Home Alone….Again….

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Home Alone….Again….

Ya…kids went off to school yesterday leaving me at home…alone….

When I was the luckiest man in the world Ev and I would see the kids off and chill…that’s right…we were like an old retired couple….we were able to spend a lot of time together….

Maybe we would go for a run….maybe sit on the porch….possibly watch some TV….

I usually downloaded all of “our shows”….I still do….but they are piling up, I just don’t watch the same amount of TV as we used to….

I spend the day now…lost…that’s how I feel, walking around the house, one room to the other and back again….

I almost never watch tv in the living room….our spots on the sofa are always empty now….

I miss you too much babe….

Today will not be the first day I do not cry……..

Soon…..soon…..

Will I be able to erase myself….can I forget who I am…..

I don’t want to be alone….I don’t like it…I never have….

While on vacation, walking down to the beach at 6 am with Charlotte, she puts her little arm on my back…pats me a couple of times….she says “mommy misses you”….

I tell her I miss mommy too…..crying……..

Right now I burn time….but not forever….at some point I have to get on with living……

Ev and Victor Wheeler Paris Paris

I’m not sure how that is going to happen but I am trying…I have 4 young ladies and a business to take care of…but I do need to take the time to live….for me….

Yesterday I was super tired, 3 hours of sleep….I had a massage at the shop and slept through half of it…I needed the rest…

Today Ave has a ski trip, I’m considering running up there for a couple goes at the board….but I’ve got so much on the go here….and right now that includes the battle of the ladies….the morning turmoil…..

Babe…..this is not easy!….I’ve begged you 100 times to come get me….and i know you are here with me….but if I have to live I’m going to live…..

Fat Is As Fat Does

I weighed in at 217 pounds this morning…a pre bedtime dinner will do that to you…I ate all day yesterday, feeding my exhaustion….

Sarah dropped off a tub of soup…3 or 4 bowls worth maybe….I demolished it along with a bagel, some meat sticks, another bowl of soup this time coconut chicken…along with a sleeve of crackers…what else….maybe a few cookies…

Before long it really isn’t hard to see why I’m up this morning on the scale….

Andy Trafford

Trafford is back at Carlingwood…he hit the scale this morning at 166.7 pounds.  He did better than the rest of us on vacation…

He is only 7 pounds away from 160…but that will be a tough 7….

Parker hit the scale at 244.1 pounds.  He is gunning for the 230’s which is really only 5 pounds away…

I did notice him drinking beer the past 2 nights while I was on the water…..

Beagle has been at 197.2 for 5 straight days….that is a long run of ground hog days…soon he will be speaking german and playing the piano….

The Quote of The Day

When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Harvey Mackay

Ev was forever the Optimist and I used to refer to myself as a realist….which swings hard to the negative…but these days I really do try to consider Ev in every decision I make….Every thought I have….

No thanks today, although I owe plenty…the children took it before school….stroke due to children…it’s a normal life like everyone else……

Warm…time to clean the driveway.

Let’s see…the 5 stages of grief…yesterday was quicksand…today I’m angry….there you go….

I hope you all have a great day.

Babe….I love your face….

XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

COME GET ME!!!!!!!!

 

  1. Anonymous
    Mar 05, 2015
    Is it true....it is better to have loved...then never to have loved at all....I'm sure u would say Yes! Definitely yes! Your time with Ev and your beautiful girls! What you had many people never find...to be heart broken...angry...wanting to join her...all seems so normal...to miss her....I don't know that you will ever not miss her...but one day you will smile instead of cry...one day....date? Companionship....I would think any women would be hard pressed to hold a candle to Ev...you are able ...yes... I was told after a great loss not to make a decision about much until after 1yr....I suppose that makes sense....someone will come...and light you up...I'm sure ...everyone is a mess in there own way...yours is justified...can't say that everyone has such a reason....and yet you do your thing...raise your girls...hang with friends and write your blog! Congrats! Your doing it! Your living!!!! Expand on that as you will each day! Ev would be proud of you! She knew you! She picked you! It's a blessing she had you til her passing to know such a deep love encompassing prob made it easier on her to have you...sorry if I've over stepped or said too much...I do enjoy ur blogs! Squish ur bones!
    Reply
    • Victor Wheeler
      Mar 05, 2015
      Thank you for squishy bones....
      Reply