

TOO MUCH!  That’s why I’m fat.  It isn’t the beer.  A man can drink a few beers here and there without packing on pounds.  It’s the consumption of massive amounts of food!  Too much buddy, too much…

Wow, super abusive…I almost feel bad…wait..what is that?  Almost…

Hey, I’ve been fat for 5 years now, and I may very well fall off this attempt at ‘dieting’ aka, eating better, like I have 986 other days I’ve tried to get my gobble gobble back under control.

I’m a food addict.  But I’m getting better…

Quote of the Day, a favourite of mine:

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

A wise man, a prophet.

Looks like a good day, they are getting shorter, get out there and enjoy that sunshine!

Sorry Beagle….fat bastard…

Cheerio

 

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Day 2.6…some things stay the same.

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5 km of pavement pounding yesterday did nothing for the bottom line, which is currently at 235 pounds.  You’d think all this running would have a more positive effect…

Ya ya…well it is, I was a bit heavier yesterday, decimal places, today I’m 235 even.

themanblog.ca, sprinting, fat sprinting
Today I have to pound out 8 km and tomorrow another 5!

The 8 won’t be too bad but the 5’s suck…

Why?  Speed work you see…

5 km split up into 100m dashes…the agony!

run 100 meters, to the edge of death, break 60 seconds, run 100 meters again, and repeat until you cry blood or you accumulate 5 km, which ever comes first…

So far that hasn’t been too bad, it is only 5 k, but soon those 5 k’s are gone and become 7’s, 8’s, 10’s.

10 km of speed work is really going to suck…

I wish, baby jesus, tiny little fat baby jesus, that my wife decides this marathon training wasn’t for her and goes back to the fitness competition…there we can go to the gym every day and lift weights, workout the easy way rather than try to kill ourselves on the black top.

Now, I’ve done some hard workouts in my life, high rep, fast, no break, out of breath rep max…but it’s gravy easy for a big guy in comparison to pounding pavement…the slow death.

If anyone tells you different, they are cyclists…

A review perhaps…why not.  Quest chips.

diet chips, low carb chips, quest chips, protein chips, man blog
Before ordering up these babies I did take the time to read and view a couple of reviews…

Lies….

Now if you were on a strict low carb diet and NEEDED to have chips….

I mean if you really needed to have the salty crunch of a chip and wanted to enjoy the subtle salty fried potato chip taste….

THESE ARE NOT FOR YOU!

If you’d like the recipe for these chips here it is…

1. go out to the garage and dump the empties out of a case of beer

2. take the empty cardboard case, cut it open and lay flat on floor

3. pour milk over cardboard to saturate and sprinkle a healthy load of flavourless protein powder, enough to get you to 21g of protein per serving. (this should soak into wet cardboard)

4. take 7 grains of salt, distribute as you please.

5. Let dry in hot sun

6. break up into octagon type shapes and consume.

Sound good?  Enjoy.

Yesterday I did manage to eat a bit of fast food, the wife wanted a mucho burrito so I crushed a small one…I would normally get the mega sized portion and smother it but not this time…it was sub 1000 calories for sure.

Well Beagle saw that Parker started training when he read yesterday’s Man Blog.  In the spirit of competition he has taken up a training plan of his own.

Sean Russett
This is going to be quite the competition.

I see that Beagle is taking this very seriously.

This is a super skinny panel to write random idiocy in so I’ll just babble for a moment…

There, that about does it…

 

That Beagle is doing hill sprints…he’ll be the skinniest one of us soon Parker, you better boogie it up!

Poker Wednesday….should I go?  The pain.  If I do it will have to be an early night, home at midnight…without beer possibly…I have to get the pounds back on track…

We will see….

The Quote of the Day:

People should stop poking fun at other people and worry about themselves.
Pauly Shore

Does that quote stand?  I may have to download Encino Man…

I’m not running until 10 am the wife says, in the sweltering heat, SOB…and I only have to sprint 3 miles out of the 5…

Hot out…if you see a fat man laying on the side of the road…please stop and get me…

Cheers

 

 

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