Life Lessons…

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Man Blog Life Lessons

First let me say this…no beer today.  It’s getting out of hand and I hate to find solace in a bottle.

This week is the first time in years…years and years…that I’ve found myself having a beer every day for 5 days straight.

Now much of this can be attributed to Christmas and the line up of birthdays celebrated amongst friends the past week but…it’s too much.  And last night was too late and too much.

I woke up yesterday wondering if it would be the day I didn’t cry…it was not.  I tried to capture my emotions several times, to limit the quicksand…but it was impossible many many times…

The last month of Ev’s life I took such good care of her…I fought hard for her life.  I did everything that could be done…and we were close the last 6 weeks.  We were inseparable most of the time anyway, but we just soaked up each other during that time…

There were some tough weeks, her first chemo treatment kept her in bed for days, but after that she did improve…we were able to get out and do a bit of shopping…buy gifts for the kids…hold hands and stroll a bit…

Yesterday, I took the kids out for dinner, we met up with a few of the soccer guys, the GBG.  It was Kevin Parker’s birthday, 42…and he and wee Charlotte really hit it off.  There were lots of great laughs…

There was wracking also…but I learned something I didn’t quite understand until last night…

I learned that grief for my spouse, how I feel about my loss, is not necessarily different than how another person might feel about the loss of a parent or sibling…I mean I’ve had a lot of talks with people lately in which they tell me they understand how I feel as they had lost a mother, brother, sister, father…maybe even a pet…

My inside voice would be telling these people that their loss wasn’t the same as mine…

…but it is…to them.  They may have loved the person they lost…having a connection much like I felt with Ev…and their loss met with suffering like mine.

So…I’m a better man today…I’ve learned an important thing about other peoples feelings…and I may just have to hand out a few apologies…

Okay…a couple days ago I had moved all the videos and pictures I had on both of our phones onto my computer…and I had backed up some of them to an online server…when disaster happened…my drive crashed.

I was hurt…I lost these great memories…but I moved past it, reinstalling windows on the drive and got my computer up and running…wrote my man blog…..

This morning I came downstairs with the intent of working through a windows activation issue…I rebooted my computer…

Up comes the old OS, with all the files…the drive is 100% intact as if I hadn’t done a new install of windows on it…

I mean I actually just spent the past hour moving all the files I thought I lost onto DVD’s which I can upload to the online server later today…

I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation for that….but I have NO idea what it is…

Evelyn KIndervater-Wheeler and Charlotte Wheeler making funny faces

At least my wife wouldn’t think I was a loon…I’m starting to wonder….

Onto the fatness of it all…

This morning I weighed in at 218.6, up 2 pounds…and actually happy about it…

I was worrying about the weight loss and yesterday I did a bit of a test, aided by the GBG, the Auns’ and my neighbor Moe…good old fashioned 2 dinner night…if that doesn’t pack it on THEN you know you are in trouble…

Parker, it’s time to drop a pound or 2…that or its time for new clothes…popping buttons on that hilfiger…Russett…you know what to do…

Me…I’m going to hit the gym hard in the new year…I want to get into the best shape of my life…which means work and lots of it…

Victor Wheeler

I still have this shirt…and I can now get into it…but I’m not filling the sleeves the way I used to…maybe by the summer…

The Quote of The Day:

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

That is That.

Good weather folks, not a bad winter thus far…

Cheerio

  1. Anonymous
    Dec 27, 2014
    Vic - I do the family genealogy or try my best at it anyway. I started this several years ago when one of the nieces had posted a question online asking for information that she should have had easily. I Had no money so I thought it would be a great wedding gift if I did the genealogy for her online so she could just 'click' and be able to see it. She did not appreciate it but after years of hard word some other relatives have and each time someone new asks me for access to view it online I feel the many hours and hard work was worth while. In the day of even our parents view photographs exist either because they did not own a camera and had to go to the 'city' to hire a professional to take a photograph or they just never had the money to do that and sadly there may be few if any, photos in an entire lifetime. We are fortunate today that we have access to the technology to take 'selfies' even many times a day and in my genealogy search to find a photo of a grandmother or grandfather is like finding gold to me. I mentioned to you at the funeral reception that you should think of collecting and 'guarding' these photos of Ev and guaranteeing that they will never be lost to you or more especially, to her babies. Often when we think we are safe by having them on our hard drives we are not, for the very reason you experienced - the dreaded 'blue screen of death' -- Even a cousin that came before me who did the Coligan genealogy and spent a great deal of his time and effort...his efforts are lost to me as technology changed and what hardware or software he used is inaccessible to me now. Good old fashioned printing and saving those photos is likely best --- having a set for all children is the exception rather than the rule but so very important --- perhaps next year's Christmas present for the babes --- although it would be a lot of work. So very glad you took this to heart and are working on it. I also want your e-mail so I can approve you to view our family genealogy on line that I have created. It is only accessible if I approve the viewer as some people feel it is intrusive. I personally believe it belongs to all of us and should be accessible to all, as our lives to not end when our bodies do - there will be many, many grand children and great grand children of Evelyn Kindervater-Wheeler who will one day love to see her photo and be astonished that they are able to connect with their predeasor. All my love, cousin Caroline Coligan, known to the family as Kelly Coligan - the old, maiden aunt who had no children and knows the value of having them.
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