Meeehhhhhssssy

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Meeehhhhhssssy

How is Vic doing…Well…I’m messy…I’m pretty sure it’s normal…lol

Oh shit….Last week was a shit show for me…emotionally up and down all week, I can tell you this…my highs are higher, when I’m feeling better I really am feeling better…this makes the lows seem so much lower.

There was a time when all I thought about was Ev…every single second…days when I didn’t eat or sleep…

Now there are times when I….well I think of other things…new moments…new memories……..

You know there is guilt in living……….wracking guilt…..

It would be…….ah….whatever it would be….doesn’t matter…it would be isn’t an option…..

Yesterday I went to visit Ev’s grave…I made the decision on my way to Brockville…my first of many visits to come in my life….something I didn’t want to do until the marker was up…

I made the decision on the 416…put on my sunglasses to hide my tears…and away I went.

I dropped off a few of the recent crafts Charlotte has done….and poured more tears…

I pour tears now……….

Ya….I’m getting better….but I still only want to have her back….and that terrible thought will make you rot………….and rot I will…..

Evelyn Wheeler Charlotte Wheeler and Avery Skinner

Cleansing…not quite…

The Isagenix 9 day deep cleanse and fat burning….punishment

Let’s see…when did I start that…right Thursday…

So…I had no solid food for most of Thursday…as per the directions…drink this cleanse juice….have fun….

Well, I managed Hot Yoga on Thursday evening, followed by a quick after Yoga scotch at the H&C…or 6….I then came home and cleansed a sandwich…

On Friday I cleansed for half the day on Isagenix….I then cleansed 3 beers a mojito….ah…..a sandwich and a chocolate bar.

Worked with my brother in-law all weekend during which time I cleansed both A&W and McDonalds….

So…not much of a scientific experiment….the 9 day deep cleanse….no….

I did manage to weigh in at 223.5 after boot camp this morning….

The bad news….Andy and Kevin were late this morning with their weigh in….I can’t say I’m sad about that…one second please…..

Here we go…..

Kevin Parker, Andy Trafford, Paul Robson

Well…Paul Robson had to take one for the team there….Hopefully it isn’t too painful…

It wouldn’t have been fair to use one of the guys that actually did weigh in on time….

Let’s get right to it….

Vic  223.5  -5.5

Trafford   175.6   +4.8   lol

Beagle   200.5   -4.5   And back over 200 pounds

Boyling  193   -10.5   the milk diet

Parker   who knows….

 

Boyling is onto something…..I wonder….

The Quote of The Day

I suppose I’ve always done my share of crying, especially when there’s no other way to contain my feelings. I know that men ain’t supposed to cry, but I think that’s wrong. Crying’s always been a way for me to get things out which are buried deep, deep down. When I sing, I often cry. Crying is feeling, and feeling is being human. Oh yes, I cry.
Ray Charles

Well…there is that…I suppose that makes me more human than I feel…when I’m out in public I can’t help feeling that I’m not human at times….hiding my humanity…

But no one wants to drink a beer at the H&C with the guy screaming, moaning, crying and smashing things…that would not be pretty….hopefully Frank is on duty to gently put me in the back seat….

Anyway…today is…cold…gloomy…and it looks all around…unpleasant.

Make your own sunshine folks!  Get that stranger to smile…it’s easy….say Hi!  Offer them a great day!!!!!

Babe…you’re a beauty…I miss your face!!!!!

XO