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I spend plenty of time in my house in one room….an office…

It’s a good little space and while I’m in here the kids can have the living room to watch their shows…..

While Ev was alive I spent time in here also, but most of the time we lay around on the sofa watching TV, cuddling Charlotte….in those days….the “good” days, I hung pictures in this room…..a drawing of Cobras a friend bought me, one I picked up at Canadian Tire too…the old cobra, just like the one I built….

Other pictures have always hung in here too….photos of Ev and I, one of just her….one of my favorites of her….looking at me….searching for something in me……………..

This morning I hung our family photo in here that was at the shop and I wondered if this will become a good or bad space for me………….

I miss Ev a bit too much these days….I’ve always missed her terribly every day but now that I face new challenges in life it is magnified a bit….that her hand isn’t in mine….her arm isn’t around me…..

When Ev touched me it just wasn’t the same as anyone else…..she touched me with a purpose I guess….it felt different…….

I really miss that……I’m searching……I look for her everywhere……..

It’s terrible really….it shows how little I’ve managed to get better…..

I considered this morning if I should take these pictures down……I wonder if at some point I have to pack Ev up into boxes….

wracking…….

I’ll be back to Brockville this morning to pick up Lola, I hope to get the ladies to Calypso and La Ronde this week….We haven’t missed a trip to La Ronde since Ev and I met….a summer tradition that won’t end until Charlotte outgrows it.

The Quote of The Day

I can’t believe that we would lie in our graves wondering if we had spent our living days well. I can’t believe that we would lie in our graves dreaming of things that we might have been. Dave Matthews

I’ll stop by and visit Ev today….I’ll dream of digging a hole and laying down beside her……….

Babe…..I see you in every cloud….every shadow….I’m sorry I just miss you too much…………