Quicksand anyone?

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Quicksand Anyone?

How does healing from grief work…I have no idea…but let us review the process….

Day 1 – 5   Seriously consider suicide…figure out that’s no good….cry…a lot….

Day 6 – 45   Seriously consider suicide…write the man blog….cry…a lot

Day 46 – 90  Only consider suicide when sober….write the man blog…cry…a lot

Day 91 – 120  Only consider suicide when sober on weekends….write the man blog…cry…but take 3 days off a week….

Days 121 – Present  Things seem better, only consider suicide once in a while…write the man blog sometimes unless it’s about fat guys…cry….but take 3 days off a week…

Wonderful

Let’s get this straight right now…I will not harm myself in any way…and I hardly drink enough to start an intervention just yet, we are trying to keep the man blog a bit lighter these days….

AKA…I’m kidding….sometimes.

Yesterday we had the muffin breakfast at St. Jerome…and off Ave, Charlotte and I went to enjoy a muffin, check out school work and watch Ave do some dancing…

Didn’t quite work out…

Now…we know from reading the man blog that I’m obviously not entirely emotionally stable…I mean…who would be…

But…I did think I was over the hump…I hadn’t had a real bad quicksand day in a while…

The muffin breakfast is the perfect storm, you’re there with your kids, loving and proud, looking at drawings of this and that…of course Charlotte hasn’t got a full repertoire of pictures and projects on the wall…she has missed some days….and that hits you, the time the kids have been home….grieving…or taking care of…ourselves…..

No big deal…you know…I feel it….the pain…but it hasn’t buried me yet, I’ve learned to….fake it better than that!  I can get through this no problem…my smiling face…..

And then you get around the corner…we learn about how a faith and family make us stronger…and all those happy family photos up there on the wall…..and ours…..

Victor Wheeler

There we go….

Now please tell me what I have done to deserve this….please……

You need help….I help….flat tire…I stop….see an old lady shovelling her driveway….I pull over….

What….ya, I’ve been an asshole, sure…but this….

And let’s get one thing perfectly clear for a few of the real assholes in my life….go fuck yourself…

There we go….come on over and try on what I’m doing….come on by….

Anyway…I deserve better than I’m giving myself these days.  I’ve got a full plate and I’m taking good care to ensure that everything on it is taken care of.

okay…okay….let’s just chill this down a bit….no need to get worked up on the man blog….

So…I see the photo….it kills me….I give out my goodbye kisses and vacate the school….tears through the yard as I get to my truck and the day pretty much goes sideways from there.

You see….you fake it too long and the quicksand will get you…..I figured this out months ago…you just figure at some point you have it beat.

Not yet…..

So….another day…done….

The Man Blog Weigh In

We did get all the weigh in’s this morning…does that mean no cover?

not a chance!!!!!

Well to be honest, I’m going to revisit one of my old favorites…

Kevin Parker belly flops for the man blog

 

There we go!

I didn’t eat anything yesterday until 8 pm.  I then ate 2 slices of pizza, some cheesies, a handful of jelly beans, toast, soup and crackers…..is that it?  Ya…I had 10000 calories of beer and the above…perfect.

This morning  227.4  nice!!!!

The only one down is Boyling…who claims to be at 200.2…now he also claims to be 5’11…so…we will take his weigh in for what its worth!

Trafford is up to 173, his new goal is 180….it seems that he hasn’t been taking viagra after all…he has been taking dbol by mistake….

Andy Trafford dbol

Andy Trafford dbol

Beagle…UP…at 204.8…poker Wednesday will get you every time..

And the Watford Wanker claims to be at 247 pounds, sent in at 11 pm to avoid a gay vhs cover…an obvious lie….he was at poker too…

So

Vic 227.4  -1.6

Beagle  204.8 -.8

Trafford  173  +2   He will be massive soon

Parker  247  -2

Boyling 200.2  – 2.3

Questionable weigh ins for sure!

The Quote of The Day

We need to change the culture of this topic and make it OK to speak about mental health and suicide.
Luke Richardson

I personally believe that writing the man blog has helped me cope with my lose and grief in many ways….

I think that a lot of people would be wise to start themselves an anonymous blog and pour their feelings out, maybe no one ever reads them….maybe lots do…but the feelings get out…they are free…and so are you….

I know I am….

I thank my friends…they see me laughing for a reason…the fool is happiest being the fool….

I hope you all have a great day, the weather is fabulous….go talk to a stranger…make someone you don’t know smile.

Babe….I miss you so much…today will be a great day…oh…and Syd got into Canterbury after all…I know you’re proud!…I love your god damned face!!!!!!!

Hey….XO….this isn’t easy….

  1. Anonymous
    May 07, 2015
    Huge congrats to Sydney!! That is wonderful news!! :)
    Reply