Monthly archives March 2015

Big Weeks….

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Big Weeks

What will we do….this week.

well we start with this….diet…I’m going to take it easy on trying to kill myself with doritos….it’s been fun and all, but I have to put a stop to it…so today we eat right….

what’s next….the glug…this week we will not drink…well, I use the term week loosely….these week days, come Friday I may have a sip…I’ve been known to have a few….

Friday…..maybe not Friday….

I’ve grown….weaker…I know sit here fighting tears…..I fight against what will come…..

Friday…..is Ev’s birthday……..

Yep….I won’t be celebrating that very much…a bit…..I will raise a glass amongst friends…..I will say it….out loud and in my mind…..100 times that day…..a thousand……..a million…………….

wracking…….

No more birthdays……………..

What do you do….well….you live….you do your best………

Yesterday Charlotte and I talked quite a bit about mommy…Charlotte reminded me that she was going to be beautiful like mommy when she grows up….and I told her smart and strong too….which she knows she said…….

And at the grocery store with Syd and Charlotte later mommy came up several times, we usually discuss Ev at the store, the foods she loved and the things she didn’t.  We always pick a few treats that Ev would have chosen and this trip included some mini eggs….

Ev did enjoy her treats, fuel she would burn off later, punishing herself through sweat.

Today will not be my best week but it won’t be my worst.  I will make the most of it and every one to come.

evbday1evbday2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Beautiful Evelyn…..

I miss you too much babe…….I’m sorry…..I’m trying……………..

I wonder at this moment how much I will wrack this week….I wrack now…typing through tears…..

I do not want to do this….I don’t…..

….it’s one degree…I just checked…..I’m going for a run………………..

I hope you all have a great day……

XO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pain………………PAIN……………….

Come get me……………

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Grief vs Grief….

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Grief vs Grief

Where has the man blog been…well..down….

I had some serious quicksand days this week, kicked off one morning when I realized Charlotte was beginning to….forget…..

Not something I want….and it’s selfish….because forgetting is healing.

Myself…I won’t forget.  I will not….

Even if I wanted to, if I prayed for it to go away, if I paid to have the memories removed……I would not.

It’s simple…..as I unloaded the girls from the truck last night….as I take that moment to do a head count….I realize it once again, and I said it out loud….wow….you look like your mother…..

3 babies here that all share something with Ev.

FINE…..I will cry too….that is something I wish would end…but it won’t….it WILL NOT!!!!!!

Because I miss her too much!!!!!

3 months isn’t enough….a drop in the bucket….

Life is a drop in the bucket….don’t you see that……..it’s all a drop in the bucket…….

Comments about dating….the ruckus you can start by talking about dating…..

Dating….getting to know someone better…..coffee…dinner….conversation……

Those moments between 2 people where you attempt to realize the spark that divides the line between friendship and romance….

It’s no big deal!

And it’s something I could do right now without guilt.  I could go out on a date tonight and not be guilty.

It’s simple….my love is gone…….GONE!  I now have to continue living….I have to keep up a life…I have to do that for me and I have to do that for the kids.

….no good?….figure this out, Charlotte is going to be 5 in 2 weeks, me….I’ll be 44.

Math up……do it up…come on………..I told Ev I didn’t want another baby…..to have a child in my home at 60….but here I am…..ALONE….and when I’m 64 Charlotte will be 25.

I have to attempt to live….a good life….

And that is best spent with a companion by your side……

Anonymous commenters question who that woman would be….who would take it on…..

They say it will have to be a strong woman……I wouldn’t have a weak one….

A confident woman……but of course…

One that lives in the moment…..absolutely….

I HAD THAT!!!!!!  Those are things I prize in a woman…..

I want to raise my girls to be strong confident women that live in the moment…..that is the description of what every healthy human being should be!

Because life happens in the moment…..it is nothing but drops in a bucket!!!!!!!!

And kids….unless you know a grief counselor that understands where I am at…one which fell in love with their spouse, lived almost every drop in the bucket beside them….shared all those drops….and lost them….in 6 weeks……………..

Don’t bother me with it….it’s ridiculous…..this is not grief for dummies….

And if you know of another person in your life….man or woman….that would sit here and pour out their emotions and then post them in a blog for everyone to see……………..raise your hand…..

This is me….on a plate….very few people share this…..even with a counselor…..

I AM DOING THIS!!!!!!!!

Anyway….I spent a day in the quicksand this week….and a few days dipping my toes in to feel the warmth of it….it’s no pleasure….

I’m not doing this for you….this is my healing process…..

playing sand at the man blog

My healing process…..

One more thing…..for those of you that don’t like bad mouthing of absent parents…..

Syd is off for a consult for braces on Monday…her so called ‘Father’ has a dental plan….he used it to rip me off for 1600 in the past….it would be nice of course if it was put to use to cover it’s $2500 maximum for her braces….

But you know what….that guy would take the money….it has to go to him first…and he will spend it on himself….just like last time….

Right Hero?

I know people in your life read this….I hope they point you to the next line for a quick read.

Go take a look in the mirror….how’s that feel?

Me?  I give up things every day so that the kids can do dance, play soccer, baseball, piano…..  You?

I know….single fathers are going to send me nasty comments….go ahead….fill your boots.  I know both sides of that story, I assure you.

Well….that was some man blog…..I think I covered a few bases there…….

The Quote of The Day

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.
Gloria Steinem

We are made to believe that men and women are so different….but the differences between a man and a woman are no different than the space between any 2 people.

We are trained as children to believe there is a difference….we are raised differently…and we compete differently as children amongst ourselves that create a divide….

I raise strong babies here.  Bring your strapping young man over to compete….and good luck to you….

My wife could take any man…pound for pound she was the strongest person I ever met…

Babe….I love you….every day….I miss you……I miss you very much…….

The Weigh In

I’m at 227 pounds this morning….trying to kill myself with Doritos….

Up 15 pounds in maybe 2 weeks.

It ends today…..I’m not sure how….but one thing is for sure….the fruit loops in bed stops now!

On Monday I touch base again with a fresh weigh in from everyone and so much more….

Thanks to all of you.  Anonymous commenters….I truly do appreciate everything, even that which I feel negatively about.  It makes me consider it….the other opinion….and I may just take something from it…even if I hate it.

XO

Have a great day!

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Remember me?

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Remember me?

It’s been a while….

Who am I ….

Who can I be…..

I can be what I once was….that wasn’t much trouble….

Wait…things have changed….my babies…..love….my love….

fak………..I am not where I want to be…..not even close.

Fresh comment…yesterday maybe…….this morning????  lately.

3 months isn’t enough…..

No?

3 months is no good…..what????  6?    9 months?    The magic number…12 solid months….One entire year?????

Will that be enough……..will it……will I be better then……

3 years?    5?   How long…….HOW LONG!!!!!!!!!

If 3 months isn’t enough how about you offer up a number……..go for it…..HOW LONG!!!!!!

FOREVER???????????

Figure it out……how long will I look at my babies and not think about it…..not feel bad……

3 months isn’t enough………really??????

How long before I’m allowed to pretend?????????????????????????????????????????

HOW LONG?????

how long……………………..

The issue is simple…..I want to be a human being….sounds easy doesn’t it???  But when I go to the grocery store something inside me moans…….I want to scream at the top of my lungs……

I can pull it off in the truck….as I drive to the pub…..just yelling at the windshield………but you just can’t pull that off in a public place…….

And for a few days now I’ve tried to hide out…………….but I hate that……………..I want to live…..I want to be a normal living human being……

The Quote of The Day

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
Jack Layton

Easy for you to say Jack…..But Jack is right…..

Love……go for it…….just say hello to the person next to you…..smile and say hello….why not……………

Tomorrow I’m going to say hello to every one I pass by…..I’m a mess anyway….what do I have to lose.

Thanks….Mary…..for making me hate it…..Auns….for being there, both of you….Mandy…..for keeping me afloat….Sarah….for making sense…..My friends…..for the laughs………..and the tears………and thank you to pub strangers……for reminding me what matters and what doesn’t…….

We all need to spend more time laughing….I do plenty of it….and I want to do more……

Babe…….I love you too much…..I’m sorry…….I’m trying………………………………………………………..I delete so much from this line…………..wracking……………..I miss you……I miss your face so much!!!!!funny face

 

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How do you get here…..

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How Do You Get Here…

and just as important…where am I and how do I get out….

Where do I go….where do I end up……………

Look at me….honestly….walk up to me on the street and look into my eyes….

What do you see…..

I’m fine…..I’m good…..I feel good…..

I’m not….how can I be…even if you walk up to me at the pub…we chat all night…I’m good……I ‘m great….

What am I, I’m a good guy.  Damn it I’m a great guy.

What a mess…..quicksand right up to the eyeballs…..can you see it?

I want to get to the end…..I want to be better……….

Ya….I’m making a public spectacle of myself….the big man…pouring out his thoughts, his emotions….

Go to bed idiot…..no……

Now I’m arguing with my better judgement….another night time man blog….moron….

Why am I doing this…why…cooler heads do this in the morning….

Am I pushing it…..

hmmm….am I pushing away my chances……or I am trying to make myself ready…..

Yep….I’m a real catch….that’s what it comes down to….I just want to be a human again….

Why not…….why should I wrack….

Because I do…..I am…..quicksand……….

I hate it……

I just want to be me….whatever that ends up being…..this is NOT it…………………

Babe…..I’m trying…………It’s super hard……..

I already know what tonights picture is….it’s in my mind….ME……..this……

Victor Wheeler and Ev love
I just want to be ME….this ME……………

tomorrow I run….I find the time to run……and run….and run…………………….

I don’t want to do this…..I don’t

 

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The Late Night Man Blog…

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The Late Night Man Blog….

But wait….the dreaded late night man blog….we shall see….

What did my weekend become….20 loads of laundry…more….30?  maybe…it seemed endless….

Kids….I’ve got kids out the ying yang….lol….but they are getting it….we all have to do our part….fold our laundry….

And I sit here many nights a week…watching Syd and Charlotte dance….watching ave run down the street….just seeing how beautiful and strong these girls are….my girls….

You forget about it…some days…some weeks…but then you see it…a facebook video posted by a 3rd party….and you remember exactly what brought you to this place….

Love…..

Did I cry today….sure…so what….hey, I’ve got things to deal with that most of you will not deal with for many decades to come….I’m thinking about what to put on a monument….a grave stone….our names….our birthdays….other things…..

Ya…that makes me sad….it’s a bit of finality….you can’t erase a date from that….it’s heavy….really heavy….

But that isn’t all I did today….while dealing with that I spoke to my mother in law….we chatted about life….the family…my family….ya…I cried….

I’m going to do that….

Later though, I went out to the pub with the boys to watch the game, the Sens won….it was fun…during those hours we talked about many things….and Ev was part of it….and me….how I am….

Well….I am….and I’m good….I feel good…..sure I’m sad, I cry sometimes….but I cry for a good reason…..

Love…………..

I left a bar tonight and came home alone….on the way I thought about my loneliness a bit…and I realized something important…I was happy.

I’m not always happy to be alone…but tonight I was….happy to come home alone.

…there is some comfort in it….

Anyway…I don’t expect to always be alone.  It will be some time before I come home…here…and not be alone…….but I will not always be alone….

Picture…let’s see what strikes me tonight….IMG_3928

 

There we go….strong….beautiful….smart…….

Love……

Babe…..babe………………I love your face…………..thank you for loving me………

No quote……

Too fat to weigh in…..

I’m okay…..I’m good….sad…..wracking…..but I’m better…………………

Thanks to my pals…..I love you guys…..

 

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The Sun does It’s thing….

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The Sun does It’s thing….

I sit here in my office every morning pounding away at this keyboard…and finally the seasons are changing enough that the sun breaks the pane of my window…

For many people the thought of having the sun glaring at them while trying to type furiously would be an annoyance…for me…it’s welcome…I am ready for new things….to live out my first….

That will include things as simple as sitting on the porch….drinking my coffee…

I’m good today, I feel good….so good in fact that I’m changing up the man blog format…maybe forever…maybe just for today….

Today I weigh in at 218.6 pounds, down a pile from yesterday…and I plan on getting back under 215 by the end of the weekend…simple really…no booze  🙂

The past few weeks I had actually made the switch back to rum and cokes when I was out….geeeezus…not good.  So that’s over…it’s time to get a few things back in line.

Trafford is way down!  He weighs in this morning at just 163.8.  He is only 4 pounds away from his goal and tells me he isn’t even trying.

Well sadly my dear friend Trafford is on a miracle diet….and it goes by the name of STRESS….

xo…

Beagle left for work before I could throw out a request for a weigh in….

That means that he actually woke up before me this morning!  I slept in until 7:41!!!!!  That is the latest I have slept in this decade.  It also amounts to about 7 hours of solid sleep….and for me, that is a good sign.

Parker….I’m not sure where Parker is at on the weight…but I know he will be skipping rope most of the day….

Parker balboa
Parker is training…for what I’m not sure….

I do hope this doesn’t become a new habit….

Today the family and I are headed out to Brockville.  We will celebrate Ave’s birthday a second time and I have a few things to take care of while I’m out there….

Wait one second…Parker has just reported in at 245 pounds…he is still holding it together.

It’s really just Beagle and I that have packed some on…I’m done with that…..

Seriously, 215 by Monday…..I’m on the water this weekend!

Crap……

So….How was today’s man blog?  It was exactly as it once was….this is what the man blog was before November 2014…..and it will be this again….

Today….I am going to pour tears….yes I am.   But right now….no.

Lover….I miss you…..so much……………………………………….those are hard tears to fight……………….

The Quote of The Day

 Remember this, folks – I am a Hillbilly, and I don’t always Bet the same way I talk. Good advice is one thing, but smart gambling is quite another.

Hunter S. Thompson

That is it folks….it does apply…you’ll have to think it through for yourselves.

Boys….may we raise a glass of ice cold clear water very soon….

Lover….I will always raise my glass for you…..

it’s touch and go…..but I made it…..

 

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The Path…

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The Path…

Where do I go from here….anyone….

You meet some one you really love….you just….give in to it….your life seems to just roll…there may be bumps….but you feel like everything is going to get smoothed out….the path is perfect…..

I didn’t give it much thought before….I knew my life was great…every one around me knew it…you could look at me and know I was happy….

I wonder what people see when they look at me today….

I wonder how much of what is inside me shows to strangers….

look at me…feeling sorry for myself….I’m crying…..

So today I’ve cried….I can’t help it if I write the man blog…it just makes me think about things.  About Ev….

Lover……..I love your face…..

Yesterday I didn’t cry. no man blog.

On the 17th yes,…3 months….St.Patty’s day….at the Heart and Crown….an old friend of mine and I shed a few tears….in front of 300 plus people….

It wasn’t uncontrolled sobbing, there is a chance it went unnoticed…..

I had 6 little ones here for a day with my Sister’s youngest having a sleepover….it was good, 6 little girls….Ev would be proud of me, doing as much as I can, being a good Father to all these ladies….

Being a Dad is a huge part of who I am…and I’m sure it was a huge part of why Ev loved me so much……….

Where am I going today….my mind is scattered…..

I need a path…..I need to figure out where I am headed……I need to find out where I am at right now……

Lost……………

IMG_1009

Today my path still exists….I am on it….I just can’t see where it’s headed….

One thing I do know…it exists with every one in the above photo….and although it kills me to have to do this without Ev…who I love too much….I have to….for everyone else….including me.

Wracking…..

The Man Blog Weigh In

This morning…221.6 pounds. a miracle really….I ate 3 slices of pizza after 10 pm last night….I thought I’d be at 230!

Today though is really REALLY the end of it…I’m going to go for a run and I’m going to do some lifting….the END.

I have to run the manotick miler in 5 week….How the hell am I going to pull that off!

I will get man weights for all the boys today and tomorrow we start the new baseline….I do know that Trafford is the only one of us anywhere near on target!

The Quote of The Day

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
Buddha

I walk the path.

Thanks today to all of my friends, although I walk this path I hate so much, I have the support of so many amazing people….

And that Kevin Parker can actually throw down if he needs to…. Duane Newell…always a pleasure buddy, I’ve put you on the list….we chat again soon.

Warmer today…and the sun in shinning gloriously!  Get out there and soak a bit of it up.

Babe….I love you so much….I’m doing this…it will be okay….promise……

wracking………….

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Stuck in….

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Stuck In….

Did I cry yesterday….well outside of the blog…no…

And I might make it right now…I feel properly separated from myself…

The little lady count is up to 6 here at the Wheeler residence with another of my nieces opting to come here for a sleepover…no big deal really because once you get to 4…there doesn’t seem to be an number that will bring it back over the tipping point…

This morning the bigger 3 have already opted to bus into Barrhaven for starbucks and a movie….

When you wake up to a clean home it isn’t easy to say no…so I gave them some moula and told them to enjoy their day.

Yesterday was a busy day, I made a trip out to Winchester and tried to get a few things done around the house….I then made it out of the house for a quick sip with the boys…just one….

But I had to make the decision to get out of the house…I’ve been stuck in…It’s an internal battle….one I want to lose…I rather get out and have a few laughs than sit here think about what ifs…..

What ifs…..

That will bring on the tears……I’ll wrack now thanks…………….

first summer

Sadly not a huge photo…our first summer together…..

I don’t want to do this….

I just want to go….I wish I could just jump on a flight to another life………………

I’m stuck in…………

Here it is….I want to move on with my life…I want to start being a normal person….but I’m simply very very sad….and I’m not used to it…….I don’t know what to do with it….and I can candy coat it all I want, but inside it grows…and it’s just tears kept inside until they turn the entire world around me into quicksand…..

I need to get away……

In the end though….although the big girls would let me go away for a weekend when ever I would like….I have little Charlotte….and I defy any man to look into that face and tell her she wont be seeing daddy….That little pout will get that idea right out of your head….

Someday though…..they are all getting bigger…..

The Weigh In

221 for me this morning….not good…but back below 220 pounds tomorrow.

Parker is at 246 pounds.

They now sell egg rolls at Beagles place of employ…it’s over for him.

Trafford is juggling a life at the moment….

We will all be back to our lightest soon enough.

The Quote of The Day

Language… has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich

Quicksand, darkness, loneliness…I’ve done my time…and I’ll do more, no problem.

Kids….let’s be great to one another today.  I’m throwing out the love….wish everyone you speak to a great day…it too easy!

Babe……..oh babe…………I just want to be with you……………………..I miss you too much………………….

 

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Eyes Wide Open…

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Eyes Wide Open….

Friday night….that’s when I realized the amount of time I spend in bed….laying there….thinking I’m asleep….with my eyes wide open…..

So…Very little sleep for me.  Not only do I lay there staring at a wall in the dark…for some reason I’m clenching my teeth….my jaw hurts…

Likely part of the reason I give up…this morning I gave up after 4 hours…sleep?….4 hours of being in bed anyway….

Yesterday I did not cry…busy day…driving a truck and trailer through a snow storm in Quebec…too focused on staying alive to think about what is missing….

Saturday of course was a different situation…being deep in the quicksand.

This morning….so drained….so frigin tired…….

Last night before bed….as I reached over to Ev’s side of the bed…Charlotte says to me that mommy is there….she puts her hand on mine and tells me that mommy’s hand is between ours….

That little pain in the butt…..I love her…..

Anyway….I do imaging that mommy is there….right where I want her to be…..

You see…..writing this blog makes me think about her….and that means I’m going to pour tears…..

I hate it…..I hate missing her so much……..

I know you’ve all heard it before but this is the woman I love….we had so much together…..she was my life……

Evelyn Wheeler Charlotte Wheeler and Avery Skinner

My babies…..

Lover….I’m trying….it’s very hard……..I miss you so much babe…..I wish you were here so badly……

wracking…………………..

It’s March break, as Charlotte would say….today is not a school day.  My little niece Lola is over, she does like to eat…hollow leg….

Ev loved the company of her niece and nephews, and I enjoy it too….it isn’t easy to have more kids here…but really…I’ve got so many little ladies around it’s hard to even notice one more….

Yep…a house full of young ladies….

Most of the time it’s good, but of course there are moments…the battle of the brushes…the cleaning of rooms….these things fly like lead balloons….but we get through them….

Grown up break some day…..Lover….let’s go away……………

This is it kids….I Hate This……..

The Weigh In

I’m at 223 pounds this morning….yesterday’s road trip had me eating fast food all day….

Today I lose 5 pounds.  This week I drop 10.

NO weigh in from the boys, it’s only 5 am….tomorrow I’ll have the full update and some imbecilic photos…promise….

The Quote of The Day

Don’t go away. I don’t want to be alone. I can’t stand being alone.
Arnold Rothstein

Stuck between loneliness and isolation….

I don’t want to be alone….and I don’t want to see anyone…..

wonderful….

Have a great day…..

Cheers

 

 

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Avery…aka Ethel….

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Avery…aka Ethel….

Today is Avery’s 11th Birthday…the first of many since her mother passed away…..

wracking….that didn’t take much….

Avery is a beauty…like her mother….she is super athletic…like her mother….smart as a whip….like her mother….

I love my little Avery.

Yesterday was Avery’s first of 2 planned birthday parties, this one spent at the Lone Star…It was a great time and Ave seemed very happy.

Ave isn’t very happy though….Ave starved for her mother’s attention when Ev was here….she is a serious cuddler…and she wanted to be close to Ev…

Her Hero.

Ev was so proud of Ave…she loved that Ave could run to Charlotte’s bus stop every day…from school, and beat the bus….

Babe…..I miss you…………..Avery Skinner birthday

I don’t want to do this anymore….any of it….I’m just so tired of being this…..

I spent a couple of days trying to fake it….pretend I was better…but it just gets packed away…it makes quicksand….and I spent most of the day in it yesterday….it wasn’t my best day….

Sadly I feel a bit of another stage of grief creeping in….Isolation….

Although this is supposed to be part one….I find myself just wanting to pack myself away along with my emotions….

I suppose, again, the kids save me from being able to isolate myself…they either force me to get out with them…or without them….

Well….My darling Ethel, which is Ev’s nickname for Ave, will keep me smiling…proud of her every day.  This summer Ave is going to give little league and soccer a go…that should keep me out of the house!

Anyway…that’s it for today….I’m hoping to climb out of this right now….this minute….here goes…

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Okay…okay…okay

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Okay…okay…okay

I’m doing this…I have to…

short blog…where I’m at…

It’s time to make believe…to live my life as a normal guy….one that doesn’t cry every day…

Today…ya, I cried…so what….

So What…..

I’m a mess….so….

You know…I’m lonely….I’d like to share this with someone…but I can’t…because I’m too messy.  and no one deserves that…..just me.

Just me……….

Yep….me….I’ll just do my thing….me a great dad….a good friend…..a human……

Wracking………

Oh to be a human……………….

Victor Wheeler kisses Evelyn Kindervater-Wheeler

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Yesterday

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Yesterday

No blog yesterday…I wasn’t going to write this today either….

Yesterday I knew if I didn’t write the man blog that it was going to be the first day I didn’t cry.

And it was….

I had some moments, but I did not pour tears…

There we go…

How is this possible?  Well, I’m placing some of my feelings into tiny little boxes and locking them up…I’m not sure why I have made this decision…but it’s time…for now…I may feel differently before the end of the day…who knows.

The man blog is going to return to what it once was….a celebration of life……

So today I also don’t think I will cry….

This change has nothing to do with dating…I haven’t been on a date…if fact I’ve pretty much already given up on it again…

I just think something inside me changed on Tuesday….maybe just talking to the neighbors…maybe while I was out…I don’t know…

And I’m not sure if it’s for the better or worse, if it’s here to stay or will go…but for now…..

I’m just going to do this…..

Victor Wheeler Family

This is us….

oh…so close…so close………

saved by the battle of the brushes…..

Went to Cinderella last night with the ladies….

Let’s see, the story opens up to a common girl who loses her mother to a mysterious illness…shortly afterward she loses her father to a mysterious illness…she rides a horse into the forest and meets a man who has lost his mother to a mysterious illness who shortly thereafter loses his father to a mysterious illness…..

And they all live happily ever after….or what is left of them….and a bunch of pictures hanging on the wall.

Well…there’s a fairy tale you hate to miss.

The Weigh in

I find myself over 220 this morning at 221.4 pounds.  Late night eats!

No more….

I think I slept for 2 hours last night…it won;t be easy not to eat the house tonight while I fight just to stay awake!

Trafford weighs in at 165ish, Beagle is gunning to tie me and Parker is losing more weight than ever on a new and improved diet of beer and curry…go figure.

Maybe I’m just off today….what stage of grief is this???  Who knows…

Let’s call this spring….

Get out there and enjoy it.

Babe…I love you.

 

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