Regrets…

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In Dreams there are Regrets

What dreams may come…

should I review yesterday…does that end when I open my eyes…is yesterday done, did I survive another day?

Ev is in my dreams now, I see her…I’m not sure the exact day that she started to exist in my dreams about our last day together but it was in this past week…

Today will not be the first day I don’t cry….

Fuck….

My dreams of Ev have always been of her last day…it’s only been from that morning until she past………

The hospital bed was simply empty…or maybe in my dream I didn’t look at it…but this morning she was there, and she may have been for a couple of days but I didn’t realize it…

And my dreams….they are just regrets…what might have happened differently…was there a chance….were there times I could have stolen yet another kiss at the very least….just one more kiss….

It’s not fair that I have to wrack out here….It isn’t fair that my love is gone…

This morning session with the man blog…it better be therapeutic because it certainly is draining me of tears…

Evelyn goes golfing

So much happiness…it’s evaporated…….it’s missing….

I had a reasonable day yesterday after wracking out the man blog, I went on a road trip with my brother in law…and for most of the 8 hours I didn’t think about my love Evelyn…but when I did, the weight is enormous…the power of this woman…my love…

The weight hits me again 10 kilometers from home, my little ones with me in the truck, Charlotte asking how much longer…I know I’m going home…without her….

When will I not cry?

The Quote of the Day:

Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
Joseph Campbell

What a joke….

Cold…regret….pain….

please let me not write the man blog tomorrow……………..please……I’m not out of tears but can’t manage the quicksand…

  1. Anonymous
    Jan 11, 2015
    Yes you can manage the quicksand, you're Herc. Big Hugs Buddy.
    Reply
  2. Anonymous
    Jan 11, 2015
    Stay strong. You're a good man. There will always be those what if moments but no one can predict the future. All you can do is raise your children the way Evelyn envisioned and live for the moment and to its fullest. You are awesome! Dan
    Reply
  3. Anonymous
    Jan 12, 2015
    Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.
    Reply