Today signed passport documents and permission to travel will arrive at our front door. I have a tracking number and confirmation from a 3rd party that both are inside an envelope and on their way here with a guaranteed 10:30 delivery.
I thank that 3rd party for her assistance…immensely!
I also have some options in regards to getting these passports processed should the regular channel let me down, for that I am also immensely thankful for…
And I’m sorry I can’t cough out my email address over the phone, choked up and in tears…emotionally unstable…yes.
I long for the days when I can just carry on like a regular human being without cautiously feeling out my emotional response to a phone call or a purchase in a store or sitting alone at a red light…
If not for the tint in the pickup can you imagine how many people would have seen this ogre pouring tears….
But…as it stands I am 99.9% sure we will be on a plane to Cuba and tomorrow I’ll be able to give you an update on the last .1%, although I am sure that won’t be an issue….I have my documents and I’ll be dealing with a human being…or 2…so I should be able to reason should a small obstacle arise.
My darling Sydney told me yesterday morning that she was 95% sure it would not happen, but I assured her the forms would arrive.
Consider this Todd, if you had sent the forms on Monday as your promised, slipped $20 in the envelope along with a note telling Ave and Syd to have fun and buy themselves a beautiful necklace….should you have had the wisdom to do that…those girls would have put you up high in their hearts and minds…you could have secured their love…
Also consider that come February 22, a group of 20 will be travelling to Cuba, friends of mine and some of their children…20 people that love these children and adults that love each other. I promise you the ladies will have the time of their lives. I hope that makes your day better.
….Today will not be the first day I do not cry……..
I want my wife back……
…………I woke up this morning at 1 am….I lay in bed trying to dream of Ev….trying to live out another day with her in my dreams…but the dreams won’t come….I can’t see her in them….her face is out of focus no matter how hard I try to see it….I so wish I could live out my days with her in my dreams….
wracking…..I need an emotional break folks….I want to see the first day I don’t cry…sitting here in the mornings is very painful…
Someone commented yesterday that they wanted to know how Ev and I met…well…online…plenty of fish…
We had our first date at a now closed restaurant in Brockville. We met at 7:30, sat down and started talking…although we opened our menus a few times we never did order food….we just talked and talked until the restaurant closed….
We probably sat there for 5 hours…
I kissed her for the first time in the parking lot…a place I would sometimes visit while she was alive…
That’s right…when she was alive if I was driving by I would pull in and circle the parking lot to relive the moment….
Well there goes another cup of tears….wracked…The best day of my life remembered…..lost……
Took a moment for myself there….I really hope that is the last time I cry today, But I have my doubts…
Just went to the shop to pick up sheets….Oh my lord I have a lot of tears in me…but that’s tomorrow’s blog….
Before I get to the weigh in this morning….I love you out there so much…I hate pouring tears but I love to know I love her this much…and sitting here not being able to see the keys…well…some of it is your fault…making me write the blog and sharing my feelings allows me to feel them….
Fatty Weighs In
You can drink water and eat right all day long….until the evening…
Yes folks…I am punishing myself with food late at night. I even tried to get Syd not to let me eat while we watched a movie together in the evening and found myself sneaking cookies and candies….after pleading with her to let me have a cup of nuts and some raw fruit….
I would love to tell you that this is a doctored image of Kevin Parker…life insurance specialist…and kindly allow me a plug right now…This man CAN save you MONEY on your life insurance… He really can. Change your regular mortgage insurance into a term policy perhaps, the smart thing to do…and pay less…You can do it!
Okay…back to Parker…just look at that face! Looks like he had a bad go with some Africanized Bees…holy smokes.
To be fair though, Kevin is not cheating on his diet plan, pgx shakes I believe. He has lost over 10 pounds.
Trafford is also on the PGX and has also lost 10 pounds…and he was so skinny he almost didn’t exist to begin with.
Russett is losing weight steadily on the starvation diet, I’m sure he will be in the 180’s with today update.
Me? Fatty? Well at 9 last night I managed 2 cups of mixed nuts, easily 2 cups of raw veg, let’s say….hmmm…50 gum balls…and why not be honest… another 50 ish sour cherry ball things…
Yes, load up on some late night carbohydrates….
Wait…I had 2 cookies…was it 2 or was it 4?
I think 2…I was sugar drunk at that time so it isn’t entirely clear.
I weigh in this morning exactly where I was yesterday.
I want to be under 210 by the end of the week, which is going to find me in Toronto at Ev’s sisters house…who is married to an Italian guy….
Are there carbs in pasta and bread?
I’m in trouble….
Today…do I try to be good to myself today? Well the gym is out…stitches…so I have that excuse…I’ll come up with more….
The Quote of The Day
Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.
I have suffered all of the abilities of words…some of my suffering, to heal and to humble, have made me a better human being. My words….and yours.
I have given thanks this morning and give it again…to everyone that helped me get passports…not only physically but mentally. Your support is much appreciated….all of you.
Cold…will it end….
Babe…we are getting through this, and we are doing it exactly as you’d love it to be…I love your face……..