Where do I begin….the end…..

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Where do I begin….the end…..

Where are we now…11 days away from 7 months….

11 days away from 7 months………

12 days away from 7 months since I last heard her voice….I’m not going anywhere….that’s what she told me……

I told her I loved her and I’d take care of our babies………..

13 days away from 7 months ago I last woke up beside my wife….that last day she slept alone as Charlotte had a cold we didn’t want Ev to catch……

To count down the days to our first kiss……….the first time I set my eyes on Ev…………………

wracking………

I took Charlotte to see Ev yesterday, even without a headstone….she was fine….the kids are doing much better than I am….

Of course they are….they have me loving them……….I take very good care to make sure they know they are safe….

……..I wonder….how safe I am some times……as I sip late with a few of the neighbors…..and the loss of my wife will pass over me…..making me fight my tears in front of the guys……………hiding the mess I am…………

There will be less breaks for Vic this summer it seems…the ladies won’t be going on a week long trip away….really…the last thing I need right now is a week of irresponsibility to see just what happens when you explore the depths of quicksand….

…..glitter in the dark….tears in the rain………..

Oh my lord….yep…..well….some things only the very closest to me will understand….assume nothing……

So….it looks like we will do La Ronde this week…fun for all…a yearly adventure and an early family type date for Ev and I years ago…..We did it every year, 2 were just me and the bigger ladies as Ev stayed home with baby Charlotte….

While the kids swirl and twirl….while I ride the carousel with Charlotte…..my eye will catch the places we touched……the spots we kissed……..and I will fight my tears or pour in front of strangers I’ll never see again…………

…….someday these things won’t be new….it will be easier……

The Weigh In

Fat fat FAT fat Fat Fat FAt FAT fat

and now…the weather……

The Quote Of The Day

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.
Henry David Thoreau

Life is not bad….I enjoy it as much or more than plenty of folks…..

To the fullest!

I am not here to wallow in my grief….I am here to explore it….and the joy of what comes after….

A beautiful day….live it.

To all my friends….I love you….thanks for everything.

Paul Robson….for your protection I have left a pair of safety glasses and a face shield hanging off the front door handle…..some would say this sort of protection is over cautious….but I’ve seen the documentaries….cobra’s do spit….

Some of us are willing to get bit more than once…..

Babe….I love your face…..

XO