Not all New Years…

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New Years at the Man Blog

The beginning of the first new year of my life….without Evelyn…

Today will not be the first day I don’t cry….

Last night I did what I have always done on Wednesday nights, poker at Beagles.  It was a good night, the ladies went out for a sleepover, although only one of them made it through the night.  3 found their way back to me and we were home before midnight.

It wasn’t the best homecoming, there was a bit of bickering…there were tears…but we were able to settle in to a bit of a movie for 20 minutes before we all decided to go to bed…

It isn’t going to be easy to raise a house full of teenage girls…holy smokes.

I’ve had a few angry grief days recently, some angry at Ev, others angry at myself for being mad at her.  There are so many emotions involved in my day to day that I find myself constantly searching for the answers to my feelings.  This being a good outlet as writing the blog makes me reflect on the day before…

For years Ev and I made a habit of watching our ‘shows’.  There were simply shows we always watched together…I hardly look at the tv these days…it just isn’t the same.

Charlotte woke up and said Mommy last night….not loud…not calling out to her far away…but softly like she was making sure she was in the room, in bed beside her…She sat up and said Mommy…

I wanted to ask her what she was dreaming, but instead I comforted her back to sleep…I want Ev back in bed too…even if just to have her tell me not to put my cold feet on her…

I love your face babe!

Victor Wheeler and Evelyn Kindervater-Wheeler
There were no kisses this New Years, and there will never be another from my love…what a great set of lips!!!  my goodness….

wracking tears….

Hopefully today is a great day for me and the kids, a nice day of relaxation…once the ones that are home wake up anyway…

Before I get to the weigh in, I’ll pass on thanks to my friends and family that help me get through the days.  Martin, one of these times when you stop by I will be home, Mike, Darren, Beagle, Parker, Kevin, Hearty, Derek…this list is much longer…you keep me going ever day, as do all the other guys around me that take the time out of there busy lives just to check in…

Again, friends neighbors and strangers trying to help me get on with the days.

The weigh in…up 2 pounds to 218.4 pounds.  Not bad, on top of breakfast and lunch I managed 3 huge fajitas from the lonestar…if anyone wants fajitas for breakfast Mandy bought dinner for 20….ahhh…fajitas all week folks…

where was I…3 huge fajitas…peanut m&m’s….I had a few, fiddle faddle, crunch and munch, popcorn, oh wait….scotch…scotch…tracksuit…tracksuit…scotch…tracksuit…it goes on and on.

So 2 pounds doesn’t seem like much.  I wouldn’t have gotten into the tracksuits but every day in the early evening I seem to crash hard.  I guess I haven’t seen more than 6 hours of sleep in a night in 2 weeks and most nights get 4-5 tops…

Beagle starts his 30 pounds in 30 days diet today…it all about the chicken and rice…he did this one last year, maybe the year before and dropped very close to 30.  Yes we have been doing the man blog diet for years…I think 3…it’s sad…

1000 diets…no kidding…and now I’m down 40 pounds in 40 days…eating whatever I want…

I’ll get weigh ins for Parker and Beagle and we will start tracking their progress.

It won’t be easy, but considering that one of the poker guys threw a heart attack at 40 this week, we might all want to take a look at what we can cut out of our daily intake…right Chris?  Of course after Chris escaped from his 36 hour visit at the hospital he drove over to Beagles for poker…and tracksuits…5 pumps of the vodka sourpuss covered in redbull…

I do think he only had 2….in the dark recesses of his mind…he does not want to be back at the Perth General…

A picture of one of the boys sporting a beauty of a leotard?  No.  I close out today with a second photo of my love…Just have a look at her…evelyn kindervater-wheeler

The Quote of the Day:

Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.
Goran Persson

That right there kids…that’s what my wife was about…

Let us all be better to one another and this year and every other will be filled with happiness.

 

 

Warmer today, looks like we may get snow on the weekend, I’m hoping for 4 feet…the shoveling gives me quiet time with fat snowflakes…a good time to think…and likely make ice on the driveway out of my frigin tears…

geeez…

Before I send my day off…I apologize that sometimes this reads like I’m in a dark depressing place, I hope it doesn’t affect you negatively…I don’t want that…I want all the light shiny places but they aren’t always there…I have to talk about the dark spots here so that I can realize the light ones…poker…or visits with friends…or the pub with the gbg…or just a wee bird flying by while I’m in traffic…

I know…I’m not sane…I understand that…but this is where I’m at…

anyway…before I delete all that…

Cheerio…maybe no man blog for a couple of days…we will see

 

 

  1. Anonymous
    Jan 08, 2015
    I think about little Charlotte. I think about all of the girls. But I can't stop thinking about Charlotte. This is the thought that reduces me to tears. It hurts to read your pain. But it comforts me in a strange way. I love you all ....
    Reply