The Mirror….

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This is not the first Man Blog I’ve written since the last you’ve read, wordpress has a few bugs and it cost me a post last weekend before Charlotte’s hockey.  I thought I’d pour a bit so that I was on top of it at the rink….it worked, and I didn’t have to share……

Today I don’t have to write the man blog, I feel fine……things are as good as they get at this point in my life….and that’s pretty good.

I miss Ev terribly.  I think about her more than I should I guess…..way too much probably….

I haven’t had too many serious breakdowns….tears in the Movati parking lot talking with a friend, sure.  It’s simple though….I love that woman and I miss her….I miss her loving me….something I was thinking about before I managed to open up this post even though I had planned to write it this morning…..how much I miss Ev loving me…..

It’s not like I don’t have lots of love in my life…I’m well loved.  I have 4 daughters!  But I do miss Ev’s love….it was something I really loved…..

Hockey this weekend was a success, Charlotte enjoyed it.  I guess I’m a hockey Dad now, Ev would be very proud of how well Charlotte is doing….she glows with happiness.

Ave is trying out for all the high school sports just as I hoped she would and doing great at it.  Her grades are also really good so far….I think she is going to do amazing things….I’m so proud that she is following in her mother’s footsteps….I see so much of Ev in her.  I hope she does too, I do try to remind her……..

memories….geez…We golfed Kanata Lakes on Monday, Monique, the bar cart woman, and I were talking and she told me her mother passed when she was 3…..zero memories…..and on the way to hockey we passed Ev’s old Merc….Charlotte didn’t remember it at all…..I sold it 15 months ago and it’s already been erased from her memories……..I told her we would watch some videos of Mommy….the few we have….

Oh my God that makes me sad…..I wish she could know her mother….her power…….which is exactly what I told Monique…..she misses out on meeting a real life superhero………..

throat hurting…….

7am….just woke up the kids….I better make some lunches.

The Quote of The Day

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection. Thomas Paine

I’m not so sure…………

When I was younger I used to stare at myself in the mirror….an animal staring back.  Trying to figure out what was inside of me……

Now I look in the mirror searching for Ev…….I no longer talk to myself when I look into the mirror…..my words are for Ev.

Babe…..I love your face.