Monthly archives June 2014

heart attack here we come…

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over 30 degrees with the humidity yesterday and I managed a 5 km run.  You’d think that a run, eggs and bacon for breakfast, a chicken breast for lunch and some pork roast for dinner would allow me to shed a pound.

No way…242 this morning.

It might have been the 3 beers I drank out with the golden boys, Parker was one of them.

Yes 3 light beers and I may have eaten an entire bag of popcorn when I got home…so there is the culprit…and I can forget about low carbs as I demolished 200 of them in that delicious bag of super heated corn.

Kevin hasn’t been on the scale for a while but thinks he is into the 250’s. It does seem that he isn’t quite as voluminous as he once was so his last diet did seemingly get him down 10 pounds—-ish.

He did mention that he might try to lose a few pounds…

Me…I’m trying…my 500th diet this year.  But I’m not really dieting, I’m exercising and trying to eat a bit better…a bit.

I’ll tell you this though, at some point at the pub last night I went for a piss, and glancing sideways towards the mirror I get a good view of my belly…terrible….

Anyway, I’m trying.  Today I don’beerbellyt have to run, it’s a rest day…and tomorrow I only have to put in 2 miles, 3 on Sunday…no problem.

The wife and kids are off camping, I’m going to try to get the garage organized and get some work done on the firebird.  I may lift a bit of the old weights…at the gym or at home, I might as well get the t-rex, unbending arm pain portion of hitting the gym out of the way.

Beagle will be performing what he refers to as belly ups…as a shorter gentleman his arms no longer reach the floor while attempting pushups so he uses his belly to keep him aloft.

Also good for parlour tricks like the one pictured above…win a free nacho if you can balance a beer on your belly for more than 20 seconds.  Beagle loves Nachos…

Quote of the day if it isn’t the news its super rich morons:

I love Africa in general South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.
Paris Hilton

And for my buddy Derek that is not willing to travel to the island of Mexico….keep your head up!

This weekend is all about not gaining,  I don’t care if I lose, I just don’t want to be over 242 on Monday.

We shall see….



man love…

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I didn’t plan on going into 17 decimal places while recording my weight this time around but…it’s that or the ground hog.


There, I lost weight…and I was super good yesterday, eggs and bacon for breakfast, meatballs and broc for lunch and chicken breast with broc for dinner.  A couple wee rums, straight up and 1 beer.

For like half a frigin pound…

The only food at poker last night was chips, easy to not get into that.  One of the guys was asking me to order up a pizza but I see the doom in that…no need to pack any pizza on.

It was full man love last night.

These 2 were at it again.

Derek was unable to resist Beagles man boobs, stating that they are 2 full cup sizes larger than his wife’s.

He was on those puppies like a starving baby!

Beagle may be dieting a bit, secretly…he also didn’t want to see a pizza enter the garage.

I’m feeling a renewed diet from him, maybe not the extreme starvation diet but he did say he only had a bagel yesterday.

I’ll be attempting 3 miles today…and preparing the food my wife is supposed to be making for the wine and waddle tonight.

Old Jim has been at the gym for a month or so now and is down 7 pounds, if that doesn’t get me back in to do a bit of lifting I’m crazy…We are talking about a 65 year old man here….

I will be at the gym within the next 7 days…I will….I will….

Quote of the day.

I like being small – I’ve known so many women with big boobs who feel overweight or end up with back problems.
Eva Longoria

Looks like Beagle may have some back problems in his future if Eva knows her stuff!

I run, suffer, get laughed at….Beagle is trying to get a staring role on housewives of Riverside South.

Parker is hiding out and a 65 year old man is out lifting every one of us.



There will be pointing…

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Yes…  They do point and laugh when they see Vic running down the road…

Fat man training…

242 pounds today, a ground hog day…no big deal, I’ve lived a thousand.

the man blog ground hog day
I was good though, I ate right yesterday and I put in 2 miles…of speed…

Or let’s phrase that as fat man sprinting, it isn’t pretty.  It’s what my darling wife’s marathon plan calls for though…in no time I’ll be expected to be running 20k.

I better be down 20 pounds by then or the route better be a loop around the local fire department so that I am close to the first response…

Running yesterday I witness the fire truck leaving the building and though…”there goes my safety net”…

Scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, meatballs and green beans for lunch, a bit of pork roast for dinner…3 beers…maybe a few wee rums….and top that off with 2 meat sticks…

Those meat sticks are the clincher…or maybe it’s the beer.  I still figure I’m under 50 carbs for the day, maybe less than 30…and stuck at 242…son of a ……………..

Managed to build another set of stairs for a buddy’s deck yesterday.  Here it is kids…measure the height difference you are trying to cross, divide by 7, the remainder divided by the number of 7’s…ta da…

Now grab your saw and cut…the wood…stay away from fingers.  Any intelligent person should be able to see this in their mind…you can’t?  geez…..

Chunk…aka dumb nuts can figure it out…should be easy for you!

FIFA world cup 2014 is full swing, I have yet to watch an entire game.  Busy with other stuff and missing out on GBG pub events.  Bridge is almost done so any minute now I’ll be over more…

No run today…I may attempt the gym…the agony of it…I better brush my teeth before I go just in case I’m unable to move my arms after working out…

242…how the hell can I not be down half a pound after running like a wild banshee…okay fine…an insane hippo…it doesn’t make sense…

You’d figure all that effort and worry in regards to dropping dead any minute would amount to some sort of weight loss…

Quote de jour?…you bet!

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Steve Martin

I’ll leave the order to you folks…boring….

cloudy…chance of rain…and I’m pretty sure I need a nap…

Wait…it’s Wednesday…damn it!  Tonight I play poker while trying to avoid bon bons…every diet ends on Wednesday…



Down down…

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243 pounds.
I had hoped for more after pulling off a 5 k run and eating well yesterday, plus no beer!

an Egg for breakfast, meatballs and green beans for lunch and a steak and asparagus for dinner.  For a snack I had some yogurt and berries.  I honestly expected to see more man weight gone than one measly pound but maybe I had lost some of that already doing carpentry over the weekend.

Today I have to head out to Chuck’s to build another set of stairs and the wife has it on her marathon training program that I run 2 miles today.

fat man running, the man blog
I don’t mind the running.  When it’s over….

I used to be a pretty good runner, not that long ago either…and I feel pretty good today after the punishment, imagine how good I’d feel doing it at 220…

Keep dreaming right…I’ve been at this for 2 years now and I’m exactly the same weight I was when I started!

I do believe we are back at the gym this week also, it’ll be a T-rex imitation this week for sure.

Not having the ability to shampoo your hair isn’t so bad, it’s having to sleep with your arms bent that’s killer.

I’m going to go for it another day though, better get a jump on poker night tomorrow!

I guess we should follow up here with a news story, no need to mention my super fat friends…

Always a news headline on CNN worth mentioning.

Of course this isn’t recent folks, this is from before they reported that the man was dead.  Before that CNN was pretty sure he was either dead or alive…

I’m not sure who writes this stuff, maybe it’s supposed to be funny.

The Quote of the Day!

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

That’s a breath of fresh air right there…

Looks like rain kids, stay dry!



One more try?

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The only thing I’ve been quitting is the actual diet…every time I start I stop.  But I don’t stop trying!

It’s the dream really, the thought of being a skinny guy like I used to be…

244 this morning, how I could be less than 248 after a weekend of beer and eating tons of food is amazing…

I know why though, I spent Saturday installing a patio door for a buddy and Sunday building a deck for another.  That’ll burn those calories….

So today I’ll try to get back to low carbs for a couple days, until Wednesday night poker at the very least!

So eggs for breakfast, steak for lunch and dinner????

Maybe one or 2 light beers…We shall see.


The occasional beer can’t hurt right? It’s the food calories you consume while and after drinking that are the killer. Those calories go straight into fat!
The joys…

On Wednesday I’ll try to go easy on the eats, I really haven’t been putting back much booze at poker the past month so my only issue is the mange…I’m talking about stuffing it into the gob.

On a road trip to Picton this week my brother in law commented on how much I was able to eat.

It’s like he feels full and I don’t have that response.

and the reason is kids?

drum roll….

I eat too much!!!  If you stuff an XL pizza in then your stomach is used to those 16 slices.  Take it easy for a couple days and it simply won;t be easy to stuff it in.  If you cram it there will be space!

So I take it easy for a couple of days…

Quote of the day:

I realized, ‘Yo, I can’t do anything in moderation. I don’t know how.’


In 10 minutes or so I’m going to go outside and attempt 5 kilometres of running.  I know I can do the distance…I just don;t know if my toe can do the distance!




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Made a small road trip to Picton yesterday with my brother in law.

Ate fast food twice….

Again, hardly a diet.

I start again today, toe will be good enough to run on next week I’m thinking.

No quote….just a fat man in what appears to be spandex but is really a cotton t-shirt and a keyboard.

Good thoughts…clear the mind….




It’s not even worth mentioning….

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what isn’t?  Groundhog day.  I’ve had so many it’s really just the norm…Deffo not worth a major motion picture.

Weighed in this beauty day at 246.  Imagine that after 3 double stuffed fajitas, 4 pieces of liquorice, 3 track suits and 2 beers.

Wait for it…I then came home a loser from poker and had 2 slices of peanut butter toast like any sane 43 year old fat guy!


What is wrong with me?  Guesses…


Well it certainly is the million dollar question.  We all know the answer to that one.

Beagle has reported in at his all time maximum, 210 pounds.

Seems okay yes?  I mean I’d love to weigh in at 210 pounds!

Let’s have a bit of a closer look at this shall we, an internet photograph may help…let me see what I can dig up…

Here we go…shorttall

For those of you in the know this will be easy.  The slender gent on the right is Scott Cainnes…use your imagination now folks.

For those of you that don’t know Mr. Cainnes, he is approximately 5 feet tall, give or take half an inch.

We have discussed it at length and he does contend that this is the average male height while I think it’s 6’2″…he isn’t happy about that….but let me stay on topic here…

Beagle…well he is on the left standing beside the gentleman that is 5 feet tall…..give or take half an inch or so.

So you see, 210 pounds may not be the proper BMI category for young Beagle…

I wouldn’t refer to him as obese…he has skinny eyebrows…  Anyway I’m wondering if Beagle has sincerely devoted himself to 300 pounds, he has claimed that he will never diet again.

Bored at work?  Check out my latest website

Site built on Monday and tracking great on the google search by Wednesday!

The quote of the day:

I thinned them out real thin once and it just didn’t look like me. I know it was in style to have really thin eyebrows, but it didn’t look right on my face.

Denise Richards 

Just another thing that Beagle and Denise Richards do not have in common…If opposites attract Beagle may get a gold star…

Sunny days!  Get out there!




one down…one up…

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244 today. Image that. A pound of beef jerky will work wonders.

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten beef jerky and been down on the scale the next day…Why is that?  Well its sodium kids, good old fashioned heart clenching salt.  The white killer right beside sugar.  And I guess crack…

tonight at poker we will be dining on fajitas, Derek’s home made and delicious.

I’m going to have one…and 4-6 beers.  It’s a done deal already.

The toe is medium…its thinking about releasing the nail and possibly whatever meat is dead or dying underneath.  I’m not super excited for it but it’s going to happen so I’m trying to prepare myself mentally.

This morning I had a slice of bacon and 2 hard boiled eggs.  I keep eggs around to eat which keeps me off the chips.  I think of them as rotten timbits.

Short and sweet and a quote of the day to boot:

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.
Isak Dinesen

It’s so true, sweat, tears or mojitos served up by a Cuban while sunning on the beach.  I’ll take a mojito please…keep ’em coming.



today’s blog is brought to you by the letter F…

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That’s right folks, good old letter F.




Weighed in this morning at 243.  easy peasy man weight, lost 4 pounds.  It means nothing, zero.  anything less than 20 I can put back on in 3 days.

I almost put my Hustler shirt on today, I wore it to poker last Wednesday and any of the guys can tell you…it looks like the t-shirt of a 12 year old boy that I’ve squeezed into.

What does that mean?

Well kids…where do you go after an XL Old Navy T-shirt?  Old Navy is already cutting these clothes big.  It’s not like I’m shopping for a 5XL at Mexx.  This is good old Old Navy where a 36 pants is actually a 40.

I guess I’m buying flowered shirts at the big and tall soon…


I did manage to squeeze in a few beers yesterday,  I do enjoy them and working in the garage it’s pretty much a must have.

Toe is on the mend, maybe next week I can manage a run with the wife.  Until then I try not to eat too much junk…

wait a second…did I hear a record skip a beat? Tomorrow is Poker Wednesday kids, I’ll be over 250 by this time Thursday!


Today we get a quote:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

And Beagle and Kevin don’t think I appreciate them…come on guys!

By the way, both of these fatties are at it harder than ever, I think Beagle actually stated he gives up on trying.  Hey, only 40% of the population die from heat disease…hot dogs it is!

Beauty day, get out there!




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Okay. 247 pounds. the joy!

I can do this…I can lose 20 friggin pounds.  All I need to do is stop eating after 6 pm, or maybe just veg after that.

Its the bon bons that are putting me over the edge, like last nights bag of snickers bites at 9pm.  No Good!

running is out for the next couple of week as I’ve cut my toe in half but we do plan on getting back to the gym in 2 weeks when the kids are done school, a 7 am daily event perhaps?  We shall see.

The 69 firebird in my garage is fully rust, it will push the limits of the capabilities I have yet to acquire…ya, it’s that bad.

It looked better before I stripped it folks…
Lots to do.

Today I intend on losing a pound, at 247 there is an easy 5 pounds of man weight there so I’m certain it won’t be an issue.

I’ll let you know tomorrow morning!

No quote…it’s to mind boggling for me to find.




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Running on 3 hours of sleep after a marathon poker session from 7 pm to 4 am.  During this time I had 2 track suits and 6 beers, not too much on the drinking end of the spectrum.

I also managed a huge sandwich…oh wait, some chips…more???  I had 2 sausages before I left the house…and?  I may have had a slice of pizza at 3 am.


Oh…came home with $530.  Feel like death.  Might even be sick…and we are off to run errands and hit the Indian buffet.  Hopefully that gets me around the bend!

I am supposed to perform a 5km run today…maybe later…after a nap.

More man blog later…after a rest…maybe a small ralph…puke

Quote of the day…thus far:

Picture it in your mind’s nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.
Sloane Crosley

I’m on my way.





I’m just runnnnning

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I managed another 5 km yesterday, running for speed.  A fat man can have dreams.

This morning I woke up with Zero leg pain, other than the normal knee issues, which means I’m getting stronger in the running category.  My initial goal is to run a 24 minute 5k.  10 years ago it was gravy, I could pull off a 21, but I was 40 pounds lighter and 10 years younger.

The scale hasn’t budged, I’m still over 245.  Let’s be honest with ourselves…I ran 5 k, had 2 beers, 2 meat sticks and a muffin.  I’m still up 500 calories just in the post 7 pm feed.

Dropped the kids off for school this morning and played chicken with a cyclist.  I’m in the outside turning lane heading left and he is across the street opposite of me.  Light turns green he signals that he is going to make the turn and goes super wide into my lane…

This guy is looking right at me…like right into my eyeballs…

He must have seen something, or came to his senses…he managed to get on his side of the road about 10 feet away from my bumper.

Don’t get me wrong…I bike.  I also hate cyclists.  The total disregard of traffic laws while expecting every one around you to follow the rules…donkeys.

Run a stop sign on a bike, get smoked by a car and blame it on the driver…perfectly normal.

Anyway, let’s all try to stay out of the lane of oncoming traffic…please consider that 5000 lbs pickups aren’t fluffy pillows…

Poker tonight…I hope to have less than 100 bacon wrapped weaners tonight.  I’m going to eat…guaranteed…but I’ll try to stay under 10,000 calories.

let’s see…a photo…what do we have…

Beagle’s baseball team has had a great start this season with a couple big wins…then this…


I could make this stuff up, but no, it’s real life.

So, no baseball for Beagle.

In other news, the firebird is coming apart nicely, I hope to build the body cart for it this week and really get down to business.

Last but not least, this past weekend marked the 10 year anniversary for the GBG.  10 years ago a group of strangers met on a soccer field in barhaven and are still at it today.

Many good times had and many more to come.

Back by popular demand!!!!  The Quote of the Day!

“To make a point of declaring friendship is to cheapen it. For men’s emotions are very rarely put into words successfully. ”
― Hunter S. Thompson

There we go folks…Another from Hunter.  Right or wrong I like to give the guy props when possible.

Another beauty day if the rain holds off.  Enjoy it…Winter will soon be back!