The good news? I spent a week in an all inclusive and I don’t weigh more than I ever have in my entire life…
I spent a week away in Cuba in an all inclusive…possibly drinking a few sodas and surviving on a high carb diet and I came back weighing exactly the same as I did……..drum roll please….when I was at my heaviest ever!
Nice! Hey, at least I didn’t make a new record.
The trip was good, much of it spent just laying around in the sun with a good book…or 2…and walking the beach. Almost all of that time was spent drink in hand.
The best part of the trip for me was getting to meet Paris Hilton…not the real Paris Hilton…but the fat lady that sat in front of me on the plane on the flight down. You see the second she got into her seat she became Paris. The new aircraft seem to have pretty good leg room, maybe they raised the seats…more space between them…I’m not sure, but when I squeeze my 6’3″ 250 pound in I feel pretty good, not uncomfortable at all. Paris sits down and as soon as her butt touched the cotton polyester blend of her airplane seat she hit the attendant button.
I figured she had mistaken that call button for the light, it was early in the morning and the sun had not yet come up, but no…she wanted a pillow. Which is not a free item on an Air Canada flight in economy so she decided to pass.
Over the next 3 and a half hours she hit the button 8 more times, water, pop, napkin, take my napkin away…but that’s not a huge deal…if she hadn’t of performed these actions from a laying position.
You see once the person in front of me reclines their seat all the way…I’m of the height where that person and I make eye to eye contact. Paris is effectively in my lap…maybe she would like a head massage or a shampoo. Anyway….a quick nod and a smile and I reclined my seat…to watch the in flight movie on the horizon…
Now I really hate to do this to myself…and you dear reader…so a warning. just below there will be a photo of me with my shirt off…I can hardly stand looking at it myself…so look away if you’ve just crushed a meal.
I’m not sure what state I was in during this photo but judging from coloration of the skin and shadow angles on the photo I assume it is sometime in the afternoon and I’ve just crab walked to the room to cool off a bit…aka nap time…aka nap time out of the sun.
I like Cuba, I like old cars and clean beaches. I like that the locals want your money but aren’t willing to risk killing you for it…
I’m a good tipper so generally I don’t wait for drinks, there is always a table ready for me at the trough with my favourite drink waiting…
This was our first time away without kids in too many years and we spend LOTS of it just being lazy.
I did allow my wife to talk me into going with a 4 SPF sunscreen one day which was a pile of fun, I was gunning to buy an 8 or 12 at the gift shop as we only had a 4 and a 30 at home before we left. In reality the 30 was nice and I think I’ve learnt my lesson. The tan I have will fade away within a couple days and it really isn’t worth the agony of a 12 hour bake sporting a 4.
So the diet? I guess I start again today. At this weight the first 10 pounds should be easy…come on. I’m not sure where beagle is at, he flies out tomorrow so I’m assuming he has starved all week to drop that last 9 pounds he was gunning for. And Parker…Shakes Parker????
I’m on the guitar and code I promise…now all I have to do is lose weight…
The quote of the day:
I don’t really think, I just walk.
Be cool, stay warm!