Stability…

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Stability…

Where will we begin today….

Where oh where….

I’m so tired of this…tired of feeling bad…tired of anguish….tired….

Up again at 4 am…not bad…and I think I only checked the time once during the night…maybe 2 am.  so 5 and a half hours of sleep….

I do remember at one point waking myself up grinding my teeth…I’ve almost got them ground down to nothing………caps it is!

So…we start…yesterday Syd got accepted to Canterbury…I robbed myself of tears of joy…can’t be wasting good tears on that!  I certainly am proud of my girls, and Syd will give you good reason to be proud…

I suppose talking to her piano teacher after her 3rd lesson could do it….he uses words like genius, gifted, smart, talented…he says he’ll need to practice to keep up to her….she is 13….

Ya…it makes me proud.  So we decided to go out for dinner with the Parker’s yesterday…Syd could show off her pink hair.

On the way home, Charlotte sitting between Syd and I in the front of the pickup, Charlotte decides to talk about the beach a bit…we talk about our next vacation….and Charlotte asks if Mommy was with us at the beach….I say not last time but Mommy was with us at the beach when we went to disney….Oh ya she says….

And Syd loses it….she wracks………….

I’ll wrack a moment now…….

Don’t worry….not the first tear I’ve shed this morning…..

Tired….

This life isn’t easy….it’s even harder than it might seem…..driving around in a truck full of young ladies either wracking or trying to console one another…..tiny Charlotte petting backs, trying to make bigger sisters feel better…..

You think that hurts….as a loving parent…..you think that might be painful………..

Ya….I have some pain……I’ve lived through some pain in my life….this….we shall see….

Anyway….I’m tired of it…

Babe…..I miss you so much…..

ev beach with charlotte

There we go…a day at the beach for Charlotte and Evelyn…

The Man Blog Weigh In

Let’s see what we have here, a distraction…

I’m at 227 pounds, a miracle after dinner at the ashton pub last night…it might have helped that I drank Ginger ale rather than beer.  A massive plate of chicken curry, some onion rings and perhaps a bite or 2 of Charlotte’s fish.

And here comes the weekend…

Now I have heard that there is some concern in regards to how I spend some of my moments…under liquids…and sure I make the occasional decision to drown my sorrows…but I pick my moments….

You know what…my demons are here for all to see….where are yours?

We will see if my demons drown this weekend or not…the diet may save them yet!

Better start with those that have missed today’s weigh in, we have Boyling and Trafford….Sorry guys….

Andy Trafford and Richard Boyling
I’m almost sorry about this one….I mean…It almost offends me…so I’m sure it might ruffle some feathers.

But this is obviously the sort of thing that is keeping these 2 up at night so late they can’t make an early morning weigh in.

Beagle is down at an even 203 pounds after a sauna, the elliptical and a swim

Parker…up from dinner at the Ashton, but he did have beer!  A whopping 250 pounds….and a road trip this weekend, bound to go badly.

So the run down:

Vic 227  -2

Beagle 203  -2.6

Parker 250  +1

Trafford  and Boyling….are getting straight….I don’t know exactly what that means…but I hope it’s nothing bad.

The Quote of The Day

Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. He said, “Hey… life is pretty stupid; with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much.” Of course I’m paraphrasing: “Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
~from LA Story

Yep…back to my old favorites….

If you take this life too seriously…congrats…you’ve wasted it.

I have lived so many wonderful days….so many perfect moments….and I can’t remember a single one that didn’t involve love or laughter……..

No weekend man blog I don’t think….I’m getting in deeper….it’s going to be tough to keep out of the quicksand this weekend….I feel the warmth of it….

As I stare at the screen right now….I realize that feeling depression for the first time in your life at my age…with the wisdom to take the feelings apart and have a really good look at it….you understand how someone could just sit in it…just give up and let it take them….

I’ll go kicking and screaming myself….I’m too busy to wallow sadly.

Thanks today…Mandy, Sarah, Kevin, Mary, Yvette, Jen, geez…there are too many names….too much support…thanks to all of you.

I’d like to thank Andy and Boyling too…for their late weigh ins…perfect

Babe…I miss you…I’m trying my best to hold myself together….and of course….I wish you were here beside me.

I’m lost a bit right now…and I’m going to change it up…sorry…..I have to take care of myself better than this…time to hit the pavement, maybe punish myself with another of Karen’s hateful core classes….and do some lifting…

Beauty weekend…get out there and live!

  1. Anonymous
    May 09, 2015
    You are the most awesome guy that i have never met! Stay strong, continue to be proud of those girls and life is eventually going to be less sad... Only time will help. No person should ever judge another and i personally love the comment... About the demons! Hopefully you will enjoy the weekend! ❤️
    Reply