Monthly archives January 2016

Just the skinny….

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Is it Friday….yep, we all made it again…and hot dog and toboggan day with the bigger 2 off due to exams…you know what that means!  2 less lunches and the 2 I had to make….no sandwiches!

Hey…the little gifts a parent is happy to see.

What did I weigh in at this morning…239.8 pounds…under 240!  And down 5 pounds since Monday…low carb!!!

Do I enjoy going low carb…no sir…but I did up my carbs yesterday a bit, a high protein salad added about 24 grams although I think it only net 6, plus 1 and a half quest bars….another 8….2 whole eggs….3….lets throw another 10 in to be fair.

Less than 30 grams of carbs all in….no beer folks, no scotch either….I haven’t had a sip since Sunday…this evening the boys are getting together after work….at least one scotch….I deserve that!

Or not…depending on who you ask….lol

Anyway, I think I might be able to get pretty close to 230 if I can keep this up for the next 18 days….I mean half a pound a day…I spent an hour on the treadmill yesterday!  Have you seen what 240 pounds looks like on a treadmill….not pretty!  The sweat….my god…..

Good old Kevin Parker joined me on the treadmill after he pushed a bit of weight yesterday, he told me he felt strong after a few days rest…

Parker weighed in yesterday at 254 pounds….he is working hard though…harder than he ever has I think.

Beagle

Groundhog day for Beagle, his metabolism is reeling from diet red bull I presume…

man blog, groundhog days

Pirouz, Arthur, Ayhan and Vinnie

Arthur is away at a hotel somewhere…no weigh in…but he is doing the hotel gym every day.  Vinnie is eating pasta, Pirouz is down 2 pounds…off the rice…and Ayhan is way down at 187.6

Ayhan say “but Turkish dinner on Saturday, Layla Turkey soon.”  okay….if you say so.

Old Dusty Andy Trafford

Andy is also having a groundhog day…I think once you’re down to bone….it gets tough to drop even on the shakes…My advice Andy…get your skinny old butt over to the Carlingwood and walk some laps!

Andy Trafford walks the mall

The Quote of The Day

So, What if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things.  One at a time.  Just let your pile of good things grow.

Rainbow Rowell

I mean with a name like that…it’s hard not to.

But honestly kids….why not….seek the good things….its as simple as putting a smile on a cashier’s face….

How easy?  The next time the cashier asks how you’re doing….say fabulous….watch in amazement….

I’m going out for a beer this evening for a good round of man hugs from the boys….good times!!!!

Babe…another wonderful night here, and many more to come…..I love your face….missing you always.

And I fuking wrack….

XO

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Just Fat Men Today…..

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Okay…since Monday I’ve been hitting the low carb diet…so much fun.

Let’s start with the important things I can NOT have.

Beer

I also can’t have breads, candies, cookies, donuts….the good stuff….that stuff is all gone.

Can I keep this up for the next 3 weeks….If I do…I’ll be close to 20 pounds lighter, I know, I’ve been here before.

A few years ago we did the 21 day sugar detox, I think mine ended up being 18 or 19 days due to a weekend trip with the boys to Tremblant….I lost 18 pounds I think…Facebook just offered up a memory, the end of the sugar detox at Tremblant this day in 2013….go figure…..

This time around I’m in the gym every day, I almost feel that I’ll lose less because of that…part of those 18 or 19 pounds last time were certainly muscle.

I’ve been in the 240’s lots in the past 5 years, when Ev told me she was pregnant with Charlotte I put on 40 pounds pretty much instantly….so did she…of course she took hers off.

Now, the 241.4 pounds I weighed in at this morning aren’t the same 240 something pounds I was 2 years ago….I’m bigger….less fat…more muscle.

To get to 220 at this composition is going to be a lot more work than it used to be……when I was just fat….

While we are talking about just fat….

Kevin Parker

Has Parker been to the gym in a week…I don’t think so.  I have heard a few excuses though…and he might have sent a text that he was just leaving the pub…this morning…after 1 am….

Well Kevin…..the last weigh in you offered was 254, I’m a betting man so I’ll hazard you’re 256 this morning….did you notice that I wasn’t at the pub last night.

beer-belly22

Old Old Old Old Andy Trafford

Ancient Andy Trafford hit the scale this morning at 179 even.  He tells me he is on nothing but shakes for the next week….20 days until the beach fossilized Andy Trafford….why just starve yourself one week?

Where is that bit of paper that has our this round starting weights on it….damn it…..wait…there it is….crap…Andy started late he isn’t on it….one sec…..looking back through 100 texts….where oh where…..ah…not bad, Andy did start at 187 so he is still down.  Only 9 pounds away from his goal too….

dinosaurs-amp-paleontology-in-the-classroom

The headline on this photo was 135 million year old dinosaur fossil found….Andy….is this one of your dogs?

Vinnie

177.5 pounds….that’s up for Vin.  Dude….light pasta man, give it a shot……

dodgeball-goodman-fat

Is this a photo I need to photoshop Vinnie’s face onto?  NO SIR!

254779_10150263380656675_2898641_n

What is that?  Vinnie………..

Ayhan and Pirouz

Both of these 2 offered up excuses for their weight gain this morning…..Ayhan blamed Raki….lion water….I’m not sure Ayhan.  Pirouz at least came up with something you can live off of….Iranian rice?  Who knew.  Priouz says Iranian rice is to an Iranian was beer is to the rest of Europe….

See….this is why they don’t need alcohol in Iran….they have rice!

Ayhan….190.6

Pirouz  159

5fld99

Beagle

Beagle had poker last night….every Wednesday…I did not go…to many wonderful carbs and boozy treats for my simple mind to resist…..But beagle….how many treats did he manage…

Let’s not think about what Beagle ate before poker…

At poker….2 pulled pork sandwiches….Cheetos….Jelly beans…and 8 track suits…

8….If you’ve had 8 6 pump track suits you have no idea how many you’ve had….diet red bull though folks….like normal red bull isn’t bad for you……

195.8 pounds…..I’m not sure the bbq pork sandwiches are working…..

fat bbq

2 pulled pork sandwiches….bahahahaha

While looking for this photo I typed fat bbq into google and clicked images….the second was a photoshoped photo of me….damn it…..

oh shit….I just google Sean Russett….just to see how terrible the photos of him are….his own place of employ served up this beauty

sean russett

Geezus….I’m so glad I was able to capture this before they got wise and removed it……lol

Love you buddy!

The Quote of The Day

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
Doug Larson

I’ve said it 1000 times…I hang out with a group of maybe 20 guys…none of these guys is the normal dude.  They are love life and live it to the fullest.  When we meet me hug….at the pub there may be songs…on vacation we are a scene….

I’m thankful for these friends and 100 more I don’t see twice a week.

Babe….I love you….regardless of anything….I will always love you….

I’ve just driven Syd To her first exam ever and was heading to park across the street to wait for her….a truck pulls in exactly like our last one….a blonde woman inside…..I hoped it was you….I thought of following to see you again….

I didn’t……

I’m broken….I’ll get better

 

Wracking………..

 

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Life…Death…and a few things in between….

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I’ve been doing this man blog thing for a long time….years…how many years, 5 years….maybe longer…

It used to be a celebration of love and life, friendships….a joke about playing poker and eating too much, diets, so many diets….

A ritual…a lot of days written in the early morning while Ev was at boot camp…and when she came home she would sit in the same spot every day and read it….

I wrote it most days….right up until we found out Ev had cancer….it slowed after that….

Once she died….I used it to try to understand how I was feeling……I could take the time to let my emotions simply flow out of me.  It was great….I needed to do it.  After a few weeks I would have given it up…but a lot of people were messaging me…and a lot of those were thanking me for sharing.  Some were thankful to hear about a great love….and some were thankful for hearing about the expression of grief.  Hopefully my pain has helped others with their journey.

Not much of it was for anyone but myself though, it did offer some insight to how I was doing to my friends…I have a wonderfully loving and supportive group of friends.

The man blog has also ruffled a few feathers.  I remember last February and March when I discussed dating….how I thought I was ready to give it a go…yep…I did receive a few warnings.

Guess what….they were founded.  I wasn’t ready….

It’s been 13 months now since Ev left….I miss her terribly every day.  You see, I still love her….big time.

So….the man blog allows me to share that, for better or worse…and yesterday it allowed me to share that with people all over the world….50 plus countries….I’ve seen it as high as 80 and who knows, I’m sure it’s been more but I simply didn’t bother to look.

Today like every other day I get to sit here and say whatever I want to whoever reads this man blog…and I might ruffle some feather again….like yesterday….when I was told I was a piece of shit….

Let’s take a moment to sit here and think about something….

If there is a heaven….if there is a soul that lives on and looks over us….A Father’s, Mother’s, Sister’s, Brother’s, Husband’s or Wife’s….whatever….if you believe that…..

Are you doing the best you can for those people…..can you face them and know that they approve of what you’re doing….in your life……

I don’t need to judge you see….if you believe….then judgement has already passed….

Hey….I do what I can, I have some regrets…..but I live my life as if Ev was right here beside me….I love that woman still as if she is sitting right outside this office…..on the sofa…..waiting for me to say it’s done so she can read the man blog.

 

The Weigh In

I’m down a couple of pounds, nothing worth yelling off the rooftops as I’m still over 240 at 242.2 pounds.  Yesterday for breakfast I had 8 egg whites and one full egg with half a piece of protein pita….too much….so stuffed I could puke!  Just a protein shake at lunch….and a chicken breast with broccoli for dinner…after a trip to the gym.

My shoulder is killing me….I may have to focus on cardio for a bit to let it heal.

the boys

That’s a nice one isn’t.  Only had 6 bodies guys, sorry…took the first 6 heads I had available…

Quick again….no big losers, Athur 192.8….at gym every day, Vinnie 178….pasta every day, Andy 180…back from yurting and back to the shakes, Pirouz 157…shakes…says he only wants to get to 155, Beagle 196.7….elliptical…starvation…4 weeks until the beach for you Beagle….lots of time, Ayhan 188.6…2 Turkish dinners he tells me.

The Quote of The Day

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
Will Smith

As I told my critic yesterday, I don’t want to fight….I want what’s best for my family.  I forgive you, and I’m sorry.

XO

Have I cried today, yes…yesterday, yep…I love and miss my wife….does that suck…you bet.  Does it hurt me to share these things here…to have you all know how much pain I feel….yes.

I’m a man’s man.  I stand tall among my friends….they know they can count on me…no matter what.  I am proud, I’m proud to be man enough to be able to share these things…..

I know what love is…..I love large….eternally….my wife…my babies…my friends and family…..my life.

I know what pain is….I suffer…constantly….you think you can make it worse….come…..bring everything you have………I’ve already been destroyed……come with every thing……………..

Babe…..thanks for giving me your love….and strength…..I love you….

 

 

 

 

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Family….

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What did we do this weekend….There is a lot of dance on weekends, Ave has about 4 hours of it herself split up over the Friday to Sunday spread….Charlotte has skating Saturday mornings, this week Syd decided to come along and watch…it was good fun, and donuts afterward….I may have eaten 4….

The rink is nice….I always feel close to Ev there for whatever reason….she really wanted Charlotte to skate and play hockey….and I think Charlotte relates those trips to the rink with Ev also….she always brings her up during the drive…..

It normally has me fighting tears….missing Ev….being proud of Charlotte…..

Ave spends most of her weekends checking in from play dates at friends houses, trips to the outdoor rink…and sporting events.  That little girl is always on the go…..

It was a busy weekend…..on top of the carousel of taxiing kids, there is also lots of laundry and groceries to manage….the gym…and of course a pint or 2 with the boys.

Sunday night while Syd and I sat around listening to music she had the misfortune of seeing what her extended family was up to this weekend…her aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces….well….she might be in touch…..and you know what….she just might not.

No worries though….you leave it to me…..I’ll fix it….I’ll carry it…just let us know when it’s convenient to stop by…..

Ya….Ev used to tell me her thoughts on this subject….

Anyway, my day isn’t about yesterday’s….I live for nows and tomorrows…so movin on.

An easy week around here, exams for the big girls, that’s 2 less lunches and an hour plus less driving a few days this week….

Deep breaths…..oh shit….folks….please don’t honk your horn at strange pickups this week….I’m not in the mood….

The Weigh In

What was I today….245?  244?  I don’t remember, I weighed myself 4 hours ago….no gym yesterday, might just do cardio today, I need to rest to grow….and I really pushed hard on Friday and Saturday while the boys were Yurting….I’m sore still….

UP

let’s make this quick….everyone is up…Beagle 197.2, Andy 180, Vinnie 179, Arthur 193, Ayhan 186.6…..

The only loser of the bunch is Pirouz, he is on the shakes….also known as…hey, let’s starve….  Pirouz weighed in at 156.

Andy trafford, Victor Wheeler, Kevin Parker, Sean Russett

The Quote of The Day

Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow.
A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

The days after Ev left….really hard…for all of us….we were stuck in a tornado….our world spun around out of control…..

One day, a week in, I got everyone together and I said….let’s do team love….that’s the only way this is going to work…the 5 of us agreed….and we’ve been doing it for 13 months now.

Not every day is easy, some days there are battles…..but team love will always get us through…..

My sacrifice was easy to make, it was a decision I made based on love.  The love I have for my babies….and the love I have for Evelyn.

Anyway….

Babe….I’m doing it….I love you……

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Yep…another week…done….

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Am I counting down time here?  Sometimes I think I am….

Not my best week….but then again this isn’t the easiest gig I’ve ever had….

Missed Ev quite a bit this week, thinking about her a lot….

How in hell I’m going to get through 20 years seems impossible right now…holy smokies….

The good thing is I only consider suicide or murder suicide daily between 7 and 8:30 during the pre school struggle and then half the days between like…5 and 9….

lol

So pretty good….

I mean come on…4 daughters….are you kidding me?????

Anyway…just so we are clear….I don’t consider murder/suicide any more than any other parent I know…it’s just one of the options….

I would also be willing to accept a nice foster home….that’s right, I’m up for adoption…If my foster family could have a well equipped 3 car garage, preferably heated….they won’t even know I live there other than a pile of laundry once a week or so…and I don’t even wear underwear so…one less thing to worry about…

Last night we went with the shwarma platter so no need to weigh in….for any of us….and Ave had tumbling in Kanata so it was a late night, luckily a PD day for the littlest 2 today…that cuts my afternoon drive down from 2 hours to just 1.

I crawled out of bed at 5:30 this morning….not enough sleep…but when I closed my eyes I was haunted by views of the laundry room….4 loads already today and a recent journey into Syd’s room unveiled what seems to be 2 loads awaiting my attention…

I’m so excited!!!!!

Well that’s it for today…….

To be honest….I’m lost….I’m trying to keep my shit together, hiding how much I miss Ev….it’s not easy….it’s total bullshit that she can’t just walk in the front door….

Because after 13 months….I still wait for that…… every…. single…. day……….

Am I living here……pretending to be someone……

I’ve been seriously considering some grief counselling recently…..I’m not sure if it will help………….but it might be someplace I can truly be myself………….

Even here…..I hide……..

Babe…….fuck………I miss you………..

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The Past….

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A strange day yesterday….old friends and old worries forgotten….

As I stand in the school yard waiting for Charlotte and Ave yesterday a passerby says my name, an old friend and roommate from days long long gone when I lived down in the market….fun times, the joy we used to have with 4 and sometimes 5 of us sharing a 3 bedroom….often to wake up with bodies covering every inch of carpet in every room….the mad sleepovers….

Fabulous memories………

Not all of my past has left me with those same feelings, some I’ve carried like luggage all this time.  Wrongs I had always hoped to be forgiven for….or simply relieved of….that too happened yesterday….I travel a bit lighter now.  I had to share a bit more than I usually do to get it….but these days I’ve laid my demons on the table more than I ever have….my secrets swirl around free…..and so do I.

Getting the ladies out the door this morning seemed like a breeze, although I do feel like I might be better with an extra hour of sleep, deciding to get into the hot tub late last night to relieve some muscle pain was a good idea….bringing a wee bit of scotch along might not have been….

Charlotte slept in her own bed again last night, likely 10 of the past 12 days….and now I dream again…obviously I’m getting a bit more sleep without her hogging.

The Weigh In

I hit the scale at 241.6 pounds this morning…reasonable enough.  Gym yesterday, tried to push but a back issue made it impossible…when the back hurts….I decided to work the back instead, easier to pull I suppose.  What did we manage to eat yesterday….I think I managed about 200 grams of protein yesterday, short of my goal….Roast beef and mashed potatoes for dinner and a salad at 11 pm just before bed….I couldn’t go to sleep hungry.

Today….the gym……..

Groundhog days

Groundhog days for Beagle at 196.2, Arthur at 192, Vinnie at 178, nothing from Parker….I’m betting 252….

Parker skipped the gym yesterday, today we do arms….I think he is over the worst of it so he might be brushing his own teeth again by Friday…Arthur…we shall see.

It just stuck me that Arthur weighs less than Beagle…..bahahahaha….shit

Kevin Parker belly flops for the man blog

Parker does like to hit the pool after a bit of the old lift.

Old Trafford

The starvation diet….old Trafford is down to 177.6 pounds.  If you are willing to substitute lean shakes for 2 meals a day while having a very sensible dinner….you will lose weight.

You can’t cheat this diet, your metabolism slows to a crawl so any misstep will be stored as fat as your body attempts to persevere for one more day.  Luckily Andy’s intake of beer seems to also have slowed to a crawl….as best as I can tell anyway….

A lot of seniors do come to the decision to give up the glug….Andy’s days of being a pirate are almost over.

Andy Trafford

Pirouz and Ayhan

Priouz is back down to 158 pounds….he loves that gym….Ayhan isn’t doing as well….he is obviously off the nuts.  Ayhan weighed in this morning at 188.2 pounds.  I think he is right back to where he started….

Let’s try to consider….Ayhan has been dieting, his body has had to consume a bit of the old muscle along the way….Trafford….hint hint….during this time I’ve been destroying the fridge….taking creatine….and pushing hard weight.  My weight at 241 includes a few pounds of new muscle and 5 pounds of water weight from the creatine.  I give that up and I’m 235 in 2 days…..

Lift…

The Quote of The Day

It’s toughest to forgive ourselves. So it’s probably best to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.
Patty Duke

You know, for all my mistakes I’ve really turned into a pretty good person….this life has taught me so many things, the really important stuff….

Care for the people around you and they will care for you.

I’m a lucky man…..I’m surrounded by lucky people.

Babe….I love your face.

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The Ladies….

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My 4 babies…what a pack of beauties.  I do have my hands full but it certainly could be much worse…these are good kids.

It isn’t easy, there are days when I know they are the reason I spend time looking over the touch of grey products and wondering when they are going to come up with a pill that cures grey hair….at least I have lots of it I suppose….I haven’t torn it out just yet.

I had an early night yesterday, in bed at 8 pm…soothing a crying 5 year old…missing mommy.  It’s extremely painful for me to do as I’m pretty sure I miss mommy more…even right this moment to type that…to think about it…it’s a fight….

I do fight a bit harder these days….I fight to contain my tears that I allowed myself to give up months past.  It’s not healthy for me, I know I’m better to let these things flow that attempt to contain them….once full…well, we will see.

The Weigh In

Let’s start with me today, 244.8 pounds…it wasn’t a pretty weekend.  I think we will call today the beginning of the lean…

Okay, both Saturday and Sunday I took the kids out for breakfast, I ate my 2 egg plate and 2 of Charlotte’s pancakes…both days.  Big lunches and steak dinners.  Not all bad though, both Saturday and Sunday I lifted huge at the gym.  I am now stronger than I have ever been.

The gym saves me these days…I’ve wasted a lot of months since last December, a pity I hadn’t taken to the gym sooner, because I do prefer being healthy and clear…and strong….

Starting today I lean….I’m going to attempt 300 kidney destroying grams of protein every day while keeping the carbs down….beer….maybe just a few  🙂

At this point I’d be happy to hit the beach at 230, I’m a big boy…and I hate to fight it too hard…

Arthur and Kevin

Neither of these 2 is losing weight either, both of these guys are pushing weight at the gym 5 days a week….at some point they will lean out, Kevin is sure to drop a few pounds…but right now they are building muscle and holding on to water.

Kevin and Arthur did the evening spin class yesterday while I took the day off completely….

Kevin 252 pounds

Arthur…nothing

Pirouz

Pirouz is also at the gym almost every day, 160 pounds…gaining…I wonder if he weighs in with his phone in his pocket…Pirouz does like to have is phone handy to take photos.

You keep this up Pirouz and you’ll get a fine…sooner or later…..

Pirouz

Andy Trafford

Old Old Old Andy Trafford, down weight again….Andy hit the scale this morning at 178.2

Andy has the benefit of old age, let’s be honest…if you weigh the fossilized remains of….I don’t know…I whooly mammoth…it’s simply lighter than it once was….

Andy might be lighter due to this process….who knows when it begins….Andy Trafford

 

Beagle

Nothing from Beagle today….weekend blues perhaps?  My guess….Beagle is somewhere above 198 pounds….

Am I close?  We will get to the bottom of this tomorrow.

Ayhan

Up….187.4 pounds.

And I quote Ayhan, “Too much eat”

There you go….too much eat, does it every time!

Vinnie

Anyone see a pattern here….Vinnie is up…178 pounds.

Have I seen any of these guys regularly at the pub?  Maybe…..

The Quote of The Day

There’s so much to appreciate about my life every single day, and I make a big point of taking time to smell the roses and noticing how lucky I am. I never want to take that for granted.
Josie Maran

I have always enjoyed enjoying life, and I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by a group of people that know how to rejoice in what life is…I’ve been very lucky.

I do have terribly beautiful moments full of pain, sharing tears with a 5 year old that misses her mother….one that says she can’t dream about mommy as her memory fades until I open up my phone and review some photos with her before bed….painfully beautiful memories to talk about and remember…..

These things build inside of me….I pack them up and release them at the gym……..stronger physically and mentally….I hope.

I also hope you all have a great day….rejoice!

Babe……………………We all really miss you………….

I wrack…………..

 

 

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Another day….another…..day.

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Before I get into the meat and potatoes portion of the man blog, the portion where I entertain myself with photoshoped images of my friends….let’s review…..grief….and life….

I’ve read so many fabulous posts in regards to how other people have dealt with or are dealing with their grief….let it go….like a butterfly in a storm…just keep flapping those wings….glide…..

Guess what…….

And this is going to come as a total shock to some of you………..ready?

Some people DON’T love their spouse…….

I have talked to hundreds of people through this blog, read hundreds of messages, responded to dozens upon dozens….

Some people do not love their spouse……some people don’t love their children…..their pets…..their parents….

Some people do not love …….themselves……

I have personally talked to widows that have told me….no problem….we likely weren’t going to make it anyway…..so, obviously that person is unlikely to experience this journey as I do……

I have personally talked to people that envy me……you get that…..men and women that WISH their spouse would die…..obviously that person is unlikely to experience this journey as I do……

I have personally met men and women that LOVE there lost child, brother, father, sister, mother, aunt, cat and dog….these people have some idea of what the journey is to me…..these people are on a journey of their own…..different….but there is a path like mine.

I am moving forward.  I have moved forward every single day since December 17, 2014.  I will continue to move forward….it will not always be easy, some days I will cry…..I will continue this journey…with love….living to the best of my ability….and I’m telling you right now, my life is pretty big…bigger than most…..I live large, even in agony…………

So…..I suffer….but I live……

The Weigh In

Kevin Parker……..Kevin MF Parker…..

Kevin met me at the gym yesterday unable to straighten his arms….I figured a little light lifting might get him flowing again…well we lifted….and lifted….set after set…again and again…..

Kevin did not whine…..he did not quit…..he was nothing short of an animal….

I am proud of Kevin Parker.  He is sore today, really sore….

watford Kevin Parker

This is what Kevin gets today….Kevin’s weight was unchanged at 252 pounds….but he is on his way.

Beagle

Poker night for Beagle.  He weighed in at 196 pounds this morning, not bad considering.  Beagle says today he plans on sweating….that is going to hurt….

Fat Beagle

Charlie also weighed in this morning at 21 kg, or about 45 pounds….Charlie has enjoyed Wednesday night poker, up 2 pounds since his last visit where the Vet put him on a strict diet…..

Victor…yours truly

Yesterday for breakfast I managed 4 eggs and 6 thin slices of rye, I crushed a few scoops of protein, some creatine, glutamine, and bcaa’s….all of the supplements I am using are from a Canadian company that promises IOC compliance…I’m getting big, I might me stronger today that I was 10 years ago….and I don’t want anyone thinking I’m using anything other than over the counter supplements of the highest standard.

I’m working out hard….really hard….I like to kid around about steroids….but lets be serious, I can hardly stuff myself into an XL shirt as it is……

okay….I then had chicken curry over fries and cheese…chicken curry poutine…at the Heart and Crown, with a beer.  Then poker…2 beers….maybe 4 ounces of scotch….10 meatballs….15 maybe…..2 or 3 chicken thighs….and half bag of doritos…maybe 2/3 of the bag…..

So what is that…..some calories….a few carbs……

I hit the scale this morning at 239.8 pounds….

As long as I’m pushing the weight…..I can eat whatever I’d like.  First week of February we lean out….

Today I break from the gym……or maybe I go in late for a bit of cardio.

Arthur

Arthur is at the gym daily also and has been for about 2 months.  Like me, Arthur is packing on muscle so his weigh in is not as easy as a simple number….

Arthur hit the scale this morning at 193 pounds….Liverpool did manage a tie yesterday which cost Arthur a few pints at the pub….all consumed.

To continue Arthur expose into the Asian culture I offer you this prize.

Andy Zips for free

Andy Zips for free

A little something for everyone in this gift.  Sorry Kev…

Vinnie and Old old Andy Trafford

Vinnie doesn’t really need to lose much weight, but being Italian he does want to look his very best for when we hit the beach in February….I wouldn’t banana hammock myself…but Vinnie….he loves it.

Vinnie weighs in at 177.5, down half a pound….it’s amazing what a good waxing can accomplish.

Old Old Andy Trafford is walking his way into a wafer…Trafford weighed in this morning at 180.5 pounds!

Andy Trafford

I do wonder if blisters are the only thing Andy is getting at Carlingwood……

Pirouz 

Pirouz is at 160 pounds, down a bit but not his low….he wants to lose another 10 pounds…

It won’t be easy….I’ve only seen Pirouz at the gym one time….he is like one of those steroid guys…just walkin around looking big…..or….big???  Wait….no…

Sorry Pirouz….you’ll have to step it up a bit…

pirouz

Ayhan

Ayhan had 2 peanuts yesterday…his weight….183.8 pounds

bf9dc7c107ccceb309b4bb7db9a6046a0b111d4a_full

I can hear Ayhan now. “Man said, nuts, you like?”

bahahahaha…oh shit… terrible….

The Quote of The Day

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge

This is what it is all about…..this is the man blog….

Lot’s of pictures today….one more….

evelyn kindervater-wheeler

If this isn’t how you feel about life……you’re already gone…..

Babe…..I love your face……..

so what if I wrack…..

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Years past…..

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Old Andy Trafford…..old dried up….terribly old….OLD….Andy Trafford…

Andy has offered up his weight……Trafford and I

I knew Andy was secretly dieting away, preparing for our trip to the beach….and I was right!  Yesterday OOOOOLD Trafford offered up his weigh in.

Andy started at 187 a week ago, was at 183 yesterday and this morning sent over 181.2 pounds.  5.8 pounds in a week….shakes baby.

Andy drinks these leans shakes through the day and has a sensible dinner.

Plus…..

He is a walker!!!!!

No senior in this entire city has done more laps at Carlingwood that old Trafford…..He has worn a strip through 2 carpets….they’ve turned to tile in an attempt to get him out of there!!!!!  Andy’s lofty goal….170….

Andy Trafford walks the mall

Next up….Beagle.  Down to 196.4 pounds.  Beagle was on the elliptical twice yesterday, that’s gotta hurt…Once upon a time there was only 10 pounds between Beagle and I…on the low side, this time last year I was hitting the scale under 220….what’s up with that?  Beagle is about to participate in a cleanse….a viscous treat…but first…

Poker night in Canada folks….redbull is on the menu!

treadmill crawlin at the man blog

Ayhan no longer updates me on what he has had to eat….he has taken the fun out of it.

Ayhan weighed in this morning at 185.2, he had 1750 calories yesterday…..What else can I say….you’re guess is as good as mine.

Kevin Parker….nothing from Kevin on the weight front yet this morning….I’m sure it isn’t pretty.  Kevin sent me a late text last night saying he wouldn’t be at the gym today….the inability to straighten your arms thing.

I told the darling Kevin that a little light lifting will get things loosened up….so we shall do a bit of pushing today.  I see good things in Kevin’s future….in about 2 weeks he will be able to shampoo his hair again….

Kevin Parker, man blog

No update from Arthur or Vinnie yet either….too early.

Me?  I hit the scale this morning at 239.6 pounds.  I’ve started the habit of crushing tons of calories before bed…I’ve also been sleeping like crap.  Charlotte has been out of my bed for 2 days, I thought that would help, but no…I’m still up half the night….lots of that due to twitching muscles.

I managed to push a full set of 100 pound dumbbells yesterday, peanuts weight.  I pushed them easier than I every have before.  Ya, 200 pound bench presses don’t seem like much on a straight bar….but you hold 100 pounds in each hand over your face and give 8 good pushes….it’s no straight bar.

That, a pack of squats and Arthur and I went to hit the treadmill.

Soon….very soon….I start to lean out a bit…..

The Quote of The Day

If you really want to do it, you do it. There are no excuses.
Bruce Nauman

I’m lucky that due to my current mental state a little pain in the gym actually feels good….it takes other issues away.  This fact makes it hard for the other guys to keep up….when I’m done…I try to push more.  These days when I give up on weights its because my fingers can no longer handle the lightest of weights….my hands cramp up while I’m getting changed…..

I remember seeing Ev’s hands cramp up like that……thinking of her pushes me farther than I’ve ever gone…and I’ll be stronger at 44 than I have ever been……

Shit….Ayhan just sent me what he ate yesterday….at 6:45 he had oatmeal, steel cut, the oatmeal seemed a bit darker than he likes…he added 5 drops of milk, skim, the container has a small dent….factory issues possibly….sandwich…thai chicken…a bit of crust was rough…not quite burnt…….

You get the idea…..

This is the Man Blog Ev loved to read every morning…..she waited on the sofa for me to come out of my office so that she might enjoy a good laugh…..

This is what I want the Man Blog to be.

Babe….I love your face.

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The Big Questions….

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Today….I think I figured it out….just this morning….

There is a God…..

It’s 8:15, time to load up the littlest 2 for a drive to school, orders have been laid out….put on your snow pants….let’s roll…

And it clicks….wtf….I haven’t made lunches!!!!!

I open the fridge door…and there it is…somewhere inside by stainless side by side, freezer bottom refrigerator……God….

I’m not sure if it’s mixed field greens, it could be tonight’s hamburger meat, apples….hell….it could be mustard….to be fair, it might be the fridge itself….

But as I stood there staring into the well lit cavern which contains piles of chilly foodstuffs I realized that there is a God…

There must be…because a few of the questions I asked the fridge this morning….the big questions….can only be answered by a higher power…..

And as usual…..

No answers……not even a peep……

Moments later as I’m at the counter crafting delicious sandwiches….the fridge starts beeping…….

I’ve left the door open too long……

Today I’ll be at home depot handling ropes…..checking for weight and elasticity……..

The Weigh In

I start this morning with great praise for Kevin Parker.  Kevin managed a trip to the gym with Arthur and I last night, and he worked hard!  Today and tomorrow will not be easy days for Kevin Parker, for the next 2 weeks as he and I go over a few of the big muscle groups he will wish to lay in bed.

Last night he pushed big weight….really big.  He pushed it to failure….If he can stick with it for 6 months he will be a new man…..

A before photo….a bit of a pose, a good one.

Kevin Parker

Kevin weighed in this morning with 180 pounds, down 70 pounds which he concludes is due to the loss of both arms….he said they simply fell off….

Yours Truly

This morning I hit the scale at 240.6 pounds….up a little.  I followed our late evening workout with a scotch at the pub….oh…a protein shake first….yep a protein shake followed up by scotch….

I then came home and managed 8 slices of toast with various toppings….all low sugar at least….

So ya, I gained a little bit on the scale this morning….that said….I’m not carrying my 240 pounds too badly….220 will be better….but I’m pulling off 240 right now….

Victor January 2015

I’m getting big….bigger anyway.

When I go to the gym these days I work….I really work….

Who is up next…..Ayhan…..

ayhan2

Ayhan did not lose weight yesterday, offering up 186.4 pounds one more time.

At 7:15 yesterday morning Ayhan had a berry….red…called here in this country a raspberry.  At 7:18 Ayhan pulled a small seed, possibly from raspberry from his teeth….at 7:20 Ayhan had an egg, white part separated from yolk, individually scrambled then mixed together….this was not eaten BUT at 7:22 Ayhan ate 3 nuts of varying type and size….delicious….

You get the idea ya?

At 9 pm Ayhan text the group to say he had a 600 calorie shortfall for the day…..those raspberry seeds will get you every time!

Old Trafford

Old Andy Trafford is not taking part in this round of man blog….a surprise attack possibly….I’m not letting him off the hook…an oldie but I can’t help sharing….I’m such a giver!

Andy Trafford Body builder

Andy Trafford Body builder

Vinnie

UP!!!!!  178.  Vinnie and I can’t lose any weight, me from lifting it and him from eating…..

Vincenzo does not bother with the gym….screw it.

Vinnie Creaco

Arthur

The Scot is calling it even at 193 pounds….Arthur is hard at work under weight pretty much daily…he too is building a bit of muscle, transforming his weight rather than losing it….Shall we pick on Arthur this morning….we shall.

As I went through old photos I had a few good chuckles….and the best of them are due to a time in Arthur’s life where he was going through a cultural transformation rather than a physical one.

egg roll strike out. the man blog

egg roll strike out

Beagle

Last for today….but not least….

I didn’t even get a weight from Beagle this morning….too busy…or maybe I missed it while I was talking to the fridge….

One of these days I will get Beagle to workout…at one point we were lifting in his basement and the wee lad was getting strong…but he decided against that….a run maybe?

Sean Russett

The Quote of The Day

People see God every day, they just don’t recognize him.
Pearl Bailey

I hope it’s not the sausage….I plan on throwing those out today…..

My life can be tough, I’m lucky to have great friends a wonderful family and most importantly….I’m lucky I’m wise enough to make the most of it….

The trick is….be happy…it’s a simple choice…..

okay….I’m off to look at rope.  XO  🙂

Babe….I miss your face…I’d give it all up for one more kiss……….it would last forever………………………

Ah why not….let’s wrack a bit…..

I hope you all have a great day!

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Just because?

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You would figure I’d have this sorted out by now….but I don’t.  I still grieve….impossibly I still find myself at this.  It’s like I’m stuck doing something I love that is terrible for me…..an addict…..in love with something that might harm me…..

I don’t want to find myself in my truck driving home from the gym….or the pub…..in tears….

I don’t want to do that anymore…..

How do you stop that?

How does that come to an end?

I certainly do not know….nothing I have tried to this point has worked….helped….sure, the worst of it…..

Now, I try the gym…..every day….to what end I’m not sure, it certainly has kept me out of the pub….

Anyway….I’m not asking for much…..I just don’t want to feel pain anymore……

The Weigh In

Kevin Parker has joined the gym.  I will do my best to work out with him until he gets it….my lord he is going to hurt on Wednesday this week…..lol  Parker weighs in at 252 pounds.  Slim……ish

Keivn Parker gym

Who should we start with…the losers or the gainers?

I suppose the losers….just 2 folks, Ayhan and Arthur.

Scottish_tourist_Ataturk_tattoo

Until this moment I didn’t even realize the Scottish Turkish thing was a thing….geezus…

Arthur is down to a svelte 193 pounds, his goal is 185 pounds, not too lofty….Ayhan is at 186.4, he offered up everything he ate this weekend…I mean, he might be on to something….he is losing more than anyone at this point.  I won’t give you the expose on just how many berries Ayhan demolished between 5:30 and 5:32 on Saturday….Just know….I know……..

Okay….the gainers….

Priouz hits the scale at 159.5, there is a chance that he is wearing one of his fancy airport belts…….I hope not…..How many pounds of Iranian gold is that Pirouz?

Vinnie….Vinnie….Vinnie….You can’t eat at Mother’s all weekend long and expect to lose buddy….that pasta is only worth while if you’re carb loading for a marathon….and let’s be serious…..

3.italian-21

That isn’t happening….Vinnie managed 177 pounds this morning.  His goal is just 170…no problem!

Poor Old Beagle……198.1 pounds…..

sean-pizza

What do you say in a situation like this….I mean…..

Beagle’s goal…amputation of a limb I suppose….because that’s the only way he is ever going to see 185 pounds….

Me?  Well I was even this morning, 239 pounds.  I have been putting in the work, I know that at least some of the weight that is on me today is muscle that was fat a couple of months ago…..to be fair….I am getting big….and I intend to get bigger.  I’m going to continue working out like mad, attempting to hit the protein requirements to build muscle….and about Febuary 1st….2 weeks before we fly…..I’m going to crush myself….zero carbs….

I’ll drop 10 pounds easy.  It won’t get me under 220….but so what

The Quote of The Day

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
Bob Marley

Well folks….that’s it for another day….

Today will be fabulous….I will smile…

To be fair….if you’re at Movati at 8 pm tonight to see Kevin Parker’s first attempt at lifting weights in his life….

There will be a few laughs….and I think a pint at the pub afterwards.

Love you all….even the asses…..

Babe…..my god…..I miss you……..

 

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The deconstruction of Victor….

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Yesterday was my worst day in quite some time….

An innocuous comment….why not….

It’s been a tough week…2 young ladies PMSing….

An Ogre on a tight rope….that’s what it’s like….but there is no rope….I left it at Home Depot……

I deal with the morning disaster…contact lenses….clothes…lunches…brushes….tampons…..it’s a circus……

I’m the lion…..one of them has a chair….the other a whip…………….

I get them out the door, time to breathe….finish a newsletter for the shop, send it out, get my gym clothes and head off for what I hope will be a great session ripping myself a part……

I park…..before I get out of the truck I have a look at my phone……a few emails….

An old client of ours has read the newsletter, she has clicked through to the website….seen a photo of Ev…and offered me her opinion…..

“It’s in bad taste to have a photo of Ev on the website.”

as I type it I’m destroyed…..I will wrack………

My response……Sorry, I haven’t had the heart to do anything with it………

I went into the gym….ran rather than lifted………and went home to take her photo down……for now…………………

I’ve had a tough week, and that pretty much finished me off…….destroyed me…….

No, you can’t tell….to everyone that sees me on my feet I appear to be the same big strong guy I have been hiding inside all my life………………….

The Weigh In…….

I pulled off 237.6 this morning.  5k at the gym, lots of protein, a huge steak, salad….a few runs at Fortune…..the peace of the snow………2 beers after….pita bread and almond butter to get my hunger under control at bed…….

I finish this man blog and go back to the gym…….or maybe I’ll escape to the snow………

Ok…….let’s have some fun……

Kevin Parker is unchanged at 252 pounds….he swears by fish tacos….the diet craze of Almonte…..

kevin parker

Kevin….chew your food…..252 pounds…..Kevin and I no longer weigh the same….Fish tacos…..bahahahahahahaa

Let’s focus a bit on those that are actually dieting…..

Beagle…down to 196.6 pounds.  Seems reasonable enough….consider he is the same height as Pirouz….who gained weight and today offered 159 pounds…..

I wonder when Beagle last weighed 159 pounds?   Like….in his mother’s womb perhaps?????  An oldie but a goodie…

new3

Vinnie is unchanged at 174 pounds….chicken and rice, cuban style….2 ways…..you can have the chicken over the rice….OR!  You can have the rice over the chicken!

Vinnie

Ayhan sent his weight and a diary of everything he ate…I can’t write it all down here….kindly imagine this in a very heavy turkish accent….Yesterday I ate 2 radishes….cut quarterly….nibbled throughout the day….I had a nut…..it was salty…pew pew….I spat it out…..I had a cucumber….wet…and apple…sour….Turkish kofte….3 pieces….40 sunflower seeds…..no wait what is this…..I have just found a sunflower seed in my collar….I have had 39 sunflower seeds…..

You get the idea……geez……

No weight on the spy…and old trafford….he is back at Carlingwood I think…..fighting old age in a brand new set of Nike with snow spikes…..they think they can replace the carpet with tile in there and keep him and his posse away……good luck!

worn out shoes, the man blog

Andy….we love you buddy….keep putting in those K’s…..

The Quote of The Day

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.
Napoleon Hill

Hey guess what…..I’m a disaster….I’m trying very hard to reconstruct myself….some days I fail, I make the wrong choice, I am crushed…..

But I never open my eyes the next day in Quicksand…..I always open my eyes to the possibilities of today….

Deconstruct me on the wrong day……….and we are going to be in big trouble…………

Babe……….I’m madly in love with you…….it’s a terrible thing………..I miss you every day…..

XO

I hate the man blog…………………

 

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